OK here is the update. My parents came over last Friday evening. It went pretty much as I had expected it would. Mom claimed I said things I did not say and claimed she did not say things she said. I knew this would happen as she has done this my whole life. It was a very civil conversation though and we got a lot of things out in the open. She understands what she did was wrong and promised to never do anything like that again. My wife was able to bring up some things that she has been holding in for a while and felt a million times better after the conversation.
Since that discussion we have actually spend a lot of time with her due to my grandparents being here for a visit and also the Jewish holidays. Mom has made an obvious effort to respect our wishes and all the things we discussed. We all feel much better about what went down and things are back to normal.
For the people who suggested that we not write things in a note, we brought that up and mom said she absolutely needs these things in a note. It helps her to remember what needs to be done she does not take it as an insult at all, quite the contrary.
I am glad this is now behind us!