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Old 02-10-2016, 08:22 PM   #21
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She is so very special! Thank you very much, Addie!

I spoke to Carl today, and we talked of how it is so frightening to be parents. Joyce said something very funny! She said, "Oh, you get over it. After teaching her to walk and talk, for the next 15 years, you'll be yelling at her to sit down and hush up!"

Mamma agreed! Ha! I do remember Mamma and Papa telling me to sit down and hush up! Perhaps it was for only 10 years, yes?

Love,
~Cat
Cat, no parent knows anything about what they are doing when they first become parents. And just when they think they are finally getting a handle on being a parent, the kid gets married and leaves home. Being a good parent comes from the heart. Your heart will tell you if it is the right thing to do or not. And if Anna throws a tizzy fit, then you know it is the right thing to do. But not matter. She will always love you.

The funny thing about kids is no matter how mean or even abusive a parent is, the child still loves them. And trust me, there will be times when your daughter will yell at you, "I hate you. You are just trying to ruin my life." But don't be surprised if she comes to you in just a few minutes with a big hug and an apology. Kids never stop loving their parents. Even when they are mean and won't let them play in traffic.
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Old 02-10-2016, 09:02 PM   #22
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Cat, no parent knows anything about what they are doing when they first become parents. And just when they think they are finally getting a handle on being a parent, the kid gets married and leaves home. Being a good parent comes from the heart. Your heart will tell you if it is the right thing to do or not. And if Anna throws a tizzy fit, then you know it is the right thing to do. But not matter. She will always love you.

The funny thing about kids is no matter how mean or even abusive a parent is, the child still loves them. And trust me, there will be times when your daughter will yell at you, "I hate you. You are just trying to ruin my life." But don't be surprised if she comes to you in just a few minutes with a big hug and an apology. Kids never stop loving their parents. Even when they are mean and won't let them play in traffic.
Oh these words are so very, very true! I was very scared at first with Anna. I was afraid I may drop her, or feeding her improperly to make her choke, or something awful. Mamma said this was normal, yes?

When Anna was fitted of her new leg, she fell often when she tried to learn to walk. I was very horrified, but Mamma said, "No, Cat. Let her get up of her own. She isn't hurt."

And Mamma was right! Oh it was terrifying to see her fall! But she never cried. She just crawled over to a piece of furniture or a bookcase to help herself get up. Then she would try again, fall, and of much over and over until she learned. Mamma said that was of the right thing to do, as I had learned to walk in the same way. I was never hurt, either. So it is well to do this!

Yes, I have heard of abusive parents. This is a terrible thing. We will perhaps be strict of Anna, but not abusive. Mamma Gloria was very strict with Carl as my parents were strict of me also. Children must learn for actions there are consequences, be they bad or good, and they must learn of making good choices very early. Papa always says, "A house without a strong foundation will never stand." This goes to marriage and children also, yes?

I listen to my olders very closely. They do know so much more of life. It is very shameful of my former classmates to not listen to their parents and olders of the family.

I feel sorry of them.

Love,
~Cat
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Old 02-11-2016, 11:19 AM   #23
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Dear Cat, it's wonderful to read your "journey" traveling the road of marriage and parenthood. It's a wonderful adventure and will be filled full of all kinds of twists and turns and hills and valleys. Many travel that road and make their way with only small detours. Others find the path difficult and, sometimes, impossible.

I was very young when I married the first time, just turned 19. I married a widower with a 4-year-old son. That made me an instant mother. Fortunately, for me, I'd spent most of my formative years being the mother to my siblings (I am the oldest.) so I had some skills and an idea of what parenting involved.

There were some bumps in the road but we did well. As for the 3 children I gave birth to, I had them the hard way. I was originally told I could never have children but being the stubborn Irishwoman I am, I didn't accept that answer.

After many, many bizarre and painful tests/procedures and a series of fertility drugs, I was able to have my 3 children...but no more. We tried for a fourth one, but it wasn't in the cards. In a way, you might say they were "chosen," too.

As it turned out, my husband wasn't the man he'd led me to believe and we divorced. Several years later, I met Buck who had two sons and we married and were together for 32 years before his death in 2008.

I've been a stepmom to three and a "real" mom to three, too. I also became the guardian of my two younger sisters when our father died when I was 24 so, in a way, I've helped to raise 8 children.

It's been an interesting journey and one I wouldn't change. The list of "firsts" is so long I don't think I know where it ends.

Looking back, all I can tell you is to enjoy every single minute. Large or small. Don't worry about the breakfast dishes sitting in the sink if Anna wants to play dolls with you. You'll always have breakfast dishes to clean up, but those moments you play dollies with her will vanish like fog as she grows.

Pick flowers in the woods. Teach her the names of the trees and the wildlife and birds. Show her how to make bread. The yeasty smell of the dough and the silkiness of its texture. All those are treasures worth far more than any gem or diamond.

Sing her songs. Read her books. Cultivate her imagination. Look at the world through her eyes. It is a different world when you see it through "new eyes."

Most of all...have fun!!! One of the advantages you have is that you are a young family. By that, I mean you and Carl are still in your youth and you can play and run and interact with Anna on her energy level. What a treat!

It all goes so quickly. My baby is 42, with 4 babies of his own. When did that happen? How did that happen? You'll see.

Again, have fun. Don't fret over mistakes. You'll make them but they'll serve to give you information and insight into being a parent.

Lastly, take lots of pictures. I love looking at all the photos of my family as it grew and it's interesting to see how the children of my children look so much like their parents as children. Guess there is something to this gene pool thing.
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Old 02-11-2016, 01:46 PM   #24
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Wonderful words of wisdom Katie. And so ever true. Enjoy your daughter while she is so small. She is full of moments of wonder. Let them come out and treasure every one.

Cat, one of my favorite things to do when Poo was about Little Anna's age was to stand out of sight and watch him play. Then after a while I would come into sight and sit down on the floor with him and play trucks, hammer pegs into holes teaching him the difference between circles and squares. And you know something Cat, when he was around 12 y.o. I discovered that there was no mother like me. Poo was my defender. No one could say a bad word about me. I could do no wrong. Then he became a teenager. Need I say anything about that adventure?

Enjoy your marriage and those very special moments with your daughter.
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Old 02-11-2016, 05:51 PM   #25
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Oh! I am having tears! These messages are so very sweet and I shall follow these instructions!

I don't wish to sound arrogant, but usually I do not clean my home. Mamma's housecleaner takes care of our house also. But I like to do housework! I let Anna "help" of the plastic unbreakable things as dishes and her sip cups. We do play dolls! I bought myself a doll so it's mine when we play! She has so very many toys!

I let her "help" cook, and I like to turn over the pans on the floor so she can play drums with a spoon on them. And I shall teach her to cook, and be of nature, and she loves butterflies and cows. The rooster scares her. She loves Azia and the cats, and she likes to eat crayons. Uck! We try to thwart that as we can, ha!

She shall be with us this fishing season. We had to put Catina II in dry dock for the winter, for coming back last season I had no choice but to go through ice to get us home. One of her propeller shafts became out of balance and had to be repaired. Gizzi wanted her with us this next season! He loves her so very much!

She will learn of all good things, of healthy and nice things. She will have good morals and character, and we shall teach her of hard work. A large fishing vessel as Catina II is very much hard work, yes?

Oh I miss her and Carl! But this visit is very good for Mamma and me. I love America! I plan to come back often! Anna will learn of America and other countries also, as I did. My former classmates knew nothing of other countries, and when I spoke of different cultures, they looked of me as if I were naked.

Joyce taught me of scrapbooking, and I have three already! One of Catina II, and two of family and friends! It's very exciting to build a book! I am preparing also a recipe book for Anna. I shall teach her of cooking and making a home.

I have written this into my journal! Thank you so very much!

Love,
~Cat
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