Petty Vents II

[Andy M.]

Casey, I can't imagine how that conversation made you feel. It's truly painful to watch this happening to a loved one.

A couple of years ago my older sister was in that position. She kept asking why her husband didn't come to visit her when he had died 5 years earlier.

 

[caseydog]

My sister is booked on a cruise in about ten days. I told her, "Do not cancel that cruise."

I am gong down to Houston while my sister is on that cruise. I can, and have no problem with having a face-to-face conversation with my mom.

CD

There is a tropical storm brewing in the Caribbean. I keep telling my sister that it is going to miss your cruise path, and if not, the cruise line will make adjustments. She basically agrees, but she blurted out today "It's in god's hands." That was a subtle below-the-belt poke at me, LOL, but I blew it off. It did immediately remind me of something that one of my personal heroes said, "The only people who still call hurricanes “acts of God” are the people who write insurance forms." Neil DeGrasse Tyson

My sister needs to go on that cruise... for her sanity and MINE. I have heard the words, "You need to call mom," a lot lately, and I do it, but it doesn't change anything.

If she cancels that cruise, I'm seriously considering canceling my trip to Houston next week. I already have to spend Thanksgiving with the two of them, and as much as I love them, they are really starting to wear me out. I have become a referee between the two of them.

CD

 

[caseydog]

Casey, I can't imagine how that conversation made you feel. It's truly painful to watch this happening to a loved one.

My mom's mental health has declined a lot. I guarantee she doesn't remember anything ugly she said to me. My sister takes it way more personally than I do. I have a healthy amount of "don't give a $#-T" built into me.

She does seem to have an on-and-off grasp that my dad is dead. I finally talked my sister into putting the very nice mahogany box with my dad's ashes in my mom's apartment, and that has helped a lot. When she asks where dad is, or when he's coming home, we can now tell her to look at that box, and she know's what/who it is. It doesn't make her sad. In a way, it gives her some peace.

It does hurt to see my mom suffer this confusion and frustration, but I realize there is absolutely nothing I can do to fix it. Being a lifelong smarta$$, the best I can do is try and make her laugh as often as possible.

CD

 

[dragnlaw]

<<HUGS>>

 

[GinnyPNW]

PART 2: (follows: Part 1)
A few months back, we had to cut a camping trip short. From the beach to the ER and a week in the hospital. No fun! Long story short, I ended up with a hole in my side and a new way to dispose of food I no longer need. To say the least, it is inconvenient. Even all these months later, it still brings pain and discomfort, most days. Today was no exception. One the one hand, the doctor says I should not have pain, “this long after surgery.” In the next breath he says, “you’ll never be pain-free.” Wha? Which one is it? Sigh.

When cooking or just eating, I need to keep the “stoma” (aka: the hole in my side) in mind. Mushrooms are a no-no. They can cause a blockage…and the very last thing one wants is a blockage in the little, tiny hole that allows poop to exit and deposit in the bag hanging on one’s side. Trust me! You don’t want to experience that even once!

I wasn’t sure where to post this. It isn’t a “sick room” thing, at this point…and yet, it isn’t a “petty” vent either! Forgive me…if I posted in the wrong spot or don’t post often, these days. Or any other mis-step, mea culpa.

 

[Kathleen]

CD, it is so hard to watch your parent decline, and to overlook some of the mean things they can say. Just keep in mind the love they had when they were well.

Ginny, this is a perfectly good place to post. It is most definitely vent worthy. I would have totally asked the doctor which it was. In fact, I'd be on that "patient portal" right now asking it!