Today's Funny

[Phaedra]

A man has been out fishing by the lake all day but hasn't caught anything. He decides to just give up and call it a day, but on his way he notices an old man fishing but a few feet away from him. The man immediately notices the other fisherman has several buckets full of fish, then witnesses him reeling in yet another one.

“Excuse me, sir”, the man says, “I’ve never been able to catch much of anything around here. I’ve got to ask, what’s your secret?”

The old man pauses for a moment, then mumbles “hmmm mmmph mmm mmph mmm hmm mmmph”.

“I’m sorry, could you say that again?”

The man repeats, a little louder this time, “hmmm mmmph mmm mmph mmm hmm mmmph!”

“I-I still didn’t quite get that, sorry”

Finally, the old man picks up a plastic cup, spits a mouthful of live worms into it, and yells “Ya gotta keep your worms warm!”.

 

[Phaedra]

 

[Phaedra]

How to tell you're really old according to little kids:

Old people have melty faces, so they just pretty much stay home with their dogs. Sydney E, age 5

Old people are crabby, and snore when they sleep. Some old ladies just wear pajamas all day. But old grampas have to wear underwear and stay in the bedroom - they're not allowed in the living room - Jennifer, age 3

Did you know that old people can get even older than dogs and cats? That's probably why they scream when they look in the mirror - Lynn, age 4

I only know a little bit about old people. I know they have a yard sale and sell all their stuff, and then a dump truck comes and puts them in it and takes them to heaven. And that's it - Delaney W, age 3

Some old people go to heaven. All the other ones go to Canada - Matthew, age 4

Really old people look tired and like to visit graveyards. But they have to be careful because if they fall asleep there, they will get dead too - Michelle, age 5

Old people get bent, and then they die - Matt, age 4

All I know is old people get mad at you if you bite them - Mikey, age 3

Grown ups are old. So are mothers. They usually eat just dinner - and nothing else. They laugh and pretend they are funny like me, but they're not. To have fun they go play with their old people friends - like dinosaurs Sophia M, age 3

 

[Phaedra]

 

[dragnlaw]

 

[Phaedra]

 

[Phaedra]

 

[Phaedra]

When I took my dog shopping with me...

I pulled into the crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure my dog had fresh air. She was stretched out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there.

I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, “Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay!”

The driver of a nearby car gave me a startled look.

“I don’t know about you, lady,” he said incredulously. “But I usually just put my car in park.”

 

[dragnlaw]

Nothing is funnier than the real thing Phaedra! That's exactly what happened to my father. They were in a motor home in need of attention. My father parked and went in to see when they could have some help. Answer was "bring it in right now and we'll take a look at it". Dad went outside and seeing Mom in the drivers seat emphatically started waving for her to bring it in. A man between the motor home and my dad casually walked over to him and said... "I don't know where your from but here, dog's are not allowed to drive vehicles." Mom had gone into the back and one of their Weinmaraner' had climbed into the drivers seat.

 

[Phaedra]

 

[Phaedra]

 

[dragnlaw]

That is so funny Phaedra! Have a gal pal does agility, well, her dog does, not her. Although that might be the look on her face should she have to go over the jump.

 

[Phaedra]

A friend from a canine forum used to do agility, and many years ago when looking for another dog to train, she went round shelters looking for a young Border Collie. Went home with a four-month old Beagle instead, who took to agility as if he was born to do it.

Somehow I can't see my little dog being trained to do anything like that - her idea of training is to get me to do what she wants, not do what I want!

 

[dragnlaw]

Friend said that there was a Beagle in her classes once. He was gung-ho but she didn't say how accurate LOL

 

[Kaneohegirlinaz]

 

[Phaedra]

 

[taxlady]

Reminds me of this (2minutes and 44 seconds long):

 

[Phaedra]

 

[Phaedra]

 

[Cooking Goddess]

Surprise! As in Surprise, Arizona.

Propper cropping/editing of photographs is an important skill...