Things to say to a telemarketer

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nicole

Washing Up
Joined
Feb 15, 2005
Messages
503
Location
usa
If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . "

Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "OH MY GOD!" and then hang up.

Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.
 

GB

Chief Eating Officer
Joined
Jul 14, 2004
Messages
25,510
Location
USA,Massachusetts
I know that this post is meant as a joke. Some people take these suggestions seriously though. For those people, please remember that telemarketers are people too. They are someones son or daughter, mother or father, etc. They are not all scams and they are not all rude. Yes they call during dinner, but it is always someones dinnertime. Dinner is no longer just at 6:30pm. Some people eat at 4:30 and others at 11:eek:o. Many times these telemarketers are offering something that actually might help you are even save you tons of money. Please treat them as you would want to be treated. If you do not want to talk to them then let them know if a polite way and ask then to take you off the list and then hang up. Better yet, sign up for the national do not call list. If someone rang your doorbell you would never treat them the way most people treat telemarketers. Just something to think about.

signed a previous honest, polite, helpful telemarketer

(OK I am off my soapbox)
 

sarah

Head Chef
Joined
Oct 24, 2004
Messages
1,161
nicole said:
If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . "

Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "OH MY GOD!" and then hang up.

Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.
hehe,how funny :D ,do u actually do that??? :shock:
 

nicole

Washing Up
Joined
Feb 15, 2005
Messages
503
Location
usa
I would never have the courage to say somehting like that to some one. My friend sent me that this morning. I hope no one is offended. Im on the DO NOT CALL LIST.
 

sarah

Head Chef
Joined
Oct 24, 2004
Messages
1,161
how do u do that? i wanna be on 'do not call list" too.
 

GB

Chief Eating Officer
Joined
Jul 14, 2004
Messages
25,510
Location
USA,Massachusetts
Just for the record, I do find Nicoles post funny and long as it is taken the way she intended (as a joke). It is when people put these suggestions into practice that I stop finding it so funny. Sorry if I came across as a stuffed shirt ;)
 

middie

Chef Extraordinaire
Joined
Aug 31, 2004
Messages
16,261
Location
Cleveland,Ohio USA
i'll never forget the time one of them called my cousin house trying to sell him windows. i think it was buy 2 windows get one free or something like that. my cousin kept saying "no that's okay i just want the free windows".
so the telemarketer would explain it again. everytime he did this my cousin would repeat he just wanted the free windows. i think they went back and forht 3 or 4 times before the guy hung up on my cousin lol
 

norgeskog

Washing Up
Joined
Aug 28, 2004
Messages
3,615
Location
Eugene, Oregon
I have not had a telemarketer call since I got my cell, but lately I have calls with caller ID blocked, a really strange number 999-999-9999 and odd area codes and I do not answer any of them. In fact I do not answer the phone unless I know who it is. When I was tethered to the wall with a land line, I would tell the telemarketeer that I was busy and asked them for their home number to call them back at a more opportune time. They just stutter and stammer, and say they cannot do that, I say, you have my home phone and I did not give it to you, so it is only fair you give me yours, then they hang up.
 

AllenOK

Executive Chef
Joined
Aug 25, 2004
Messages
3,463
Location
USA, Oklahoma
I'm polite with the telemarketers, what few do manage to sneak through. I've signed up on the Do Not Call list, so I don't get many. When someone does call, it's usually from the cable company or phone company wanting me to upgrade my service. Sometimes I agree, sometimes I don't. Other telemarketers, once I realize that they're trying to sell me something, get a "May I ask what this call is regarding". When they tell what it is, I'll either decline, or ask for more info.

I actually had a telemarketer call me last week, and asked how I was doing. I truthfully explained that I was rather busy preparing supper for my family. They said they would call back at a later time and date.

I have a document on my desktop pc that I got off of Netscape, titled "Twenty things to say to Telemarketers". If anyone wants it, pm me and I'll send it to you.
 

htc

Head Chef
Joined
Sep 8, 2004
Messages
1,302
Location
USA,Oregon
When telemarketers call me, I ask them to send me 50 bucks for my time or else I wont talk to them. I'm really polite when I ask for the $$ but a lot of times I get a "sorry, can't do that" or "that's not the way it works".

This and being on the do not call list seems to have put me on the telemarketer black list. :LOL:
 

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