My dad has passed away

The friendliest place on the web for anyone that enjoys cooking.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.

Rob Babcock

Head Chef
Joined
Dec 23, 2004
Messages
1,337
Location
Big Sky Country
I'm sad to say that my dad passed away this morning. His health had been deteriorating the last couple years and the last one was especially bad. It appeared that maybe there was a crack in the clouds but on Monday he was admitted to the ER with a high fever. It appears that he may have developed pneumonia. In the course of treatment his heart stopped twice. His very dedicated doctors & nurses revived him but after years of fighting his body just couldn't take any more; his kidneys had completely failed and his heart, already weakened from a heart attack and congestive heart failure, just couldn't bear the strain of dialysis any longer. With no viable medical options and no chance of a decent quality of life, we were forced to conclude that we loved him too much to put him through any more suffering.

My only consolation is that there was time to gather the entire family to his bedside. He passed quietly in his sleep, surrounded by his loving wife of 43 years, three adoring children, his brother and his wife & many grandkids & nephews. He was ready to go, he just didn't want to go alone. And he didn't.

Dad wasn't much of a cook (depending on if you asked him or us:wacko:) but he was a life-long sportsman. He was a fanatical fishermen, expert handloader and crack marksmen. He was also an expert sharpener; I think his knife collection (which I will sort thru) contains over 200 very fine blades. Dad forgot more about hunting, fishing and general woods-lore than most people will ever know. His skin was weathered brown like old leather, and a roof never seemed to suit him. He always felt he was born a century too late. He felt the call of nature deep down in his bones. I sorely wish he could have breathed his last under a canopy of stars or knee-deep in a mountain stream holding a fly rod instead of in a hospital bed.

No man that knew him ever had a truer friend and no son or daughter ever had a better father.

The pain is fresh and his loss will no doubt only grow more acute as it sinks in. I was never much for faith, but Dad was. If it's your way I humbly ask for your prayers for him. Please keep him in your thoughts. I know that he's not really gone; his essence will be with me and those who loved him, for as long as we live. I think I finally get that now.

I will close by offering a favorite poem up to Dad. Don't worry, Dad. I won't stand by your grave and weep. You're not in there, you're in my heart.

_________________________ _________________________ ___

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die



_________________________ _________________________ ___
 

buckytom

Chef Extraordinaire
Joined
Aug 19, 2004
Messages
21,933
Location
My mountain
oh, i'm truely sorry for your loss, rob. that was beautiful what you wrote about him.

he really must have been a great man to have raised such a caring son.

i will say my rosary for him this morning, that he is seated at god's side, knowing how much he was loved.
 

Uncle Bob

Chef Extraordinaire
Joined
Nov 5, 2006
Messages
17,551
Location
Small Town Mississippi
Sorry to hear of your loss Rob....I know the pain of your loss is numbing ~~ Try to grab hold of just a small bit of the faith that your dad had...Now and in the days to come it will give you a peace and calm that passes all understanding....God bless you and your family during this time....
 

Silversage

Head Chef
Joined
Aug 31, 2004
Messages
1,322
Location
Florida
Rob, the memories don't fade, but over time, the pain does.

Thoughts and hugs your way....
 

GB

Chief Eating Officer
Joined
Jul 14, 2004
Messages
25,510
Location
USA,Massachusetts
I am so sorry Rob! He was a great man. I did not know him, but the evidence is in the son he raised.
 

ChefJune

Master Chef
Joined
Jul 16, 2006
Messages
8,763
Location
Metro New York
So sorry for your loss, Rob. and what a sweet story you told of him. Hold those memories close as you give yourself both permission and time to mourn. (It isn't over in a week.)

As time goes by, I think you will find him on your shoulder whenever you're facing a challenging situation. He will, as always, be urging you on to success.

Sending you hugs, and will remember him, you and your family in my prayers.

jj
 

Andy M.

Certified Pretend Chef
Joined
Sep 1, 2004
Messages
49,800
Location
Massachusetts
I am deeply sorry for your loss, Rob. Thank you for sharing a little bit about him. In the times to come thoughts of your dad will bring a smile to your face and a warmth to your heart.

Our thoughts are with you.
 

Alix

Everymom
Moderator Emeritus
Joined
May 10, 2002
Messages
23,275
Location
Edmonton, Alberta
Your Dad sounds like a pretty amazing man Rob. Losing a father hurts so much, I'm so sorry. I said a prayer this morning for you before posting. I just want you to know that whenever you feel like you want to share more about your Dad we'd love to hear about him.
 

spork

Head Chef
Joined
May 27, 2009
Messages
1,135
Location
Landlocked in Southwest U.S.
My condolence, Rob, I believe I would've enjoyed his company on a stream or across a campfire. Take care.

I know the melody for the lyrics you posted. No doubt it will pop into my head now unbidden throughout the day, and next. I will think of you and your family when it does.
 

vitauta

Executive Chef
Joined
May 19, 2011
Messages
4,428
Location
va by way of upstate ny
i'm sorry to hear about the passing away of your dad. from your loving and eloquent eulogy we get a sense of a devoted and loving family man who enjoyed a harmonious unity with nature as well. i'm sure his passing causes a painful sense of loss in you, and i am very sorry for your suffering. the best dad's never get to live long enough. they do however, leave behind the very best essences of themselves in their beloved sons with which to carry on. your dad will continue to live on in your heart, as you said, and so long as that memory of the heart endures, your dad will never leave you in the only way that has ever really mattered. peace be with you and yours during these difficult times.
 

Dawgluver

Chef Extraordinaire
Joined
Apr 12, 2011
Messages
25,032
So sorry to hear of your dad's passing. My deepest sympathies. What beautiful words you wrote.
 

kadesma

Chef Extraordinaire
Moderator Emeritus
Joined
Sep 30, 2004
Messages
21,366
Location
california
Rob the pain will fade and peace will comfort you in your time of sorrow. Hold all the dear memories close to you and remember to hope and believe.
kadesma.
 

Latest posts

Top Bottom