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Old 04-05-2005, 05:09 PM   #11
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sorry, i'm with amber, aunt dot, and the others.
i arrive on time.
it seems impolite to show up too early; the host/ess may not be dressed and made up, the food may need to be carefully tended to, the house may need tidied up, etc.
i say save the chit chat and lingering for after dinner.
if you want to show up early, call and ask if there is anything you can do to help the host/ess get ready.
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Old 04-05-2005, 09:30 PM   #12
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Just playing devil's advocate here--could there have been a reason they got there later than you had hoped, such as car trouble, or a problem getting ready? I have heard both sides of this issue over the years. Try not to let this get to you. I think it would be best to give them the benefit of the doubt, then next time let them know what time you are eating and what time you want them to arrive.

Barbara
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Old 04-06-2005, 08:01 AM   #13
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I do agree with you somewhat auntdot, pdswife, amber, htc and luvs. There are probably exceptions to my own rule where I wouldn't arrive early, such as a formal occasion. But this was a informal family dinner. When I visit my parents for lunch, I usualy arrive about 1 hour before sit-down.

You also make a good point luvs, with phoning beforehand to offer any assistance to the host. I guess I could try to be a little more relaxed about this issue, but tardiness in general just goes against my grain.
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Old 12-21-2005, 05:25 AM   #14
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I have some family members that I must tell them a time earlier than when we plan to eat because they are always late. They fooled me at thanksgiving. I told them we would eat at 12:30 thinking they would arrive at least 30 minutes later - they popped in at 12:15. I felt we needed to eat early because some family came and left the same day and we wanted to have time together after dinner - not eat and run. Much of my family consists of procrastinators and if I don't stay on course, we would never get things done. I counted 12 people in the kitchen on Thanksgiving and only 2 or 3 of us were working. Someone must stay focused or things would be a mess.
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Old 12-21-2005, 08:13 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aussie girl
On inviting the in-laws/outlaws to dinner (who live an hour away), MIL asks me what time will dinner be? I say at 7pm. They arrive at 6:57pm.

Is it just me, or do others find this sort of behaviour rude too? My Mum taught me, that when you are invited to a meal at someones house, you should arrive at least 30-40 minutes before 'sit-down time' for 2 reasons.

Firstly, to have drinks/cuppa and general chit chat. Secondly, is to ask the host if he/she needs any help in the kitchen. More often than not, the offer is declined, but its always polite to ask.

To me, the in-laws attitude smacks of we're-here-to-eat-not-socialize. Good manners go a long way and cost nothing.
If you come early, I'm ticked off Point being, tell guests what time the party event starts, not what time I think the food/dinner will be ready. I would allow time to mingle etc., as long as they show up on time. Discourtesy, to me, is arriving late after everyone is sitting down to dinner.

P.S. If someone tells me dinner will be at 7:00, that is the time I would arrive, or shortly before. Tell guests what time you want them to arrive. I would have done the same in their shoes.
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Old 12-21-2005, 09:14 AM   #16
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I was brought up in the same fashion as the most of you. Darla, however, was brought up a bit different. If her family was told that dinner was at 7:00 they would be there at 6:45. That really ticks me off. I know it shouldn't since they mean no malice. That's just the way they are. They socialize after dinner with coffee and cake. I personally believe that if dinner is at 7:00 that guests are welcome to start arriving at 2:00 and should be here no later than 5:00. This leaves time for drinks and apps. I always put out a plate of cheeses and crackers or shrimp coctail or something to that effect.
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Old 12-21-2005, 09:52 AM   #17
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homey, does spanky and alfalfa know that you married darla?

i hope you play "in my canoe" for her...
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Old 12-21-2005, 09:57 AM   #18
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I will get to wherever about 30 minutes early to help if needed. My family all know that when we say a certain time, then that is when we want to start and to be a little early so that we aren't all waiting around and then get started late, therefore, ending late. If someone is late, MOST of the time, not always though, they will call and let the host know.
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Old 12-21-2005, 10:23 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buckytom
homey, does spanky and alfalfa know that you married darla?

i hope you play "in my canoe" for her...
If I could find that song on Napster I definitely would
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Old 12-21-2005, 10:33 AM   #20
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It sounds like there are people on both sides of this issue. It comes down to a few things, communication, and also if your in-laws are generally rude people or if they are usually well mannered. If they are basically well mannered then I think it would be safe to assume that when you told them 7 that they thought that was when you wanted them to arrive. On the other hand if they are just rude people all around then it is possible that they just wanted to come over, eat, and leave.

Communication breakdowns can be difficult. next time try to be very specific and say something like we would love it if you came over around 6:30. I plan on having dinner on the table at 7.
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