My list of 10 guilty kitchen secrets that mean I will never be a chef!

[alisontomsmum]

A couple of months ago i got hooked on a program called "Rosemary shreigersa school for cooks", a bit like the aprentice but for cooking!! I found it compelling viewing, but everytime i cooked i found myself saying "that would never be aceptable presentation in a real kitchen! or that seasoning is just not subtle enough!!!!! DH has now banned me from watching anyting of the sort cos he said it made me grumpy in the kitchen!

I love cooking for freinds and family, love making my own cakes, jams and breads, but no mater how hard i try i cant make myself a foody! Anything too fancy or faffy i just cant be bothered!

So here it is, my list of 10 guilty kitchen secrets that mean i will never earn a michlin star!

I love cooking but would hate to be a chef!

I use jared garlic, its just too much hastle to chop as i have a rubish garlic crusher! Ditto jared chillis

My current set of knives are blunt and cost £1.50 from wilcos

The new knives i bought i got cos i liked the knife block!

I dont know how to sharpen a knife properly!

When i cut up my veg its not even! (RS would have my head for that!)

I sometimes forget to change my oven back from grill setting and have a habit of acidently grilling cakes!

I dont sift my flour!

I use a bread machine to kneed my dough (although i do cook it in the oven )

I cook with cheep wine.....

......my list could go on!

Well now you know, now ive eased my mind and "fessed" up. Im off to banish evil cooking shows from my mind and go back to just ENJOYING cooking again... no michlin stars for me.... so what!....... well at least until the next series starts...!

 

[YT2095]

When i cut up my veg its not even! (RS would have my head for that!)


I dont sift my flour!


I cook with cheep wine.....

well I`m "Guilty" of those also, except I cook with cheap beer and just neck the wine
I deliberately don`t cut my veg even, I like the chinese way of chopping them, I split a carrot, and make a diagonal cut, flip the carrot and do the same the Other direction, I think it looks nicer, If I wanted perfectly even I`ll build a Robot!

as for Flour sifting LOL, life`s too short!

 

[middie]

You mean... we're supposed to sharpen knives ???
Whoops

 

[bethzaring]

you're my kind of woman/cook

 

[csalt]

you're my kind of woman/cook

Yes, mine too. Don't forget it's meant to be fun and enjoyable. Otherwise what's the point?

 

[alisontomsmum]

Yup I'll go for fun.... anyway michelin star chefs dont have 2 yerar olds hanging onto there legs, demanding to use the "foo pro-ces-es-er" or 5 months old grizzling at them!!!! (thats my excuse and im sticking to it!)

 

[JillBurgh]

Okay I'll admit I'm a kitchen snob. The MIL has the WORST kitchen habits and it just kills me to see her cook. I otherwise love the ol' bag, but she needs to step out of the kitchen already!

She cuts her veggies over the pot with one hand and a dull knife. When she does use a cutting board, she uses those glass death-boards you can buy at the grocery store if you really don't want any fingers or to ever have another sharp knife. She believes all sauces and foods should be thin/runny (including chili and mashed potatoes). She actually chastised another DIL for making the mashed potatoes too thick once (they were perfect IMO). She cross contaminates like she wants us all six feet under. Cooked ribs go back on the platter she transported them to the grill with! And she always frosts her cakes while they're still hot and then complains that the recipe for the frosting must have been bad.

Me, on the other hand? I have no bad habits. Ha! Just kidding. I'm a real slob.

 

[jabbur]

Thanks to the food network, a lot more people are exposed to haute cuisine. The problem is these chefs and hosts all rave about the smell and the taste but the average person at home watching has no idea about how it really smells/tastes. I watch these chefs meticulously plating their dishes and putting these little flourishes and think "Why bother?" It's almost like they think "if it looks good it will taste good".
That's why I serve everyday dinners from the pots they are cooked in. It also saves me washing serving dishes!

 

[Maverick2272]

That is, until they invent Smell-O-Vision!

Me, I try not to worry too much about whether or not I would ever win any contests with my cooking, I wouldn't. I think I would loose on 'plating' alone. Just not a fancy guy.

My kitchen is wreck, remodeled about as cheaply and poorly as could be in the 70's, and they even blocked up the vent to the outside! I have since fixed that, with an over the stove micro with interchangeable vents to go either outside or back into the kitchen and filters. Of course, it stopped working now as well...

And all my pots, pans, knives, and utensils? I got most of em about 6 years ago when my wife worked at World Kitchen. They gave her all the 'sample' stuff they had from Revereware, Chicago Cutlery, and god only knows who made the rest.

But, it does the trick, and as long as the family keeps giving me thumbs up, I will keep cooking!

 

[kitchenelf]

I guess I'm a foodie. I want my food tasting good, looking good, and presented nicely. But then again, I've cooked professionally. Not for very long but long enough for me to certainly know that it wasn't a passing passion. I love using my knife to mince garlic, evenly cut veggies if necessary (it's not always though), I have a lot of knives but only a few really good ones. The rest are just more challenging to keep sharpened.

When I don't roast my own red peppers for "whatever" I feel extremely guilty. If I make a rueben I even make my own thousand island dressing Am I a foodie or a food snob? I don't know. I just find so much pleasure and satisfaction in preparing my own food. People buy these boxes of pasta side dishes and if they only knew how easy it was to make from scratch and how much healthier it was they would be so surprised.

OK - I got off the path - sorry

 

[ella/TO]

I have to agree with you Kitchenelf. I haven't cooked professionally, but have eaten/dined out enough to appreciate both taste and sight of what is being served to me! I mostly serve French style when I have 1 or 2 other couples to dinner....I find it sooo classy.....LOL....but hey, after almost 81 years....(next week), I guess I can try to be classy.....hahahahaha!

 

[Rob Babcock]

I've cooked professionally most of my life. That makes me pretty hard to please when I eat out at restaurants, but perhaps paradoxically I'm always happy to eat something home cooked. By anyone. Well, anyone except myself! I eat my own cooking plenty. And professional cooking often results in food that's very "cliched" or conventional.

Home cooks on the other hand come up with stuff you're not gonna get served in a restaurant. Like hot dog pizza. Or ketchup sandwiches. The novelty of home cooking has extra charm and appeal to someone immersed in the conventions of cooking professionally.


But I absolutely can't stand dull knives!

 

[jabbur]

Elf, I don't think that makes you a food snob. If you refuse to eat something someone else made with lesser ingredients or point out to them how much better dish x would be if they just did y and add z or boast about how much better your own cooking is, THEN a food snob you shall be. If you do it because you LIKE to and enjoy it but not to IMPRESS everyone that makes you a foodie not a snob IMHO.

 

[ChefJune]

Laugh about your dull knives, if you want, but stats show that you are far more likely to be seriously hurt if you cut yourself with a dull knife than a sharp one. It has to do with pushing into the knife too hard in order to cut with the dull edge.

It's not about being snobby, it's about efficiency. Learning basic knife skills is kinda like learning to drive a car. You wouldn't get behind the wheel without having learned properly, would you?

and believe it or not, Chinese cooks cut their vegetables very evenly. Don't know where whomever mentioned that one got another idea! The use of a cleaver rather than a conventional knife doesn't mean the cuts are haphazard.

 

[Flourgirl]

Okay I'll admit I'm a kitchen snob. The MIL has the WORST kitchen habits and it just kills me to see her cook. I otherwise love the ol' bag, but she needs to step out of the kitchen already!

She cuts her veggies over the pot with one hand and a dull knife. When she does use a cutting board, she uses those glass death-boards you can buy at the grocery store if you really don't want any fingers or to ever have another sharp knife. She believes all sauces and foods should be thin/runny (including chili and mashed potatoes). She actually chastised another DIL for making the mashed potatoes too thick once (they were perfect IMO). She cross contaminates like she wants us all six feet under. Cooked ribs go back on the platter she transported them to the grill with! And she always frosts her cakes while they're still hot and then complains that the recipe for the frosting must have been bad.

Me, on the other hand? I have no bad habits. Ha! Just kidding. I'm a real slob.

Too funny!

My knives are dull and I use boullion cubes.

 

[ChefJune]

Too funny!

My knives are dull and I use boullion cubes.

What's wrong with bouillon cubes? you'd be surprised how many chefs use them! (kinda like box wines...)

 

[Flourgirl]

Good to know.

 

[suziquzie]

Here's why Suzi will never be able to cook professionally.

I cry when someone isn't in love with dinner (ie, DH says pass the salt, I'm upset)

I CANNOT keep food off my shirt, even if I'm not eating!
Otherwise I'd love to try... but those are pretty big ones!

 

[JillBurgh]

What's wrong with bouillon cubes? you'd be surprised how many chefs use them! (kinda like box wines...)

Ah, wine-in-a-box and bouillon cubes. Not so bad. I think I have to confess my horrible guilty pleasure now...

Imitation Crabmeat. I know, I know, but I don't use it in place of real crabmeat. I just like to eat it as a snack for myself. I hide it in the bottom of the crisper drawer under the produce so no one sees it...

 

[Wart]

All FOODIES are welcome. They are of the mind that good food is great food, it's all going the same place anyhow.

Food SNOBS, OTOH, sit at the children's table. No matter how fine something is created they have always had better, and they talk about the perfect this or that. Come to think, do I want to expose children to this behavior?