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Old 10-21-2005, 11:04 AM   #1
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Smile Actual Ads - A little Friday Humor

THESE ARE ACTUAL NEWSPAPER ADS!

1.) FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites

2.) FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

3.) FREE PUPPIES... Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog.

4.) FREE GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German.

5.) FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat ... been out awhile. Better be a reward.

6.) COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED...Also 1 gay bull for sale.

7.) NORDIC TRACK: $300 hardly used, call Chubby.

8.) GEORGIA PEACHES, California grown - 89 cents lb.

9.) JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300.

10.) WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE. Call Stephanie.

AND THE BEST ONE...

11.) FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica - 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married last month. wife knows everything.

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Old 10-21-2005, 11:09 AM   #2
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I have also seen this...(dang... I can't remember the source)

Free to good home: A friendly Rottweiler. Eats everything. Especially Loves children
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Old 10-21-2005, 11:55 AM   #3
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lmbo gb thanks i like those !!!!
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Old 10-21-2005, 12:39 PM   #4
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Those are great, GB!
Although, I did have a German Shepherd once, and he did speak only German! He'd been trained that way - we had to speak his language! I remember "sitz" and "plotz" (no clue on the spelling) but I can't remember any more of his commands.
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Old 10-21-2005, 12:48 PM   #5
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That is so funny Jkath!
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Old 10-21-2005, 01:25 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jkath
Those are great, GB!
Although, I did have a German Shepherd once, and he did speak only German! He'd been trained that way - we had to speak his language! I remember "sitz" and "plotz" (no clue on the spelling) but I can't remember any more of his commands.
sitz, platz, bei fuss, warte, hol, etc. ;o)
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Old 10-21-2005, 08:42 PM   #7
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I saw one on Freecycle just the other day:

Offer: 486 Tower fully functioning. Please come and get this out of my house before I divorce my husband.
Thank you for saving my marriage.




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Old 10-21-2005, 09:13 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cara
sitz, platz, bei fuss, warte, hol, etc. ;o)
Exactly! Thanks Cara!
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Old 10-24-2005, 08:58 AM   #9
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German speaking dogs are made for the RCMPs up here.....their commands are that way so the crooks can't take over...over something er other....Who would have time to talk to the dog while he's chewing your arm off anyways!
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Old 10-24-2005, 11:55 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tancowgirl2000
German speaking dogs ....

I can't believe your dogs over there actually speak german...
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