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Old 07-31-2018, 09:10 PM   #8361
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katie H View Post
I'm so sorry, but this put me on the floor.


A man in a taxi cab taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screams bloody murder, loses control of the cab, and swerves onto the sidewalk before stopping just inches from a lamppost.

After checking to make sure the passenger is OK, the driver says "I'm sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me!"

"Sorry. I didn't realize a simple tap on the shoulder would freak you out so much," the passenger says.

"It's not your fault," replies the cabbie.

"Today is my first day on the job after 25 years of driving a hearse."

Okay, in the past 40 minutes that joke has gotten 12 likes/laughs, 2 comments and 12 shares on my humor site.
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Old 07-31-2018, 09:44 PM   #8362
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KatieH.... hysterical! Thank goodness I HAD just taken a potty break!
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Old 07-31-2018, 11:45 PM   #8363
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I made an appointment last week to see a fortune teller.i turned up to the door with a note on it.
It read
Closed due to unforeseen circumstances.
Russ
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Old 08-01-2018, 07:06 AM   #8364
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ROFL!
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Old 08-04-2018, 12:15 PM   #8365
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Talk about advertising placement

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Old 08-04-2018, 12:18 PM   #8366
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My daughter woke me around 11:50 last night. My wife and I had picked her up from her friend Sally's birthday party, brought her home, and put her to bed. My wife went into the bedroom to read while I fell asleep watching the Braves game.

"Daddy," she whispered, tugging my shirt sleeve. "Guess how old I'm going to be next month."

"I don't know, beauty," I said as I slipped on my glasses. "How old?"

She smiled and held up four fingers.

It is 7:30 now. My wife and I have been up with her for almost 8 hours. She still refuses to tell us where she got them.
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Old 08-04-2018, 12:55 PM   #8367
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ROFL!!!
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Old 08-04-2018, 05:21 PM   #8368
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TAT... sorry - I've read it and read it and I don't get it.
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Old 08-04-2018, 05:33 PM   #8369
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TAT... sorry - I've read it and read it and I don't get it.


She held up four fingers and she won’t say where she got them.

They weren’t her fingers. . .
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Old 08-04-2018, 06:23 PM   #8370
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Quote:
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...She smiled and held up four fingers.

It is 7:30 now. My wife and I have been up with her for almost 8 hours. She still refuses to tell us where she got them.
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Old 08-05-2018, 07:40 AM   #8371
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I, too, couldn't put it all together......... Mensa humor, I'm thinking....
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Old 08-05-2018, 09:12 AM   #8372
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I had to reread it.
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Old 08-05-2018, 09:32 AM   #8373
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Egads... it's so obvious now!

Now is that at the joke or at me?
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Old 08-05-2018, 03:56 PM   #8374
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I still don't get it, even after Andy's explanation. Oh well.
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Old 08-05-2018, 04:05 PM   #8375
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I still don't get it, even after Andy's explanation. Oh well.
"She smiled and held up four fingers."

"She refuses to tell us where she got them."

They weren’t her fingers.

They were someone else's fingers
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Old 08-05-2018, 06:23 PM   #8376
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TATRAT - me thinks, perchance, you need to work on that one!
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Old 08-05-2018, 06:37 PM   #8377
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I guess I don't get the humor because I'm reading a book about a serial killer that's giving me nightmares.
(Stillhouse Lake, Rachel Caine)
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Old 08-05-2018, 06:41 PM   #8378
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Kayelle - now you know who did it! the little girl! so throw the book away and find something lighter!
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Old 08-05-2018, 07:58 PM   #8379
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ROFL! I immediately got Tatt's finger joke. You need a warped sense of humor...
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Old 08-05-2018, 08:15 PM   #8380
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lol!
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