Eating Etiquette

[CharlieD]

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I haven't read the thread, so I am answering to the first post. And apologizing if I am repeating what was already said.
Couple of things: There are certain foods that you would only truly, no Truly enjoy if you would eat them the way they were created to eat. Shish Kebobs one of those foods. IMHO they absolutely must be eaten from the skewer.

Another point, never, Never eat spaghetti with the spoon and fork, at least not in Italian place, people will quietly laugh at you, or make fun. Big no-no. You Only eat spaghetti with the fork.

Now having said all of that, I have the hardest time to have my younger son to hold fork, or spoon, or knife for that matter properly. Every day we eat, and every day I have to tell him 10 times to hold the spoon/fork right, a minute latter he is holding it wrong. I don’t know what to do with him. He is 11. Any suggestions?

 

[CharlieD]

The hat indoors thing really bothers me. I grew up in a home where you'd get your hat knocked off head if you wore it indoors.

I, guess, you'd be better of not to eat in the observant Jews house, Hat is the Must!

 

[Chopstix]

Also in Italy, aside from a street take away pizzeria where you buy them by a slice (here they usually fold the slice in two to make a "sandwich"), at a table people eat their pizzas with knife and fork, very rarely they grab a slice by hand. It took me a while before I realized this, and while no one say anything, it makes me feel a little barbaric.... thus I learned to eat with knife and fork if I do eat them in a restaurant... however we rarely do... we prefer our own homemade pizza at home!

For me, the only way to eat pizza is to grab a slice and bite into it. Otherwise, it simply doesn't taste as good! I'd do this with no concern for etiquette at any pizza joint. (Of course I'd take care to keep my face free of tomato sauce and oil -- table napkins are essential!) Now at fancier Italian restos, if I'm with close friends or family, I'd still do the same. (Heck, it's the only way to enjoy my pizza!) But if it's with polite company then I'll grudgingly do the knife and fork thing.

 

[The Z]

...I have the hardest time to have my younger son to hold fork, or spoon, or knife for that matter properly. Every day we eat, and every day I have to tell him 10 times to hold the spoon/fork right, a minute latter he is holding it wrong. I don’t know what to do with him. He is 11. Any suggestions?

Perhaps a reward system rather than nagging. He knows how to hold his utensils correctly... right? I mean, after all, you DO tell him repeatedly. How about you say something like, "son, I know you're probably getting as tired of hearing my nagging as I am of doing it... so how about I stop. Instead, I'll just keep an eye on you when we eat and, if you pass to my satisfaction, (I'll let you... I'll give you... We'll go...)" It doesn't have to be much.

By the way, howz your knife/fork style? When I grew up I was never allowed to eat from the fork in my left hand. After I cut the meat, I had to put my knife down and transfer the fork to my right hand. Anybody else have to do that? Much later, when I was in Australia, I developed the habit (common among the people where I lived) of cutting with the right and eating with the left, with the fork in the 'upside down' position. Then, when I moved back to the U.S. people called my eating style 'European'. Now I'm not sure what is proper any more.

 

[Shunka]

Z, the way you were taught to hold a knife and then switch your fork is the way I was taught too. Hubby and his family are from the Netherlands (late FIL was raised on Sumatra) and he was taught to eat using the fork in the left hand. Of course I wonder if hubby's manners (mostly good with a few things that probably will never change......) are due to his Mother's lack of manners at a table. His Father was always gone when he was small so he never picked up his Father's "beyond polite" manners. I don't expect "royal" manners at the table at home but I do expect some manners.

 

[VeraBlue]

By the way, howz your knife/fork style? When I grew up I was never allowed to eat from the fork in my left hand. After I cut the meat, I had to put my knife down and transfer the fork to my right hand. Anybody else have to do that? Much later, when I was in Australia, I developed the habit (common among the people where I lived) of cutting with the right and eating with the left, with the fork in the 'upside down' position. Then, when I moved back to the U.S. people called my eating style 'European'. Now I'm not sure what is proper any more.

There is a military story about Americans and German spies....seems the best way for the americans to know who the spies were in their company was to invite them to dinner. When they cut the meat and kept the fork in the left hand it usually gave their secret away.

I also transfer my fork when I cut, most of the time. I'll usually cut two or three pieces so I don't have to keep switching.

 

[CharlieD]

Perhaps a reward system rather than nagging. ................




.............Then, when I moved back to the U.S. people called my eating style 'European'. Now I'm not sure what is proper any more.

I think i might just use your sugestion and start rewarding him.

As far as knife/fork style, I guess, you will call mine "Europian" as well. That is because I am from Europe, kind of, Ukraine. Interestingly my father was/is a very simple man and he would always cut up what ever need to be cut up. put the knife down and then will eat. Me, hm, as a very young child I saw the movie about some nobility and how they were eating and started to eat that way. always with the knife nad fork, always very proper, even in most relaxed and un proper situations.

 

[philso]

proper american table manners when using both fork and knife = the utensil that's doing the work is in the right hand; hence the fork is transfered back and forth.

proper european table manners = the fork stays in the left while the knife remains in the right, ready to slice.

american usage is a little more comfortable for most people, since most are right handed.

european usage is more efficient.

there are no rights and wrongs about either being proper, being culturally determined customs. the closest thing to being correct would be this: when in rome, do as the romans do. either that, or be comfortable with your own usage and eat as you please.

if you eat with a certain amount of grace, you're doing well enough.

 

[StirBlue]

.
I haven't read the thread, so I am answering to the first post. And apologizing if I am repeating what was already said.
Couple of things: There are certain foods that you would only truly, no Truly enjoy if you would eat them the way they were created to eat. Shish Kebobs one of those foods. IMHO they absolutely must be eaten from the skewer.

Another point, never, Never eat spaghetti with the spoon and fork, at least not in Italian place, people will quietly laugh at you, or make fun. Big no-no. You Only eat spaghetti with the fork.

Now having said all of that, I have the hardest time to have my younger son to hold fork, or spoon, or knife for that matter properly. Every day we eat, and every day I have to tell him 10 times to hold the spoon/fork right, a minute latter he is holding it wrong. I don’t know what to do with him. He is 11. Any suggestions?

I have never been laughed at in an American "Italian" Restaurant or any other restaurant in the U.S.A. They are kinda dependent on their customers to stay in business. Many of the restaurant owners in our country are at least third generation Americans.

My tip system: tip for good service, tip for good food, & good etc.

 

[Andy M.]

I often see a large spoon delivered to the table when a spaghetti dish is served to a customer. I guess the think you'll need one.

 

[Corinne]

Note to self: if ever dining with a fellow DCer, DO NOT order Buffalo Wings...

 

[StirBlue]

Note to self: if ever dining with a fellow DCer, DO NOT order Buffalo Wings...

I'm not a big fan of wings to begin with but when somebody mentioned "cracking" their wing; I just wanted to move to a far off place.

 

[StirBlue]

I was dining at a large crowded restaurant with a friend. The tables were "elbow to elbow". People begin to notice a couple dining and started making loud comments about the lady. She was wearing 20-30 rings on each hand and her nails were about 4" long. Gawdy earrings and a few unsightly facial piercings. This lady seemed to be used to the comments.
Although she was eating with good manners, people just could not get over her appearance.

 

[VeraBlue]

I was dining at a large crowded restaurant with a friend. The tables were "elbow to elbow". People begin to notice a couple dining and started making loud comments about the lady. She was wearing 20-30 rings on each hand and her nails were about 4" long. Gawdy earrings and a few unsightly facial piercings. This lady seemed to be used to the comments.
Although she was eating with good manners, people just could not get over her appearance.

I would suggest that says more about the behaviour of the other diners than it does about the lady with the body modifications. Imagine what a dull world this would be if we all looked and dressed exactly the same? Imagine if freedom of self expression was frowned upon? Imagine if people were so intolerant and disrespectful of a fellow human being's choices that that person felt uncomfortable enjoying a right everyone else enjoys...

 

[buckytom]

hey, everybody knows that you're being a gavone if you use a spoon to help stuff your mout wit pasta.

you're supposed to use the piece if bread in your left hand to help the fork out. then sop up some of the sauce.

 

[Nicholas Mosher]

This is something that carries over into the way I choose to cook and present food. I like the food I serve to people to be ready for eating with either a fork, spoon, or chopsticks. I don't serve bones to people I'm feeding, or give them something that requires "processing" (like a whole steamed lobster). I also try to present the food so that the person doesn't have to pick up their knife. When I eat, I'm relaxed and observant, and don't want to do anything but receive every sense stimulation that comes from the dining experience. It's one thing that I appreciate about many Eastern cuisines that so many Western cuisines disregard (hemispheres, not US coasts).

The exception is hot roasted peanuts from the oven. Nothing like sitting back around a little TV outside with iced beers and roasted peanuts on a cool afternoon watching the Red Sox.

 

[GB]

I have never been laughed at in an American "Italian" Restaurant or any other restaurant in the U.S.A.

Well that may not be true. You have never been laughed at as far as you know. It is possible you have been laughed at behind your back many times without ever knowing it.

 

[GB]

I don't serve bones to people I'm feeding, or give them something that requires "processing" (like a whole steamed lobster).

and don't want to do anything but receive every sense stimulation that comes from the dining experience.

I would argue that part of the "sense stimulation that comes from the dining experience" are the above things you look to eliminate. When I go out for lobster I am sorely disappointed if it is served to me and the shell has been cracked or removed or the tail split in half. That denies me a part of my enjoyment of the overall meal. We go to Maine summer and will only go to restaurants that serve the lobster whole. Any restaurant that opens my bug for me is instantly scratched off the list of places we will return to.

No chicken on the bone? I could not imagine fried chicken any other way.

What about artichokes? They take a lot of work (processing) for very little meat, but what a joy they are.

The list can go on and on.

 

[Snoop Puss]

Nicholas, I'm sure you're being considerate to your guests or clients, but I'm a bit like GB. I like to feel involved with my meal rather than treated like a baby who can only cope with 'easy' food. A bit of work extends the pleasure.

I've deleted all the paragraph I wrote about the joys of eating lamb chops and lettuce with my fingers!

 

[Nicholas Mosher]

Definite points well taken.

I suppose I shouldn't be all-inclusive in that statement. When I cook at BBQs the food has much more "work" involved with it (whether rotisserie chicken, corn on the cob, or shelling peanuts). But when cooking for in-door meals my dishes are almost all purposely presented in a fashion which requires the least amount of work on part of the guest.

Thats just my style though. I like the food ready to be received with no break in that continuity. I find that in my mind there is a change of consciousness when I go from looking/smelling/tasting to picking up tools to prepare my food. I even notice this when eating a bachelor-style piece of rib-eye from the cutting board. I almost always trim and slice it beforehand, pour a beverage, and then commence the counter-top meal.