"Discover Cooking, Discuss Life."

Go Back   Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums > The Back Porch > Off Topic Discussions
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 02-02-2007, 05:04 AM   #11
Sous Chef
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 605
Quote:
Originally Posted by StirBlue
When the bride & groom have taken the time to place a registry, they are anticipating gifts to furnish their home.
Lifestyles are so different nowadays that a bride may have several small bridal showers (family, girlfriends, work, college, church....to name a few) and this is why a registry is so important.
When is a cash gift appropriate? when the bride or groom's parents pay the expense of an apartment rental (1st month, deposit, last month's rent; all requrements of an apt rental). This cash gift has a value of
$1200 to $2000 +)
When is a cash gift appropriate? When you receive a wedding announcement from a distant relative and wish to respond with a gift; a nice card and $25 is appropriate.
When is a cash gift appropriate? When the bride & groom want an expensive gift and ask for cash gifts. (52" big screen, computer, furniture)
The wedding gifts opened at a ceremony are family heirlooms being passed on to the next generation.
Wedding gifts are usually not opened at wedding ceremonies and wedding receptions. There is a family member who takes charge of the gifts and transports them home because the bride & groom often leave the reception en route to their honeymoon.
When is $5 or $10 an appropriate gift? A tip for the parking valet if the reception is held at an establishment and this person is a servant of the business.
And so on and on as wedding traditions vary from one family to the next.
When is a cash gift appropriate? When the bride & groom want an expensive gift and ask for cash gifts. (52" big screen, computer, furniture)

I just cannot see how it could ever be considered appropriate for a couple to ask for cash gifts. If they're asked and respond that they would prefer cash, then that's one thing (although I still think that's a bit tacky unless it's with close relatives).
__________________

__________________
suzyQ3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2007, 06:20 AM   #12
Executive Chef
 
VeraBlue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: northern NJ
Posts: 3,683
Bridal shower gifts are usually something for the new home. However, usually by the time a couple actually marries, one or both of them has their own home and it's chock full of appliances, sheets, towels, dishes, etc. Those are traditional shower gifts. If they are still living at home, you have no problems choosing from almost anything that a Linens and Things or Bed, Bath and Beyond would stock. You could also ask if there is a gift registry somewhere.

As for the bringing the wedding gift to the shower....my first opinion is no, send it after the wedding. There is something about the wedding week flurry of activity that makes the arrival of wedding gifts that much more fun!
Have fun skiing!
__________________

__________________
How can we sleep while our beds are burning???
VeraBlue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2007, 10:17 AM   #13
Head Chef
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Illinois/USA
Posts: 1,343
Most couples are now in the workforce and co-workers are considered an extended family. Co-workers would rather chip in to buy a nice gift. Everyone gives a few bucks and a designated person buys the gift.
At the workplace, a few prank gifts are unwrapped like his/her nightshirts, bengay suntan oil (never intended to be used!), basket of unwrapped unlabeled canned goods...stupid/funny computer generated cards. And then their real gift is presented. Usually a potluck follows.
Nix on giving anyone a $8.88 handmixer, can opener or toaster. Nix giving them a towel set from Holiday Inn. Nix giving X-mas rewraps.
One church has a tradition of giving the card/money at bridal showers. The couple usually receives no more than $250 which is not very generous considering the number of people who attend.
A grudge gift is never fully appreciated.
__________________
StirBlue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2007, 11:37 AM   #14
Senior Cook
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Southern California
Posts: 415
The only time I have given money is when some of our kids friends got married and were very young and broke! We sent a gift as well, at the wedding itself my husband left an envelope for the couple. Maybe it's because that's how we started out & we still remember over 40 years later! have fun in Oregon - favorite state of mine.
__________________
Barbara
Barbara is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2007, 11:46 AM   #15
Hospitality Queen
 
jkath's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Southern California
Posts: 11,448
Z, I think it's really thoughtful that you're asking - it shows you really care.

I cannot speak from experience, as even though I've been married nearly 16 years, I never had a wedding shower, never registered or got wedding gifts, other than from our parents.

That said, if I were the bride-to-be, I'd appreciate my wedding gift at the shower. This way, it's being given personally, rather than just sent in the mail. With your girlfriend giving it, and also saying that the two of you cannot attend, I think it's quite gracious. Many people not attending would just forgoe the wedding gift.

Enjoy your vacation!
__________________
Come visit my foodie blog: www.SockmonkeysKitchen.com
This week's topic: Pinterest and Potatoes
jkath is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2007, 01:10 PM   #16
Chief Eating Officer
 
GB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: USA,Massachusetts
Posts: 25,509
While I agree with jkath that it is a nice personal touch to hand the gift to them instead of sending it through the mail, I personally would rather recieve those types of gifts through the mail. When I got married a few years back we had a very large shower and an even bigger wedding. That meant lots of gifts. Something to keep in mind is that the couple needs to find a way to transport all those gifts home from the shower and wedding. We had 6 cars filled with gifts after our shower and someone actually had to stay behind because we could not get them all home in one trip. We were thankful to the people who just had the gifts sent right to out house as logistically it was much easier.
__________________
You know you can't resist clicking
this link. Your eyes will thank you. VISUAL BLISS
GB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2007, 01:34 PM   #17
Sous Chef
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 605
Quote:
Originally Posted by GB
While I agree with jkath that it is a nice personal touch to hand the gift to them instead of sending it through the mail, I personally would rather recieve those types of gifts through the mail. When I got married a few years back we had a very large shower and an even bigger wedding. That meant lots of gifts. Something to keep in mind is that the couple needs to find a way to transport all those gifts home from the shower and wedding. We had 6 cars filled with gifts after our shower and someone actually had to stay behind because we could not get them all home in one trip. We were thankful to the people who just had the gifts sent right to out house as logistically it was much easier.
I'm curious, did people send shower gifts to your house or just wedding gifts?

While I definitely agree it's better to send wedding gifts than take them to the ceremony, I've usually thought that showers were different in that respect. It seemed that the gift-opening was an integral part of the celebration.

As for whether to take the wedding present to the shower or mail, it's a toss-up. But probably most people at the shower will also be attending the wedding, so if one or two of those who won't be able to to be there decide to bring both gifts, I doubt it would add tremendously to the burden.

I was in this situation once myself and brought both presents to the shower. The only problem I had was in making sure that the bride knew that one was for the shower and one was for the wedding and that she didn't think I was just being super generous at the shower and stiffing her on a wedding present.
__________________
suzyQ3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2007, 01:44 PM   #18
Head Chef
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Illinois/USA
Posts: 1,343
We had a similar problem when my niece was married two years ago. The store where she was registered held the gifts stored and when storeage became a problem, they were called and asked that the gifts be picked up. The first pick up required several trips. They were called several more times to pick up gifts.
It was decided appropriate to have the gifts at the bridal shower and a lot of time and effort was taken to deliver them and then take them back home. Then there were all the smaller showers and gift toting. Not to mention the sorting of gifts for each shower.
Then there were the gifts that arrived at the wedding that had to be taken home before going to the reception and more gifts at the reception. My niece and her husband left immediately after the reception en route to their honeymoon.
It is a pipe dream that it would have been easier to have them shipped because then someone would have had to been on hand to accept the delivery. With the US Mail, FedEx, and UPS, it would have tied up the whole day. And who is home these days with that much time on their hands?
An occassional package or two after the wedding were received as her mom was checking the mail for her. Her mother was checking during lunch hour!
__________________
StirBlue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2007, 03:16 PM   #19
Chief Eating Officer
 
GB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: USA,Massachusetts
Posts: 25,509
Quote:
Originally Posted by suzyQ3
I'm curious, did people send shower gifts to your house or just wedding gifts?
Most brought the shower gifts to the shower, but a few did send the gift ahead of time.
__________________
You know you can't resist clicking
this link. Your eyes will thank you. VISUAL BLISS
GB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-02-2007, 03:36 PM   #20
Head Chef
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Southern California
Posts: 2,038
I would give one terrific gift at the Bridal Shower and say it is also for the wekking.
__________________

__________________

Jill and Jolie
shpj4 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



» Discuss Cooking on Facebook

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:15 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.