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Old 02-11-2005, 03:48 PM   #1
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I LOVE THESE BLOND JOKES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench
talking........and one blonde says to the other:
"Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the
moon?

The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see
Florida.......?????


CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells
the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few
minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, "What's the story?"

He replies, "Just ! crap in the carburetor"

She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"



SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks
her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act
together.
Just
yesterday you take away my license and then
today you expect me to show it to you!"


KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on
the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that
the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing
that she was oblivious to his flashing lights
and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned
on his bullhorn and yelled , "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the
blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one
day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the ! first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first
on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each
other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the
sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're
going at night!"

IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was
her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on
Science & Nature. Her question was,
"If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name,
can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then
asked, "Is it on or off?"

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had
acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names
were. The blonde responded by saying that one
was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend
said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"Hellllllllooo," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"

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Old 02-11-2005, 03:51 PM   #2
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ROFLMAO!!!! Thanks wasabi, I needed a good laugh!
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Old 02-11-2005, 03:52 PM   #3
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Old 02-11-2005, 03:54 PM   #4
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crewsk, You're the smartest blond I know.
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Old 02-11-2005, 03:59 PM   #5
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Awww...thanks wasabi! :oops: :D You're too sweet!
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Old 02-11-2005, 05:05 PM   #6
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that was a cute post, lol...
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Old 02-11-2005, 05:15 PM   #7
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i love blonde jokes too.
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Old 02-11-2005, 06:00 PM   #8
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Old 02-11-2005, 07:42 PM   #9
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wasabi they are really funny, says this blond. And BTW do you know why blond jokes are so short? so brunetts can understand them
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Old 02-11-2005, 07:46 PM   #10
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Touche
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Old 02-11-2005, 07:52 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wasabi
Touche
could not resist wasabi, but I love blond jokes , most of them anyway.
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Old 02-11-2005, 11:31 PM   #12
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How do blondes' brain cells die?
Alone.

What is a blonde's mating call?
I think I'm drunk.


Why do blondes drive BMWs?

Because they can't spell Porsche.

What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping trolley?

A shopping trolley has a mind of its own.

How do you drown a blonde?
You put a mirror on the bottom of the pool.

How do you confuse a blonde?

Give her a box of M&Ms and ask her to arrange them in alphabetical order.
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Old 02-12-2005, 06:11 AM   #13
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Those are too cute, Wasabi. You can always make us smile or laugh out loud.
Rumple, etc. I think it's spelled Porsche. :)
Your jokes were cute, too. :)
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Old 02-12-2005, 07:03 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lyndalou
Rumple, etc. I think it's spelled Porsche. :)
Your jokes were cute, too. :)
You're not wrong "Lyndalou". Of all the places to make a spelling error,it would have to happen there!:oops:
There was another error in that line but you will never know as it has now been edited.
Thanks for your diligence.
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Old 02-12-2005, 07:10 PM   #15
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LOL! Watch yourself, buddy! The ladies here are not group to be trifled with and they have long memories!
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Old 02-13-2005, 07:14 PM   #16
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The Not So Dumb Blonde
I came in to work early the other day and began hanging upside down from the ceiling. Just then one of my co-workers (she's blonde..it'll be important later) came in and asked me what I'm doing.

"Shh," I said, " I'm a light bulb -- I'm acting crazy to get a few days off, as there is an out of town wedding I need to go to until Tuesday. ."

A minute later the Boss walked by and asked me what I was doing.

"I'm a light bulb!" I exclaimed.

"You're going crazy," he said.

"Take a few days off, and come back when you are de-stressed"

With that, I jumped down and started walking out. My co-worker started following me and the Boss asked where she was going.

I can't work in the dark," she said.
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Old 02-13-2005, 09:18 PM   #17
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Damps right... be careful!
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Old 02-13-2005, 10:40 PM   #18
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The light globe joke was a top one "Texas".
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