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Old 02-29-2008, 08:11 PM   #21
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Buck and I had a wonderful wedding. About 125 guests at an historical 1700s-type home that was used as an event facility. We had a live band, wonderful food, lots of champagne, etc.

After it was all said and done, I made my gown, all the gowns for the bridesmaids, all the flowers, all the favors, and the cake and the non-alcoholic punch. I bought the invitations at a discount, we paid the photographer for his film only (developed the pictures ourselves), paid a local high school home ec class to do all the serving at the reception as well as the clean-up, found a liquor store that sold champagne (not $$$$ kind, but good) at a fine price, and paid a local grocery store to prepare the food for the buffet reception.

All the tuxes for the men in the wedding party were rented from a big department store and, because there was a certain number of men, we got them at a substantial discount and received Buck's for free.

When it was all said and done, our total expenses for our wedding, including paying the minister, was less than $2,000. That was in 1983 in Washington, DC, so I think we did okay.
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Old 02-29-2008, 08:15 PM   #22
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My daughter-in-law's mom had disposable cameras at every table and we got some incredible pictures that might not have been taken otherwise..............good and not so good but appreciated nonetheless.......
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Old 02-29-2008, 08:25 PM   #23
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Ah, that's nice, KatieE. Thanks for sharing--you two are like two peas in a pod........
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Old 02-29-2008, 10:25 PM   #24
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I will have to say that even tho my wedding was cheap, there is no money in the world that could buy the memories I have from it. Like when the bird pooped on my mom as we were fleeing the scene (I have it on tape and I cry laughing at it every time I watch it.), getting to see my aunt Judy the first time is years, spending time with family and friends that I knew and loved... I know at some of these shin-digs, you look through the crowd and wonder who in the heck some of those people are!!!
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Old 02-29-2008, 11:42 PM   #25
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Yep, the event passes and I remember little about it.

I forget how much the license cost, and if there was a cost for the Judge to marry us.

I do remember , we were the second couple wed between arraignments, the first bride was pregnant and looked as though she were going to give birth at any moment. I'm guessing the two older couples were the parents, no one looked happy.

We had a great time.

It's only been 16 years, probably won't last.


I've always wondered about the pathology behind the need/ desire for expensive weddings.
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Old 03-01-2008, 04:31 AM   #26
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When we got married last year we decided upfront we're spending most our budget on food and wine as we love it so much:-) We wanted meze/tapas style food on the table all night long but we were only 45 people so it wasn't too expensive(hired a caterer who was just starting out) and we had an open bar but we could buy our own liquor and take it to the reception venue. We e-mailed our invites, I didn't have a wedding cake or a bridal party, a friend did the photographs as his wedding present to us(came out beautifully) and we compiled a playlist of songs on DH's laptop. I bought a dress that wasn't a wedding dress but looked like one - thus a LOT cheaper(+/$300) - and we made my bouquet the morning of the wedding by just tying lilies and greens together with a chiffon ribbon - looked to me exactly like a bridal bouquet. It was SUCH fun - we got married at 2 in the afternoon and the wedding ended around 2 in the morning - most people stayed over as you could hire chalets at the venue - everyone says it's the best wedding they've ever been to - and it cost around $5000 (which was of course more than we budgeted - never knew things like hiring table linen and cutlery cost so much :-0 - it's amazing that when the word "wedding" gets uttered vendors just doubles their prices :-) Oh - and the open bar didn't help the budget either). But we're in our mid thirties so we could afford to go a bit over budget - if we got married when we we're still in our mid twenties (we dated for 12 years:-)) and starting out we would have definitely have had an even more casual wedding .
It did help only having 45 people and what made it so special was that it was only closest family (parents and siblings) and closest friends. But I digress - in the end what people will remember is that it was a fun day - not that they got their invites via e-mail or that there wasn't a wedding cake or bridesmaids. And with not having to worry about the little things I was a much less stressed out bride. It's a good thing though that "Who's wedding is it anyway" wasn't on TV when I was planning my wedding - might have gotten carried away . . . lol . But I'm off to nostalgically go look at my wedding album now :-)
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Old 03-01-2008, 06:01 PM   #27
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In our case it was a big wedding or a new beautiful house.

I love our house. I think we paid 75 dollars for a judge to marry us.
A person after my own heart! Makes eminent sense to me!
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Old 03-01-2008, 06:03 PM   #28
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I've always wondered about the pathology behind the need/ desire for expensive weddings.
It's known as the "Cinderella Syndrome."
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Old 03-01-2008, 09:41 PM   #29
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I've always wondered about the pathology behind the need/ desire for expensive weddings.
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It's known as the "Cinderella Syndrome."
I am really not sure how to take that statement. Just because someone wants to spend $ on a wedding, it does not have to be a negative.

We spent a lot of money on ours because there were certain things we wanted and we were happy to pay for those things. We wanted to throw a party that our friends and family would enjoy. We wanted to make one of the most special days in our life truly special and memorable. We did not spend money we did not have, but we sure as heck spent a lot. It seems that there seems to be a very negative connotation being placed on that and I really do not understand it. If someone wants to have a wedding for $50 then that is absolutely great and nothing wrong with it at all. Why can the same not be true for someone that wants to spend 50K or 60K or 100K on their wedding???
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Old 03-01-2008, 09:45 PM   #30
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If someone wants to have a wedding for $50 then that is absolutely great and nothing wrong with it at all. Why can the same not be true for someone that wants to spend 50K or 60K or 100K on their wedding???
Ah, GB, there's the rub. In my opinion, spend what you wish on your wedding. Just make sure you HAVE the money and don't have to go into debt to do it. There is nothing more difficult than starting married life together...in debt.

I'm not speaking from experience, but I can't imagine being newly married and in debt. For anything. It just doesn't seem like the way to start out on the right foot.
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Old 03-01-2008, 09:50 PM   #31
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I do not disagree with that at all Katie. I think it is crazy to spend money you do not have on a 5k dress or whatever. It is just that some of the comments in this thread do not seem to be about that, but more about wanting to spend a lot or even spending a lot regardless of ability to pay for it. Warts comment about the pathology of wanting an expensive wedding for instance.
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Old 03-01-2008, 09:59 PM   #32
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I understand, GB. I guess it comes from my frugality. Well, being cheap as Buck says. He says I can make a penny cry. I've always been that way in spite of growing up in a totally different way. My birth mother spent money like water and often. I never adopted that mindset.

I loved our wedding and many years later, I'm happy to say folks who were there still comment on how much fun they had at it. Guess we achieved our goal of "putting on a good party."

Two of my favorite memories are that my little daughter was one of the attendants and was soooo excited about being able to wear her first pair of "big girl shoes." Then my youngest son proudly announced to anyone who would listen, "I'm going to wear a "duckseedo" in my mom's wedding." Priceless.
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Old 03-01-2008, 10:08 PM   #33
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And I think they way you did it is great Katie. There is nothing wrong with throwing a wedding for short money. It can be as magical or even better than a wedding that cost a million dollars. Of course the opposite can be true as well.

We had over 250 guests at our wedding. Just feeding that many people is going to necessitate a certain dollar amount. We obviously would not be able to do that for $50. My wife and I did not know every single person there, but the day was not just about us. It was about our friends and family too. My parents had friends there that I had no idea who they were. It meant a lot to my parents they they were there though. My in laws had family there that we had never met before. It meant everything to my in laws to have them there though. We did know the majority of the people there though and every single person there were there because we wanted them to share in our special day. There is no way we could have done that for $50 or $75 or whatever.

I guess my point is that there is nothing wrong with spending as much as you want on a wedding if you want to.
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Old 03-01-2008, 10:14 PM   #34
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Speaking as someone who had a lovely, fancy big wedding and also someone who had a $200 wedding in her living room, let me say this. I LOVED my fancy wedding, I loved having the big bash, the beautiful gown, seeing my new hubby in a tux, all my friends and family being together for a big party. But looking back on it now, it was a lot of planning, stress and money. I don't think there is anything wrong with a big wedding. I'm the kind of girl who loves a good wedding. I didn't want to ever go through the planning, stress or the money to have a second fancy wedding, so when I married Mr Toots, we got hitched as quickly and easily as possible.
I think age has a component to this. I was 26 the first time around and 38 when I got married the second time. I think when you are younger or if you've never been married before, the wedding is more of a big deal, especially for the woman. I wanted to wear that big fancy gown and I sure did wear a tiara. I have beautiful memories from both weddings, so in the end I think it really should only matter to the bride and groom.
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Old 03-01-2008, 10:18 PM   #35
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DW and I have talked about it often and have both agreed that if we were ever to do it again for whatever reason we would do it with just our closest family and friends. Probably on a beach somewhere in bathing suits. The way I see it, as long as the parties involved are happy then who cares what it cost be it a lot or a little.
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Old 03-01-2008, 10:25 PM   #36
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Absolutely GB. The wedding should be what the bride and groom want and can afford. After all, they're the ones getting married. Money means different things to different people but clearly most people have very strong feelings about it hence the strong opinions about wedding costs. But I don't think anyone would begrudge you the obvious pleasure you and your bride got out of your big wedding. It sounds like it's something ya'll get a kick out of to this day!
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Old 03-01-2008, 10:28 PM   #37
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Well said Fisher's Mom.
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Old 03-01-2008, 10:30 PM   #38
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Well said Fisher's Mom.
I couldn't agree more.
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Old 03-01-2008, 10:53 PM   #39
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To borrow from that credit card commercial:

Wedding clothes: $150
Chruch, flowers, reception: $250
Divorce and Child Support: endless!
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Old 03-01-2008, 10:55 PM   #40
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To borrow from that credit card commercial:

Wedding clothes: $150
Chruch, flowers, reception: $250
Divorce and Child Support: endless!

Yep. Been there. Done that. Got it right the second time.
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