Christmas Cake

[aussie girl]

1 cup castor sugar
1 cup brown sugar
2 cups dried fruit
4 large eggs
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
lemon juice
lots of nuts
1 cup water
1 bottle vodka

Sample the vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the vodka again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour 1 level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon sugar. Beat again.

At this point it is best to make sure the vodka is still ok.

Try another cup....... just in case.

Turn off the mixerer.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick fruit off floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a sdrewscriver.

Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or somefink. Who giveshz a ****.

Check the vodka.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees, and try not to fall over. Dont forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and fall into bed.

 

[tweedee]

I hate to sound stupid but what is castor sugar?

 

[aussie girl]

Castor sugar is extra fine white sugar, mainly used for cooking (cakes) as it dissolves better than standard sugar.

 

[middie]

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees, and try not to fall over. Dont forget to beat off the turner.


my favorite part lmao

 

[mrsmac]

Tweedee, castor sugar is a more finely gound version of normal white sugar.

Aussiegirl will this recipe work with any cake ??? Could i substitute vodka cruisers and still maintain the integrity of the recipe???

 

[middie]

i moved this to jokes and games

 

[aussie girl]

mrsmac, I think vodka cruisers would be an excellent substitute. They would add extra 'fruity' flavour to the recipe.

I prefer brandy myself, but quoted the recipe 'as is'.

 

[mrsmac]

I think I'll make it with some lovely pineapple cruisers!!