Woman of dreams

The friendliest place on the web for anyone that enjoys cooking.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
i hesitate to say anything since i'm not at all an expert on relationships. i'm married now to a great guy by the grace of God - not 'cause i know what i'm doing :)lol:). but...sush, i really like the advice from AndyM and texasgirl. It's honest, romantic and rings true. If it's meant to be, it will work - if it's not the right thing, you don't want it anyway! be true to yourself above all else!
 
Seems to me...A girl who dates/is engaged to a man who takes his clothes off and wiggles his willie in ladies' faces doesn't think much of women and tends to attract women with low self esteem who are willing to be abused. I agree that she may still be in the "dating bastards" stage and may not be ready for quality, like our Sushi. Women in that stage love to have a sweet guy to confide in and be a buddy, but probably don't see the really good catches, like you, Sush, as a possibility.

I could be wrong, but I don't want you to be let down. I do agree that you need to know if they have a date set or if this guy is just using her without a commitment. Is she wearing a diamond? If there's no date and no diamond, then there's no reason why you shouldn't invite her out to coffee or send her little things over e-mail that make you both laugh, or have heart to heart talks with her about your ambitions, hopes and dreams, and keep the channels open as much as possible. Don't be needy or over-attentive, though. Keep some mystery in the friendship. Make her wonder if you're seeing someone. Be too busy to talk sometimes; don't be available all the time. See if she approaches you and becomes more interested. Be a busy guy with lots of irons in the fire and a lot on the ball...(Terrible metaphors...Sorry!)

Hugs, Sush. You're the best!
 
Sushi, here's my 2 cents' worth:
Most 23 year old girls (and notice I'm calling her a girl, not a woman) as a rule can be pretty shallow. Flirting is a self-esteem boosting game to them, as a rule. Looks are everything to her, and being able to say that the stripper is her fiance is very exciting and appealing, and makes her feel quite important to her friends. If she doesn't have both a date and a ring, she is not engaged. And, until she says her "I dos", she is free to date whomever she pleases.
With that said, here's my advice. If I were 23 and had a man interested in me, I'd probably have no clue. Why? Because the man never said anything. Girls are not psychic.

I'd just be bold and daring (which I know for a fact that you are), and email her a link to this thread. Your words were raw, and not thought out to the point of superficiality. Your feelings are real. Send them her way. If she is interested, she'll take a step. If not, you'll know, and you can get on with your dating life.

I'm rooting for you!
 
Sushi,

You have gotten some really good advice about what to do, and I have nothing to add to it. I will give you a little advice about what not to do though. Under no circumstances say anything negative about the stripper to her--even if she says all kinds of bad things about him herself. If you do that, her defenses will suddenly come out and she will defend him and be mad at you. Does that make sense? Of course not. But that is what women do! You don't have to say anything nice about him either--just don't talk about him.

:) Barbara
 
VERY good advice! Thanks everyone!!!!:mrgreen:


Ever hear of candy thats called Fun Dip?
candy.gif
candy-inc_1824_426567

Well she mentioned she liked them last week. I NEVER heard of them. ANd I told her if one of the owners KNEW what it was, I would go out and get her one.
Well..... the owner KNEW what they were. :mad: So I went out and got her one.

Today, I got 4 of them and stuffed them in an envelope with a cute note and put it in her mailbox.

Later, via Email, I told her "I like her" and that she makes me laugh and that I admide her intelligence (which I do). She DOES make me laugh! ANYWAYYYYYYYS.......
I also noted that she is "FunDip in a sea of tastless skittles".

*banging head on desk* :doh: Lord Im stupid.
 
-DEADLY SUSHI- said:
VERY good advice! Thanks everyone!!!!:mrgreen:


Ever hear of candy thats called Fun Dip?
candy.gif
candy-inc_1824_426567

Well she mentioned she liked them last week. I NEVER heard of them. ANd I told her if one of the owners KNEW what it was, I would go out and get her one.
Well..... the owner KNEW what they were. :mad: So I went out and got her one.

Today, I got 4 of them and stuffed them in an envelope with a cute note and put it in her mailbox.

Later, via Email, I told her "I like her" and that she makes me laugh and that I admide her intelligence (which I do). She DOES make me laugh! ANYWAYYYYYYYS.......
I also noted that she is "FunDip in a sea of tastless skittles".

*banging head on desk* :doh: Lord Im stupid.


Doesn't sound stupid to me. It sounds like a very sweet thing to do. :):)
 
I want her to laugh.... I want her to know she really IS different. :in_love: She retorted with "ha! how long did you have to think that one up?" I said well I could have said "youre eyes are where the summer lies, in pools of quiet fire. But I would be stealing that from a Robert Plant CD". LOL!
 
Andy M. said:
A couple of quotations that have stood the test of time come to mind:

"Faint heart never won fair lady."

"Of all sad words of mouth or pen, the saddest ones, 'It might have been'".

And another quote I love:

There is someone for everyone...even if it takes a pic ax, a compass, and night goggles to find them.

Good luck sush :flowers:
 
Cute notes and quoting song lyrics.

You need to be direct. Otherwise she's not going to get it.
 
I agree with Andy.

My daughters love fun dip we even have them in Australia!!
I think she thinks you are just being cute hit her with the truth.

PS One of the guys at work always buys me my favourite chocolate- should I be thinking more into it????????? I am happily married, I always thought he was just being nice.
 
DS, you never mentioned if she responded to the "I like you" comment via email? Just my 2cents, it's much more fun and interesting if you DONT come out and admit you have feelings for her yet. Afterall she's engaged, and regardless of what this guy does for a living, you should respect that. I know if it were me and a coworker came out and said he had a crush on me knowing I was engaged (regardless of how I felt about my fiancee, I would lose respect for him and think that he thinks lowly of me). Especially if I only see the guy as a coworker and at work, so basically don't consider him a friend yet, but just a good coworker. Not sure if you guys have seen each other socially outside of work yet...The scenario is completely different IMHO if you guys are friends vs. coworkers.
Just flirt like crazy and drop hints until she's ready to come for you. :LOL:
 
So after 32 posts we see that there are MANY different opinions on how to handle this...tell her, don't tell her, kinda tell her, give her candy, ignore her...sheesh, it's no wonder us guys have to go through this kind of agony! You woman are so **** confussing! Let's make this easy...why don't you handle this the way you feel in your heart is right. That way you succeed or fail by your own merit. You can't feel like perhaps somebody gave you the wrong advice, or be mad at yourself for listening to one person and not another. The only way you are going to grow as a person is by sometimes not getting what you want. I feel sorry for all the kids growing up right now. People try soooo hard to make everything "fair and nice". They don't keep score at AYSO soccer games because "everyone's a winner" or there aren't try-outs for Little League baseball so no one is hurt when they aren't picked. What kind of insane crap is this?! Sometimes you don't win the game. Someone has to lose. If you don't get picked on the baseball team, you go home and practice more so next year you will get picked. And sometimes, yes, even the woman you picture as your one true soulmate may say no. So, figure out exactly how you want to handle this and do it. And if she tells you no, then hold your head high knowing that you were man enough to express yourself and move on. Just be yourself. If she responds well to your efforts, you can be proud knowing that it was all you.
 
She went to my manager and I have slapped with ***ual harrasment.:cry: My job is in jeapordy. My manager is treating different. This is it guys. Im going to be fired on Monday I think. :(
 
I hope not. I hadn't commented on your question, but I hope it isn't as bad as you seem to think.
 
Well Sush, all I can say is that it's her loss. I guess she is one of the girls that are too hooked on the bad boy image. I'm sorry that it went this way. Maybe you can talk to your supervisor and tell them that you weren't harrassing, but rather, stating your feelings for her? Now days, there is such a fine line with ***ual harrassment. Some of the laws are not right, but, I guess they are put into place for the real victims. The sad thing is that others abuse it too much!! I'm sorry Sushi, I hope eveything works out for you.
 
I'm so sorry to hear that, some women make it hard for others with true s...harrassment cases to be taken seriously, this seems to be an enormous overreaction but in todays overly litigous society its becoming the norm unfortunately. I can't believe she would go to the manager. I don't like her anymore! You can do better!
 
Oh my. Oh no! Sushi, I'm so sorry to hear your bad news. That girl doesn't know what she missed. Can you write? Make it into a story - it has all the elements of a novel. Maybe change the ending a little bit - or add to it. You'll make a million and have the last laugh. Seriously though, there are lots of wonderful people out there, and you'll meet someone who is smart, funny, enjoys your cooking and LOVES you because you're special. Hang in there. -Sandyj
 
Oh NO!!

I am going to be praying all weekend for you... and I hope that you tell us on Monday one way or the other what happened... that is so sad...

Makes one wonder what this world is coming to...

{{{{{{{DS}}}}}}}
 
Don't worry...she needs to have told you no in order to claim harassment. Be sure to contact a lawyer quickly.
 
Back
Top Bottom