How to Cook a Dragon?

The friendliest place on the web for anyone that enjoys cooking.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.

Bitser

Senior Cook
Joined
May 30, 2021
Messages
379
Location
Woods Landing, Wyoming
Just got back from a hunting trip to Middle Earth. Bagged a nice, fat yearling dragon, in prime flesh.

LvXiQE1.jpg


Lanced him in the throat, so I didn't tear up any meat. But here's the rub— searching high and low, I can't find a recipe for dragon, let alone a draconian cookbook. There is a diagram of how to cut one:

JGWmj9p.jpg


But it's based on beef cuts. What about dragon hams? Or neck meat for a monster capicola? Is it a lack of imagination, or of fresh-killed dragons?
 
I know you need to have lots of chiles and onions to cook dragon. Best over an open fire.
 
Just got back from a hunting trip to Middle Earth. Bagged a nice, fat yearling dragon, in prime flesh.

LvXiQE1.jpg


Lanced him in the throat, so I didn't tear up any meat. But here's the rub— searching high and low, I can't find a recipe for dragon, let alone a draconian cookbook. There is a diagram of how to cut one:

JGWmj9p.jpg


But it's based on beef cuts. What about dragon hams? Or neck meat for a monster capicola? Is it a lack of imagination, or of fresh-killed dragons?

Feet, tail, and jowl leap immediately to mind.
Of course, the most powerful muscle in a dragon carcass must be the breast.
And you'd need a pretty big deep fryer for dragon wings.
 
I developed this recipe over 7 years ago and it has never failed to impress. It's been so long I almost forgot I had it.

Chinese Dragon​
Ingredients:

3 ½ to 5 pound boneless dragon loin (see note)
½ tsp salt
¼ tsp ground pepper
½ cup hoisin sauce
¼ cup soy sauce
2 Tbs tomato paste
1 Tbs Chili Garlic sauce
2 Tbs rice vinegar
2 Tbs firmly packed brown sugar
1 Tbs grated ginger
2 tsp five-spice powder
1 small green mango
½ cup crushed pineapple
2 tsp lemon juice
¼ tsp crushed red pepper (optional)
½ small red bell pepper, julienned
4 scallions, thinly sliced
1 cup chopped dry roasted unsalted peanuts

Instructions:

Combine hoisin sauce, soy sauce, tomato paste, chili garlic sauce, rice vinegar, brown sugar, ginger, and five-spice powder in a medium saucepan. Simmer over low heat for 10 minutes then remove the marinade from the heat and allow it to cool.

Trim excess fat from the loin and season it with salt and pepper. Place the loin in a large zipper bag and pour the cooled marinade into the bag, squeeze out any excess air, and zip the bag closed. Place the loin in the refrigerator and allow it to marinate for at least 1 hour, but preferably overnight.

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Place the loin on a rack in a shallow roasting pan and cook for 20 to 30 minutes per pound, until the internal temperature reaches 160°F. Allow the loin to rest for 10 to 15 minutes, covered with foil, before slicing it.

Slice thin and serve garnished with mango, pineapple, scallions, bell pepper, and peanuts.

NOTE: You can substitute pork loin for the dragon, but your guests will know the difference.
 
Last edited:
Sir Loin of Beef!
I have issued an All Out Alert for you to be picked up immediately. Considered armed and dangerous. Be prepared to use force to subdue.

I have also issued a 2nd AOA to all younguns' (aka young guns, lol) to be aware that there are probably going to be hunters looking for their tender loins.

All castles, dens, caves and nests have been put on high alert.
 

Attachments

  • dragonatthegates2b.JPG
    dragonatthegates2b.JPG
    56 KB · Views: 45
WOW!

for some reason this Thread went immediately to SLOB post! Only just saw the others!

OK then, a new List has been established...

5 Most Wanted

Bitser
Princess
(you've broken my heart!
how many times have I protected you from the evil knight!)
skilletlicker
pepperhead212
Sir Loin of Beef
 
All dragonettes have been warned to check with me first before aiding humans in trouble - it might be a trap!
 

Attachments

  • aww, I'm sorry.jpg
    aww, I'm sorry.jpg
    20.3 KB · Views: 69
  • sneezing.GIF
    sneezing.GIF
    43.9 KB · Views: 78
ROFL!! My sword has never touched a dragon. Evil knights, yes! I have a few Dragonettes vouching for my sincerity. They are so nice for checking in on me.
 
OK,

I'll give you a reprieve if you swear that your comments about 'chiles, onions and open fire' are from hearsay only!
 
oh dear, well, I guess I'll have to add to the conditions of your reprieve.

If you also solemnly swear to never eat dragon meat at the castle table again. How you get around it is your problem and although I don't want you to get in trouble with your dad, those towers can be chilly, but...

And you also have to swear you never saw anyone/thing singeing the seat out of all his pants. Or why the cooks can't seem to be able to sit down. Or why their fires seem to flare up and char everything. Or how some of the spears and lances got burnt thru in many places.
.
.
.
.

list to be continued as I think of them...
 
Sir Loin of Beef!
I have issued an All Out Alert for you to be picked up immediately. Considered armed and dangerous. Be prepared to use force to subdue.
Stop dragon my heart around! (apologies to Keith Urban and Carrie Underwood if you're a little bit country, or Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty if you're a little bit rock 'n' roll)

You know, I can not for the life of me remember what prompted me to create that recipe. It will come to me, eventually.
 
Last edited:
I had a can of genuine barking spider eggs at one time:ohmy:.
In San Diego, barking spiders were the same thing as Buck Snorts in U.P. Michigan deer camps, i.e. stinky, noisy, and comical only to certain men. A friend gave me a can of pork & beans, labeled as Barking Spider Eggs.
It was humorous at the time (40 years or so back):LOL:


Seeeeeya; Chief Longwind of the North
 
Bitser, you may think it was hail that is about to break the glass (or plexiglass) in your garden houses - but you will discover it is really dragon poop. :sick::sick::-p

:D:D:D
 
Somehow, I think a few people missed Dragnlaw's tagline.

"Meddle not in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup."

I'm not so sure about the ketchup, but the rest ... yeah.

Ciao,
Taxlady, aka TaxDragon / DragonTaxes
 
Back
Top Bottom