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Old 09-02-2009, 07:11 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by silversage View Post
like most of you have posted, we were taught table manners as children, and over the years, i've been mighty glad.

But the original post was titled manners - table and otherwise. Is it just my age showing, or do folks no longer teach manners to children? I'm talking about common courtesy: Please and thank you; not interrupting; yes maam & no sir, staying in your seat at the table or in a restaurant; not yelling or screeching in public places; etc. These are all things that are summed up simply as respect or courtesy.

These manners are as necessary for fitting in to business and professional situations later in life as table manners are, but sadly, too many parents seem to think their little darlings don't need to be trained.
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Old 09-02-2009, 07:52 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Silversage View Post
Like most of you have posted, we were taught table manners as children, and over the years, I've been mighty glad.

But the original post was titled Manners - Table and Otherwise. Is it just my age showing, or do folks no longer teach manners to children? I'm talking about common courtesy: please and thank you; not interrupting; yes maam & no sir, staying in your seat at the table or in a restaurant; not yelling or screeching in public places; etc. These are all things that are summed up simply as respect or courtesy.

These manners are as necessary for fitting in to business and professional situations later in life as table manners are, but sadly, too many parents seem to think their little darlings don't need to be trained.

I was pleased to see that the manners lessons we preached to our daughters many years ago meant something as now my eldest is teaching my grandson proper manners. It's nice to hear an almost three year old say please and thank you.
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Old 09-02-2009, 08:16 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Silversage View Post
Like most of you have posted, we were taught table manners as children, and over the years, I've been mighty glad.

But the original post was titled Manners - Table and Otherwise. Is it just my age showing, or do folks no longer teach manners to children? I'm talking about common courtesy: please and thank you; not interrupting; yes maam & no sir, staying in your seat at the table or in a restaurant; not yelling or screeching in public places; etc. These are all things that are summed up simply as respect or courtesy.

These manners are as necessary for fitting in to business and professional situations later in life as table manners are, but sadly, too many parents seem to think their little darlings don't need to be trained.
This topic comes up every few years or so and it always amazes me how diferent peoples experiences can be. While you see you kinds not displaying manners (and I do not doubt that for a second), I see most you people show manners every day. Now they don't do it in every situation and not every kid does, but the majority of kids I see or interact with have good manners that any parent would be proud of.

I am a parent of young kids (4 and 2) and we make it a priority to teach manners. Our youngest is just learning how to talk. He puts 2 to 4 words together now. Saying please and thank you (pleesh and tack to) were among the first words he learned. He also says bless you when anyone sneezes or coughs or burps or...well...I will leave it at that I think he learns his good manners from his older sister as much as from his parents and grandparents and teachers. His sister is extremely polite and will say things like "May I please have another glass of milk if you don't mind". We taught her please, but she figured out may instead of can (not sure how she figured that one out) and if you don't mind, all on her own.

Most of our friends have kids around our kids ages and every single one of them has good manners. All the parents we know make it a very important part of teaching their children.
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Old 09-02-2009, 08:52 PM   #24
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GB that's great that your kids have polite children to interact with. It makes life easier for you guys.

It's upsetting to me to see ill-mannered children, especially in a situation with adults.
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Old 09-02-2009, 10:50 PM   #25
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We hear about them everyday, at home and at school. But have we ever sat back and thought about “The importance of good manners. Manners are the un-enforced standards of conduct which show a person to be cultured, polite and refined. They set a standard for human behavior. If we practice good manners, we are showing people around us that we are considerate of their feelings and respectful.
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Old 09-03-2009, 10:11 AM   #26
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Well, parents have to be present to teach these things....

But overall, I think that MANNERS in America is passe. We are stuck in the
ME/Narcissistic "Generation", so being aware of and caring about common
courtesy is no longer important in this country.
If you doubt this, just go to Walmart or a grocery store and watch people's
actions. They do not, generally, consider the people around them.

As for table manners, I learned "proper" manners and table setting from 4-H
and Scouting. My parents came from family farms in Kansas and couldn't care
less about dessert spoons and 4 forks. It was something they learned later in life
when needed, but it wasn't taught at home, so they didn't either.

IMHO, the entire Formal Dinner placing and multiple silverwares and such is a bit
over done anyway.
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Old 09-03-2009, 11:48 AM   #27
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But overall, I think that MANNERS in America is passe. We are stuck in the
ME/Narcissistic "Generation", so being aware of and caring about common
courtesy is no longer important in this country.
If you doubt this, just go to Walmart or a grocery store and watch people's
actions. They do not, generally, consider the people around them.
This is where what I said before applies. That it is so interesting to see the differences in this around different regions. I can not agree with what you said about common courtesy no longer being important etc. I consistently see acts of courtesy every day and even from people whom you may not expect it. I see people at the market letting others go in front of them when they just have one or two items and they have a cart full, or letting people with kids go first if the kids look fidgety. I see people on the train give up their seats to others who look like they need it more. I see people opening doors for each other. I have even witnessed, on multiple occasions, someone reaching into their pocket and giving a stranger a quarter or dime if they were short and were searching through their pockets for change. I have seen people randomly pay the toll for the person behind them (it has happened to me). The one time I see the opposite is people who are driving. Then, often times, I see all manners go out the window. Not always though. I see people holding up traffic (even when they should not) to let a car in front of them.
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Old 09-03-2009, 12:46 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by GrillingFool View Post

IMHO, the entire Formal Dinner placing and multiple silverwares and such is a bit
over done anyway.
I completely agree. I can give myself a quick lesson over the internet if I ever needed to refresh my memory.
Besides, our formal dining room with all its formal fixtures and settings very rarely gets used......except for Thanksgiving Day and X'mas, if we decide to stay home. I'll get better use out of that room by turning it into another den, selling my wife's fine silver & Noritakes and getting a big flat screen with the money.
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Old 09-03-2009, 02:49 PM   #29
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This is an interesting thread. I was taught table manner at home because I grew up in Sweden. My mum had worked in a british hospital in her youth and saw it as a necessity to pass on manners at the table. We always ate together. no one left the table unless asking to be excused, only reason it was granted was to go to bathroom but she prefered if that was dealt with before hand. Everyone washed their hands before sitting down at the table.

I passed it on to my kids, four boys. which got a bit ruined by their friends an their behaviour but as small children they knew how to beahve at the table and always sat with the adults and not at the childrens table. They knew how to behave and sit still untill everone was finshed. My mum, there grandmother were proud over her grand children ans was proud to see her teaching hadn't gone on deaf ears.

I do have all the glasses for a formal dinner, china silver wear etc. Nothing wrong in that. Being ina rural comunity with a lot of people not so keen on the finer things in life i am considered "posh". With a small town with a lot of unemplyment drug addiction etc, my manners don't really fit in.

here in the UK we have a comidy called keeping up apearances, it is abbout a middle class ladie taht like the finer things in life. but have relatives that don't and is a bit of an embarisment to her aand everyone around them. Hubby think I am fussing too much. I think you can have a good standard of living without it costing a fortune if you how to buy when to buy and how to cook what you buy.

happy cooking and keep the good work up.

Good manners cost nothing you might gain a new friend for life.

Cheers CC
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Old 09-03-2009, 03:53 PM   #30
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I enjoy "Keepin up Appearances". Hyacinth is a real snob but I see so many things in her that I've seen in people I've known that it is really fun to watch her. I do want to slap her when she makes poor Richard's life a mess. She does so many things to appear uppish and makes everyone around her miserable and wants to escape her. A good lesson for us in using our manners. After all, the most mannerly person is one who makes everyone else comfortable - a good rule to live by.
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