Sometimes I feel like people on social media just wanna be cruel. (Story time/Am I the a-hole?)

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BAPyessir6

Senior Cook
Joined
May 15, 2020
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285
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Prior Lake
This is kind of an "am I the a-hole" situation. Was I out of line by what I said?

The short of it is I sometimes feel that, when I'm in certain places online, many opinions/experiences are actively devalued even if they're relevant. This is frustrating to me, as I sometimes struggle with valuing my own opinions.
Maybe I just shouldn't go to those places. Or be more careful in what I say?

Now for the story! (This will include people telling others to k*ll themselves and lots of swearing, so if anyone doesn't wanna read that, just be warned).

A girl posted on a (kids) site (this kids site is mostly adults now, so it's lax on what can be said and not said) I frequent, and the story there was this:
I was at the beach with my boyfriend, and I asked him why it's okay for guys to walk around shirtless but not women. He said he didn't know, so I (a female) proceeded to prove a point by taking my bikini off (while on the beach, there were maybe 50 people there) and trying to flash people. He flipped out, called me some horrible names, and we broke up.

Everyone who commented after said how horrible he was for calling her names, "rules for me and not thee" etc.

So I commented, and I quote "Yeah, the things he called you (I listed them in the actual comment, but as I am unsure what I'm allowed to say here, I'll just say a B word, a C word, etc) are totally not okay and very very cruel. I understand why you broke up with him. That being said, I myself would never expose/take my shirt off in public, as I've had men stalk and follow me around when I was 13 in a one piece swimsuit. (My mother had to scream at them to stop following me at a public pool). I feel like creeps are far too common unfortunately, and I would worry that flashing people in public could encourage things like ogling and stalking."

Then the replies rolled in. (Directly taken from the site). "Shut up. This isn't about you; you're being so hurtful and unkind."

"Here comes the police to tell her what to do. You're worse than her boyfriend."

"Who gives a d-mn about your opinion? Go f&-k yourself."

"People like you should just k$_l yourselves. Or at least jump off a very tall building."

I honestly didn't think I was telling her what to do, or that I was being that. . .unkind? I don't know. I don't think I even gave an opinion on whether or not flashing people in public was okay. I was just trying to give my personal experience and thoughts on the matter.

Their responses kind of made me sad though. What do you guys think?
 
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With the anonymity of the internet people feel free to act like hurtful, loudmouth jerks. A disagreement is an excuse for an attack, not a discussion. Consider how these people have been acting and you'll realize they don't deserve consideration.
 
I don't think you were out of line, no.
Moderation and administration of a site is there to keep the peace and expel the common trolls.
Some groups you can share your feelings and thoughts, some groups you can't. It's up to you to decide how much bad behavior you're willing to put up with.
I agree with calling his name calling insults as very very cruel.
 
I don't think what that you were the a-hole. I think the crew attacking you were the a-holes. Even, if they thought that your post was centring you, the response was mean and uncalled for. You don't desserve to have stuff like that said about or to you. If that is considered acceptable behaviour on that site, then I would avoid it.
 
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