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Old 08-05-2012, 02:47 AM   #1
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Your Third Place

I know I started a line like this many moons ago (it may have even been before DC), but something I just wrote brought it to the front of my mind yet again:

Your first place is your home; where you live. Your second place is your job, where you go every day to make payments on the first place (!)

What is your third place?

I have always had a "happy hour" place. Long about 5-6 p.m. on Fridays, Everywhere I've lived, you can find me at a favored bar, sipping some wine. I met my husband at such a place. Right now, if you come to my town, anyone knows to look for me at 5, and I have about a dozen like-minded friends who will be there with us.

There are a few men who are at the library when it opens (11 a.m.), and they sit together mostly in silence, reading all the newspapers.

I've yet to find a town that doesn't have a McD's group of retired men sitting over breakfast/coffee, hashing over the latest.

We all love our spouses, but no one can be everything for another, 24/7. Where do you go to socialize on a regular basis?

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Old 08-05-2012, 04:27 AM   #2
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It used to be the local saloon for me also, now it is the Sunday morning Flea Market! It reminds me of the vendors in Albert Square on EastEnders. I spend a couple of hours shopping and catching up on the news with the regular shoppers and vendors. It is always interesting to me how people percieve you in these different places in your life, and how few get it right!
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Old 08-05-2012, 04:35 AM   #3
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i used to hang out in one of two irish pubs on west 57th in nyc: dj reynolds, or kennedy's pub. lots of really great friendships and funny stories came out of those two watering holes. through those friendships, i got to see dublin, belfast, derry and the central and north west of ireland like few other american tourists have. not as a tourist, but as a son.

that was 8 years ago and counting. need to get to the old sod soon.

since then, my third place is a baseball field, or somewhere to fish. i get to be a kid again for a while.
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Old 08-05-2012, 04:30 PM   #4
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Money is tight now so I socialize at home. I just tell my friends to bring the meat and drinks, and I entertain them. :)
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Old 08-05-2012, 08:46 PM   #5
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I have a few regular spots I like to go, but for the most part my third place is part of my first place - the back yard! Most evenings in the summer we just enjoy sitting out on the deck or patio, having a glass of wine, and watching the world go by.
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Old 08-05-2012, 09:02 PM   #6
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My third place used to be a cafe I had breakfast at on Monday mornings when my rotation was over. Shrek would already be off to work so home was all by myself until he got home. Then when he started working nights, I hung out at a 24 hour espresso bar, close to his work. Since he retired, I just come home...I think Shrek is my third place...
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Old 08-05-2012, 09:10 PM   #7
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I've never been one for watering holes, even when I was young and neither was Buck. Our evening ritual was sitting on our patio/deck/porch with a cold adult beverage.

For Glenn and me, it's a similar scenario. On comfortable nights we can be found in the swing on our big back porch.

As for the being together with a spouse/SO 24/7, I've always cherished that. When Buck and I moved to Kentucky in 1994, we were together 24/7 until he died in 2008. Those were the best years of our lives together.

Now, it's the same for Glenn and me and were as happy as two clams at high tide. I think, though, at our age we realize that we don't have many years left to enjoy together and we fill each day to its fullest.

My husband has always been my first and third place.
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Old 08-05-2012, 09:12 PM   #8
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I don't have a second place...I work from home (when I have projects). PF, I like your sentiment that Shrek is your third place...how sweet.
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Old 08-06-2012, 12:44 AM   #9
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Yeah, yeah. I've been married for 30 years and just love my husband. But if you think that one person can be your be-all-to-end-all, what are you going to do? Seriously. My husband and I are 60-ish. We need to take care of each other, but also need to make sure we have a life outside of our home.
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Old 08-06-2012, 01:32 AM   #10
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Since I am now limited in my mobility and retired, I have to admit my second place is my kids. Having outlived two husbands, no desire to go that route again. And since I don't drink, watering holes are off my list also. Three of my kids live nearby. I see them often, one on a daily basis. I am one of those folks who have no problem being alone. I enjoy my own company. I always have something to do or a project to work on. I have some friends in the building. And some at Winthrop that go to Day Care more than I do. I go only when I have to. I don't like people prying into my private life. So I can sometimes be standoffish. I have nothing to hide, I just enjoy being alone soometimes.
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Old 08-06-2012, 03:59 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve Kroll View Post
I have a few regular spots I like to go, but for the most part my third place is part of my first place - the back yard! Most evenings in the summer we just enjoy sitting out on the deck or patio, having a glass of wine, and watching the world go by.
We too love sitting outside on the patio overlooking our lovely garden having some drinks...very relaxing indeed
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Old 08-06-2012, 04:04 AM   #12
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3rd Place

Thank you for the interesting post subject ...

1st: Rental Loft Madrid Capital ( this is temporary )
2nd: Magazine Office - professional activities
3rd: Our Port side Spot with Adriatic seascape & ancient Fort views, close to our Condo, Puglia ...
4th: The Sea - worldwide

Have a lovely summer.
Margaux Cintrano
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Old 08-06-2012, 04:39 AM   #13
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Wow, what lovely photos Margi
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Old 08-06-2012, 07:42 AM   #14
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I do have a life outside my home, I read, even if I had a place to hang out, I would take a book with me. I guess I don't NEED other people, but I do NEED Shrek. If I need "me time," I'm likely to go window shopping or just head for the woods.
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Old 08-06-2012, 10:15 AM   #15
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Almost every Wednesday evening for the past 11 years, I've been going out to dinner with friends. We used to go to a different restaurant every week, but the gang has changed, there's a core of three close friends, and we usually go to a local watering hole that has half-price drinks during happy hour (5-7 p.m. every day) and 50-cent tacos on Wednesdays. We're going to switch to Thursdays, because one friend wants to start going to a yoga class on Wednesdays. The Thursday special at Red Dog is half-price pizzas
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Old 08-06-2012, 10:48 AM   #16
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Disabilities and life during the past several years turned my profession (caterer, baker and cake decorator) into a hobby (the cake part). During the time my Dad was with us my first, second and third places were home with him and as much time as I could squeeze in with DH.

But now, I would say my time is spread out this way:
1. My home as a whole and time with hubby
2. Time in my office/studio (still "under construction") perfecting my craft
3. With my youth group - cooking for them, driving them to events teaching them, just being with them!
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Old 08-06-2012, 12:11 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Claire View Post
I know I started a line like this many moons ago (it may have even been before DC), but something I just wrote brought it to the front of my mind yet again:

Your first place is your home; where you live. Your second place is your job, where you go every day to make payments on the first place (!)

What is your third place?

I have always had a "happy hour" place. Long about 5-6 p.m. on Fridays, Everywhere I've lived, you can find me at a favored bar, sipping some wine. I met my husband at such a place. Right now, if you come to my town, anyone knows to look for me at 5, and I have about a dozen like-minded friends who will be there with us.

There are a few men who are at the library when it opens (11 a.m.), and they sit together mostly in silence, reading all the newspapers.

I've yet to find a town that doesn't have a McD's group of retired men sitting over breakfast/coffee, hashing over the latest.

We all love our spouses, but no one can be everything for another, 24/7. Where do you go to socialize on a regular basis?
My second or third place (w/i the last year or so, since freak surgery & trying to recover) has been bed, the supermarket, doing errands, & trying to take care of my home.

In my 20s & early 30s, I met my friends at upscale restaurants or jazz places for Happy Hour. Mostly places where other folks in the "industry" hung out. We knew the musicians and/or folks working in the same industry, & had a common bond. The spread sometimes was pretty good, some serving oysters on silver platters, etc; and others having inexpensive cocktails or pitchers of margaritas & build your own deli sandwiches -- or whatever the chef wanted to put out there.

I can "chat" with almost anyone, but don't care for small talk with strangers. I enjoyed taking classes at a local community college.

I'm single & not out there "looking" to meet anyone. Starbucks seems to be very popular - though I'm not a coffee drinker or interested in "hanging out." An older friend attends a senior center. They go on numerous trips, i.e. Vegas, the theatre, etc.

There are so many things to do & places to go from museums to the theatre - can't narrow it down to a third place.
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Old 08-06-2012, 05:00 PM   #18
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My third place used to be drinks/ dinner with friends but once I got married I realized how jealous my husband actually is so the socializing was too much effort. I now have my third place is wherever my son is.
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Old 08-06-2012, 06:22 PM   #19
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My socializing is on a 3 days a week basis with friends at dialysis, DH goes to meet buddies at the coffee shop near our old pharmacy and then on Friday's he has breakfast for an old partner and other 2 pharmacist's . We love each other dearly and love being together, but there are times we need alone time. There are times I get cranky and need to do something on my own. Now that I can drive again it's get outtah Dodge time on Saturdays when I go grocery shopping all by my lonesome that really brings a smile to my face. Having the babies here on the weekend for Ma's Sunday is the best day of my week. So all in all we each do something that makes us happy and that we can share and smile at with each other.
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Old 08-06-2012, 06:23 PM   #20
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my third place is in my head. thinking of the book, i will read next. how the current craft is going and what i will make next. i have many memories of my husband and they are in my head. sometimes, it is sad thinking and sometime a joy. none of these things require any companion.
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