Shrek
Assistant Cook
When my oldest son was about 10 years old, we were sitting down to our evening meal. On the menu that night was liver and onions.
Now I know a lot of people have a great dislike for this particular dish, but it has always been one of my favorites; even when I was a child. My sons also liked it and, on occasion, even requested that we have it. Their only stipulation was that I cook it and not their mother(my first wife). She had a tendency to overcook it until it took on the look and tenderness of a pair of old Doc Marten's.
As we were eating and discussing the days events, my oldest boy said, "Dad, we're eating liver, right?" I told him, of course we are.
He then asked me if people ate other animal organs. I said, yes, they do. I told him about haggis, and brains and eggs, and a few other exotic dishes I had tasted in my life. He seemed to be pretty impressed.
He then asked me, "Dad, do people eat kidneys?" I said, "I'm not sure."
He then asked me (since I knew how to fix liver and onions so well) if I knew how to prepare kidneys. I told him no, I'd never eaten kidneys and didn't know how to fix them.
With a straight face, but sparkling, mischievious eyes, he said to me, "I'll bet you have to boil the piss out of them."
He had cast the line, set the hook, and reeled me right in.
Taken by an 10-year-old pun-meister.
I still can't believe it.
