"Discover Cooking, Discuss Life."

Go Back   Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums > The Back Porch > Off Topic Discussions
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 08-29-2006, 08:35 AM   #1
Cook
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: St. Clair Shores, Michigan
Posts: 88
Humor

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?"
"Oh mom," she replied, "The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic."
Suddenly she burst out crying, "But mom as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language...things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4 letter words.! You've got to come and get me and take me home...please mom."
"Sarah," he mother said, "calm down. Tell me, what could be so awful?"
"Please don't make me tell you," cried the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! Come get me please!"
"Darling, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4 letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh mom, they were words like.dust,wash, iron, cook."

__________________________________________________ _______________

The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes.
"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "What is the opposite of joy?"
"Sadness," said the student.
"And the opposite of depression," he asked the youg lady from Oklahoma.
"Elation," she said.
"And you sir." he said to the young man from Texas, "How about the opposite of woe?"
The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."

__________________

__________________
Some days you win Some days you lose Some days you get rained out But you have to put the uniform on everyday and be ready to Play................. Nick
gwkr36a is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2006, 08:38 AM   #2
Executive Chef
 
Half Baked's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,927
Quote:
The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."
Hahahahhahah!
__________________

__________________
Jan
Please spay and neuter your pets. The Animal Rescue Site
Half Baked is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2006, 12:19 PM   #3
Chef Extraordinaire
 
middie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Cleveland,Ohio USA
Posts: 16,264
Send a message via Yahoo to middie
Oh mom, they were words like.dust,wash, iron, cook."


lol man that sounds like me !
__________________
middie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2006, 01:02 PM   #4
Chef Extraordinaire
 
pdswife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 20,308
Send a message via AIM to pdswife Send a message via MSN to pdswife Send a message via Yahoo to pdswife
heheheh, dust? Iron? Cook....? What is that?
__________________
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. Robert Frost
pdswife is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2006, 01:57 AM   #5
Sous Chef
 
Raven's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Little Rock, Arkansas, USA
Posts: 554
Quote:
Originally Posted by gwkr36a

The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes.
"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "What is the opposite of joy?"
"Sadness," said the student.
"And the opposite of depression," he asked the youg lady from Oklahoma.
"Elation," she said.
"And you sir." he said to the young man from Texas, "How about the opposite of woe?"
The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."
I tried to "Woo" my lady love, but her reply was "Sooie".

~ Raven ~ (In Arkansas )

For those not raised on a Southern hog farm, to call a hog you call "WHOO Pig" and to shoo them away you holler "Sooie! Sooie" thus such coloquilisms as "I'm so tired I couldn't holler sooie if the hogs had me down". :)
__________________
Mike's Vet and Taxidermy - Either way you get your dog back.

A great nation is not built in a lifetime, but in the lifetimes of many. - Support our troops.
Raven is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2006, 10:13 AM   #6
Cook
 
cloudybutnice's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: uk
Posts: 80
On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The
turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is
struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.
Screaming, she stands up in front of the plane. "I'm too young to
die!"she wails. "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on
earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has
ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE
on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"

For a moment, there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own
peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of
the plane.
Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel
like a woman," he says. He's gorgeous. Tall, well built, with long,
flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle,
unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves.
The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the stranger
approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as
he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling
woman, and whispers:



"Iron this."


__________________
cloudybutnice is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2006, 10:22 AM   #7
Executive Chef
 
YT2095's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Just left of Europe and down a bit.
Posts: 3,875
Send a message via MSN to YT2095
an Egg and a Sausage in a frying pan, the Sausage says "is it just me or is it getting a little Hot in here?"
the Egg screams out "Oh My GOD! a Talking Sausage!!!!"
__________________
So long and Thanks for all the Fish ;)

YT2095 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-16-2006, 03:52 PM   #8
Chef Extraordinaire
 
kitchenelf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 19,725
Send a message via MSN to kitchenelf
Quote:
Originally Posted by YT2095
an Egg and a Sausage in a frying pan, the Sausage says "is it just me or is it getting a little Hot in here?"
the Egg screams out "Oh My GOD! a Talking Sausage!!!!"
That's soooooo not funny I can't stop laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!1
__________________

__________________
kitchenelf

"Count yourself...you ain't so many" - quote from Buck's Daddy
kitchenelf is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



» Discuss Cooking on Facebook

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:59 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.