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01-28-2013, 01:45 AM
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#3141
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Executive Chef
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Blaine, Washington
Posts: 2,535
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CWS4322
For those who have also been enduring this January deep freeze...
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Rofl!
__________________
If you don't like the food, have more wine! 
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01-28-2013, 02:11 PM
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#3142
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Master Chef
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Brakpan, South Africa
Posts: 5,586
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It was entertainment night at the senior citizens' centre.After the community sing song led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the Star of the Show, Harvey the Hypnotist!
Harvey explained that he was going toput the whole audience into a trance.
"Yes, each and every one of you ...and all at the same time!", said Harvey.
The excited chatter dropped to silence as Harvey carefully withdrew from his waistcoat pocket a beautiful antique goldpocket watch and chain.
"I want you to keep your eyes on this watch" said Harvey, holding the watch high for all to see.
"It is a very special and valuable watch that has been in my family for six generations", said Harvey.
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch --- Watch the watch ----Watch the watch..."
The audience became mesmerised as the watch swayed back and forth, the lights twinkling as they were reflected from it's gleaming surfaces.
One hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movements of the gently swaying watch.
And then,suddenly,the chain broke!!!
The beautiful watch fell to the stage and burst apart on impact.
"SH@T!" exclaimed Harvey.
It took them 3 days to clean the Senior Citizens Centre and Harvey the hypnotist was never invited to entertain again!
__________________
Odette 
"I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass."
"I hear voices and they don't like you  "
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01-28-2013, 02:43 PM
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#3143
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Chef Extraordinaire
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: near Montreal, Quebec
Posts: 25,004
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 Snip. I laughed so hard I startled the cat.
__________________
May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.
Robert A. Heinlein
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01-28-2013, 03:05 PM
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#3144
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Ogress Supreme
Site Administrator
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 38,654
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I scared the you know what out of Shrek...
__________________
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” - Albert Einstein
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01-28-2013, 03:16 PM
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#3145
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Master Chef
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Brakpan, South Africa
Posts: 5,586
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PrincessFiona60
I scared the you know what out of Shrek...
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__________________
Odette
"I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass."
"I hear voices and they don't like you "
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01-28-2013, 03:43 PM
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#3146
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Chef Extraordinaire
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 13,114
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Love it 
__________________
All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt
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01-28-2013, 06:46 PM
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#3147
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Sous Chef
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: WV
Posts: 952
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That was hilarious!!
__________________
You are the BOSS of that dough. – Julia Child
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01-28-2013, 06:57 PM
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#3148
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Chef Extraordinaire
Site Moderator
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 25,028
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__________________
She who dies with the most toys, wins.
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01-28-2013, 09:11 PM
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#3149
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Executive Chef
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Colorado
Posts: 4,199
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This thread is SO funny! You guys are the best. Thanks all!
__________________
 No matter where I serve my guests, it seems they like my kitchen best!
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01-28-2013, 09:27 PM
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#3150
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Executive Chef
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Blaine, Washington
Posts: 2,535
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I really do like Ina, but this was so funny ;-)
Attachment 16972
__________________
If you don't like the food, have more wine!
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01-28-2013, 10:05 PM
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#3151
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Ogress Supreme
Site Administrator
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 38,654
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Somebunny
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ROFL!!!
__________________
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” - Albert Einstein
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01-29-2013, 04:04 AM
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#3152
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Chef Extraordinaire
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 13,114
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Somebunny
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__________________
All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt
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01-29-2013, 09:09 AM
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#3153
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Executive Chef
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,096
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LOL Ina's not alone !!
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01-29-2013, 02:06 PM
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#3154
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Head Chef
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Duluth, MN
Posts: 890
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01-29-2013, 02:18 PM
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#3155
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Master Chef
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Brakpan, South Africa
Posts: 5,586
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skittle68
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That's me
__________________
Odette
"I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass."
"I hear voices and they don't like you "
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01-29-2013, 04:54 PM
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#3156
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Chef Extraordinaire
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 13,114
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Me too
__________________
All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt
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01-29-2013, 05:39 PM
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#3157
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Chef Extraordinaire
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: East Boston, MA
Posts: 22,365
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I started out and got half the silverware in the sink washed, then I noticed that the coffee pot was empty, had to stop for that, when I brought my fresh cup of coffee over to the computer, I noticed that there was a lot of dust on the bookcase, got a couple of shelves dusted, had to answer the phone, management came for the walk through, had to go down to get my mail, came back upstairs and picked up some towels in the bathrrom to go into the laundry basket. Now what was I doing? Oh yeah. The silverware. I am too tired to do that now. A typical day.
__________________
Illegitimi non carborundum!
I don't want my last words to be, "I wish I had spent more time doing housework"
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01-29-2013, 05:50 PM
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#3158
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Executive Chef
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Mostly in my head
Posts: 2,601
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skittle68
This.
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My sister and I both do that.
__________________
Just because something has a duck bill doesn't mean it's a platypus. It might just be a duck. 
Roger Miller: You can't roller skate in a buffalo heard, but you can be happy if you've a mind to.
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01-29-2013, 08:25 PM
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#3159
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Executive Chef
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Colorado
Posts: 4,199
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Nice to know that I am not alone in my cleaning habits.
__________________
No matter where I serve my guests, it seems they like my kitchen best!
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01-29-2013, 11:50 PM
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#3160
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Executive Chef
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Blaine, Washington
Posts: 2,535
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chopper
Nice to know that I am not alone in my cleaning habits. |
+1 lol!
__________________
If you don't like the food, have more wine!
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