Guest with specific diet told to bring something they can eat for passover

[letscook]

I would make a dish over the top and enough for all and let everyone rave about your dish and maybe she would think about things and be more considerate another time. I also had a SIL that was from Hell she always had to be the center of attention. Don't let her get to you as I treat them as bullies, you give in to them and then they seem worse. You do what you feel right and if they get mad, they get over it soon, if not they can be miserable on their own. My mom would say " life is short for petty bickering. Knock it off or you don't come to dinner till you can behave"

 

[dragnlaw]

..... maybe she would think about things and be more considerate another time....

I don't think she fits into th category of "think" and "considerate".

 

[HeyItsSara]

I'm surprised that you are actually going to attend. That is super nice of you!

 

[larry_stewart]

I'm surprised that you are actually going to attend. That is super nice of you!

If it were just them, I probably wouldn't, but my parents are going to be there, so I dont want them to miss out on seeing their favorite son

 

[FrankZ]

Just bring a small bowl of porridge and tell all the other guests that is all she would allow you to have.

 

[blissful]

Just bring a small bowl of porridge and tell all the other guests that is all she would allow you to have.

lol

If it were just them, I probably wouldn't, but my parents are going to be there, so I dont want them to miss out on seeing their favorite son

 

[dragnlaw]

ohhh I like the porridge idea!

Larry, if she makes a snide comment or complaint:-

blame it on the internet (meaning us) for helping you out of a "_____" situation. Fill in the blank with which ever word best describes your feelings.

 

[larry_stewart]

ohhh I like the porridge idea!

Larry, if she makes a snide comment or complaint:-

blame it on the internet (meaning us) for helping you out of a "_____" situation. Fill in the blank with which ever word best describes your feelings.

I waas actually thinking you guys were getting me in trouble.

And its not 'IF' she makes a snide comment or complaint, its 'WHEN' she makes it. Sometimes its not what she says, but 'the look' she makes.

Many years ago, when I bought my first house, she was asking us to describe it some of the decoration or furnishings. And as I was describing it, I saw 'the look'. as if she didn't approve. I called her on it then trough her out.

She's the type who thinks her way is the right way and the only way. She is also one of those people who always have to have the 'In' thing or style. She once traded in her car to get a new one, cause having a white car (which she had) was out and having gray one (which she got) was in.

Another time, when she visited our new house for the first time, we gave her a tour, and when we finally got to the kitchen she said " Now this room I like", which to me, is saying that she didnt like anything else. Honestly, I bought the house for me, my wife and kids to like. I couldn't giver a crap on her thoughts or opinions ( even though she feels the need to give her unwelcome opinions all the time). I dont remember If I through her out that time too, or just called her on it and made her cry (or both).

I could go on and on with stories and examples of the type of person she is, but I think you guys got the point. If she wants to spend her life comparing it to someone else and being miserable, thats fine with me. I choose the simpler life being positive, happy and living it for myself, not by the approval of others.

 

[dragnlaw]

I once made a comment, both at separate times, to my sisters. I can't remember what it was that made it come up.

Both times it was on the phone, I said something to the effect of how much that, with the exception of our baby bro, we were all exactly like our father. I made especially sure I included myself in that (cause it's true) and no, it was not a compliment. Well, there was dead silence on the other end of the phone, and suddenly the subject changed.

I was relating this to the second sister, telling her how hysterically funny I found it. There was a second pause but she rallied quickly with a non-commital comment and the subject moved on. This sister, I know, was rolling it over in her mind as to whether or not it was true. I think she realized it was but preferred not to comment.

And I've now remembered the subject. I said we were all control freaks, just as our dear departed father and older brother were.

I now just make a joke when someone starts acting out. As in, "whoops, there she goes again!" and yes, I say it right to their face.... just love getting older and persnickety (about the only thing I enjoy on getting older.

 

[Silversage]

I recently had the reverse problem with a vegan dinner. We invited some new neighbors over for dinner & drinks. They told me they only eat "plant based". I interpreted that as meaning vegan, and felt I could accommodate them. It was all food that I was happy to eat, except I would usually include an animal based protein.

For an hors d'oevres while we were having drinks, bruschetta on toasted crouton, fresh tomato, onion, olives, basil, oil, etc, with a balsamic drizzle.

For dinner, a big (and fancy) salad, with homemade vinaigrette. Homemade semolina pasta (no eggs), with fresh truffle and mushrooms and olive oil - yes, fresh truffle.

For dessert, a poached bosc pear drizzled with a chocolate balsamic vinegar.

I thought I put together a fabulous meal for company with dietary constraints. Fresh truffle! Well, until they arrived, they didn't say that they only drink water. I noticed that one of them wasn't eating any appetizers. When we sat to dinner, she barely picked through the pasta dish. She did seem to enjoy the pear, and by the way, ate the entire bowl of grapes that were sitting on my kitchen counter.

It turns out, she is not only vegan, she eats no grain or oils. Apparently, to her, plant based meant only fruit and vegetables! And of course there was no mention of this when I invited them. But flour to make bread and pasta is a plant! She eats no 'starch'.

We saw them again a couple weeks later, and she was sure to let me know that the olive oil in my pasta and salad gave her diarrhea for 2 days. I apologized.................

Your SIL needs to learn some manners......

 

[dcSaute]

DW came up with a "vegan creamy tomato pasta casserole"
very involved. lots of expensive/fresh ingredients.
half a bowl, the rest went down the disposal.

my experience has been vegan spent an outrageous amount of time&money trying to make twigs, berries and bark taste like a good 'normal' dish.

for vegans - no offense intended/meant - do your thing.
it's just not mine.

 

[dragnlaw]

Silversage - that's also a good lesson for special diet people - she should have specified - you outdid yourself - I don't think you should have been the one to apologize - she should have.

One can hope, but I doubt, she learned a lesson.

 

[GinnyPNW]

Larry, your SIL reminds me a lot of a cousin of mine. In many ways! Just one story to give you an idea...we now live in different States, but, when we were all much younger we lived in the same State. I worked, she was a housewife. While I always got Thanksgiving day off, Christmas Eve was often a work day for me. So it was the tradition that I would do the family Thanksgiving Dinner and she would do the family Christmas Eve Dinner.

Then, one year, she called me a few days before Thanksgiving and said that she and her family (hubby and 3 kids) would not be coming to Thanksgiving dinner. Okay. Then she went on to say that she hoped I would still have her Mom, her brother and his family to Thanksgiving. I said, something like, of course. And she said, oh good, because I'm having friends over for Thanksgiving but she and family would come for Christmas Dinner instead.

This was not a surprise coming from her, but still a shock all the same? Sigh.

 

[blissful]

Silversage - that's also a good lesson for special diet people - she should have specified - you outdid yourself - I don't think you should have been the one to apologize - she should have.

One can hope, but I doubt, she learned a lesson.

I agree, she should have apologized for her poor communication on her special diet. It doesn't even conform to whole food plant based diets (no grain), it is just her particular special wishes/needs. WFPB'ed is not 'no starch', and it is not 'no grain'. She might be trying to do a keto approach or a gluten free approach, who knows?


Silversage, your food sounds delicious.

 

[larry_stewart]

Update:
For those of you keeping score and anticipating my next move, a wrench has been thrown in two my plan.

Sadly, My Niece and Brother got Covid, and now have to cancel the Passover Seder.
Neither has gotten I too bad ( thankfully), but I now get to stay home and dont have to deal with he situation.

The funny thing is, my sister in law ( who as far as I know, has not gotten sick) was complaining how much extra food she now has preparing for the seder . In the worst way, I wanted to say something along the lines of " well its a good thing you didnt have anything planned for me or my family to eat. Just think how much more food you wold have had!" But I chose to be the bigger person. And I hope my brother and niece get well soon and she doesnt contract it herself.

 

[dragnlaw]

Tarnation Larry!

Give me her email address! I'll say it for you!

 

[larry_stewart]

Tarnation Larry!

Give me her email address! I'll say it for you!

Ill take a raincheck on that. She's bound to do something more repulsive in the future.

 

[dragnlaw]

You're a saint... umm/or.. your equivalent?

 

[larry_stewart]

You're a saint... umm/or.. your equivalent?

On the outside, maybe, but I'm a devious self admitted grudge holder.

 

[dragnlaw]

LOL... one of my favourite statements...

You can forgive... but you'll never forget.