"I do not share my recipes with anyone."

[CharlieD]

Well, it is not my line. I had some sweets, made by this woman, the other day and found them to be excellent so I asked her for the recipe. "NO, she says, no, I do not share my recipes with anyone. I give people recipe and they ruin it. No, I’m not going to do that anymore." No matter what I tried to do, how I explained to her that I’m a pretty decent chef my self and will make sure to fallow the recipe exactly and that the foods will taste as good as the original or I won’t serve them to anybody. My affords went to no avail. I just hate that. The stuff was so good, darn. What is wrong with people? She is not the first person I hear that. For me it is ridicules. I’m glad to share my recipes, I love when somebody says that they made some of my foods.

 

[BlueCat]

Sounds like this one thinks a great deal of herself. She's been complimented before and she wants to make sure no one steals her thunder. There are plenty of recipes for good sweets out there. I wouldn't worry about this one at all. Not worth it.

BC

 

[buckytom]

my mil was like that charlie. i remember a few easters back, she made a coupla fantastic dishes (clear borscht, veal stew, butter and onion pierogi) so i asked her for the recipes and tips. she said no, so i thought it might be a tradition thing, so i asked her to teach my wife how to make them. she refused again. in time, i gathered that she had worked so hard perfecting her cooking, and that it was what made her special, so she didn't want anyone to copy her. then she wouldn't be so special, and wouldn't have something to give.

now we miss her terribly,(she passed away last year) and are beginning to try to figure out just what she did that made her dishes so great. we made her grated beets and horseradish, but it wasn't the same. i wish she had taught us, so we could remember her when we made them, and pass it on to our child(ren).

 

[PA Baker]

Blue and Bucky are right, Charlie! I'd be irritated, too, but if you really want to get her just make it your personal challenge to recreate those recipes as well as she made them and then share your creations with her!

 

[BlueCat]

Now that is sad buckytom. In this case it was a family recipe, and had she shared it, it would have lived on (with her name attached, btw) for possibly generations. This way, you miss it, but in the future no one will know a thing about what a great cook she was. It might have made her feel special in the short run, but she could have been special forever had she shared.

BC

 

[Raine]

Or tell her Bucky's story, and tell her you would like to keep her memory alive after she is gone, by continuing to share her great dishes!

 

[buckytom]

be careful not to sound like you're rushing her to the grave tho...

 

[In the Kitchen]

copying recipe

This would leave a bitter taste in my mouth, if I knew someone resented sharing anything with me. It affects me the same way with asking someone to help in doing things. Being selfish in life only comes back ten times more. What goes round comes round. Just consider her being so inconsiderate that in time people will resent her too. Sorry but this is how life treats us. Golden rule holds true. Hope she learns before life starts reacting. Forget it! Not worth it!

 

[Barbara L]

I have never understood this either. I have known of people who wouldn't even share their recipes with their own children until they (the parent, not the kids!) died (IF then). A friend of mine makes the best candy apples I have ever tasted. She won't share the recipe with anyone either. Her health is not great and she doesn't make them anymore. I finally came right and told her (she is the kind of person I CAN say this to, or I wouldn't have!), "I want that candy apple recipe before you croak!" She just laughs and keeps it her little secret. I won't die without her recipe, and if it makes her feel better to know that no one will ever know it, that's fine, but I just think it is silly.

Barbara

 

[crewsk]

That bugs the hound out of me when people say that! I have a totally diffrent problem though. I can't get my grandma's recipes because she always cooked by memory & never wrote anything down. Now her memory is going & she dosen't cook anymore. She has tried to teach me how to make her biscuits & cornbread but I have trouble following her because very little is measured & I would have to have her drinking cups for the things that are measured.

 

[Barbara L]

Crewsk,

As far as the cups go, could you get ahold of her cups to check how much they hold? I think most regular cups hold about 3/4 cup, but it should be a simple matter of measuring something in them and transferring it to a measuring cup. For the rest of it, you will just have to watch her and write down how much it looks like. Then compare the measurements you have written down with a few other similar recipes to see if they are close. I was very fortunate. When I moved to South Carolina, every few weeks I would ask my mom for a recipe or two that were my favorites. I got most of my favorites before she (unexpectedly) died. When I get back home (no telling how soon that will be--no money), I want to go through her cookbooks and files to find any more. My daughter has found a few of them for me. I wish I could just have all the cookbooks (except for the few that my daughter uses), but my dad is not willing to let go of anything that was my mom's yet, so I haven't even asked.

Barbara

 

[choclatechef]

I was selling my baked goods, and if everyone had the recipes, my sales would go down. So I did not share them.

Does that make me a bad girl?

 

[htc]

Maybe she secretly aspires to sell her recipe some day? I know I don't give anyone my mom's recipe for bao flour because of that. Though I know it's far fetched, you never know...most other recipes, I'm happy to share. There are just a few that I would like to keep in hopes that one day I can do something with them. Hopefully that doesn't sound too greedy.

 

[crewsk]

Barbara, I can get ahold of her cups to do that. The main problem is now she dosen't cook anymore. I wish I had have had the forethought of asking her to teach me when I was growing up.

 

[pdswife]

I always share recipes... And I always ask for a recipe when I taste something wonderful.
I'm always so surprised when I'm told "no". I just don't understand.

Crewsk.. I have the same trouble with my MIL. She used to be such a good cook. Never measured anything just threw it all together and it'd come out perfect. As she gets older her cooking is starting to suffer. I sure wish I'd paid more attention when she was "one of the best cooks" I'd ever met.

 

[PA Baker]

I was selling my baked goods, and if everyone had the recipes, my sales would go down. So I did not share them.

Does that make me a bad girl?

I don't think so, choc--either that or we're both bad! I'll share pretty much any recipe but won't give out my cut-out dough and icing recipes since those are the ones I've been selling some of lately. Once I explain why, people don't seem offended by it.

 

[pdswife]

I don't think so, choc--either that or we're both bad! I'll share pretty much any recipe but won't give out my cut-out dough and icing recipes since those are the ones I've been selling some of lately. Once I explain why, people don't seem offended by it.

Nope.. if you have a good reason such as making a living off of your recipes then it's fine to say NO. It's the everyday cooks that bring a casserol to the neighborhood potluck that I don't understand.

 

[choclatechef]

Thanks guys.

I felt real bad at times cause some folks would get sooooo mad! I had some relatives badgering me to death.

I still sell baked goods for the church's sales sometimes. But my recipes will not be lost. I have them on my old cookbook laptop, so if something happens to me, my family can access them.

 

[buckytom]

when one of my favorite restaurants in nyc was closing a few years ago (due to the passing of the owner, a great guy and good friend), i went there on the last night to bid on some of the knick knacks and other curiosities that they were selling off, and to enjoy one last great meal. at the end of the night, the chef came out to have a few with the remaining regular customers, and we began to chat about a few of his recipes.my favorite dish was the marinated grilled pork chops. over the years, i had hung out with the owner bs-ing about food and life in general, and he had given me several of the secret ingredients in the marinade, but never the whole recipe. i wrote down what i remembered, and tried to make it at home, but never really nailed it.
well, on the last night, after we were all lubed up and laughing, a buddy and i asked the chef for the recipe. he refused to give it out. so, knowing that the chef was retiring (on his inheritance from the owner of the restaurant) instead of going to another restaurant, i offered him a small bribe, or retirement "present", if he would just fill in the gaps of my recipe. steadfast in his loyalty, he refused us again and again. we got up to about 5 or 6 hundred dollars before we realized that he would never give in, so we wished him well (cursing him under our breath ), and gave up.
a few months ago, i ran into an old girlfriend, who was a bartender in the restaurant, and she told me that she knew the recipe, since it contained black rum and sweet sherry, and the chef always came to her to help him make the marinade. we were both in a hurry, so we just promised to get together for a few one night, and she would finally fulfill my culinary curiosity.
now i have a problem; i would almost kill to get this recipe, but i don't think my wife would appreciate me going out for drinks with a beautiful brazillian bartender, even if my intentions were pristine and purely innocent.
i guess i'll just have to wait some more....

 

[choclatechef]

now i have a problem; i would almost kill to get this recipe, but i don't think my wife would appreciate me going out for drinks with a beautiful brazillian bartender, even if my intentions were pristine and purely innocent.
i guess i'll just have to wait some more....

Easy answer!

Tell your wife you want the recipe from this beautiful lady. Ask her if she will go along with you to the bar, or failing that, pick you up from the bar.