My mom combined what a couple of you said and it seemed to work (not completely, but some). She brought the beans to a boil with baking soda in the water. Then she drained and rinsed them and let them soak. I haven't tried it because I forget when the time comes. Nothing works perfectly. As someone else said, eating them more regularly helps lessen the gas. I can't remember the show I was watching, but the show's hostess said to eat them 3 or 4 times a week.
As for burritos not causing problems, my husband's and my unintentional "gas wars"
some nights are proof that refried beans are just as guilty!