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Old 10-10-2011, 12:20 AM   #1
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My reason for Leaving (Laurie's Story)

I am writing this because I feel it is time for some closure. I am sure many of you have realized by now that I haven't been around and I wanted to clear up the reasons why.

It was not, as some may have thought, because of some cracks made regarding mistakes in one of my recipes. That was just sort of the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak, but it would have happened around the same time anyway.

I have suffered from varying degrees of chronic pain for almost 20 years. And through all this time I have deluded myself that I was handling it well. The truth is I was not handling it at all, but trying to just push it out of the way and get on with my life. The fact that I also suffered from depression and other illnesses would probably come as no surprise.

Around the time that I left DC I was trying to cope with severe asthma, the chronic pain, stress from my Dad's illness and several other things going on in our lives. I was using DC as a distraction but there was stress happening here as well and I was feeling like I couldn't keep up as a moderator or a member.

I finally had to admit that I was not handling my pain and low and behold the day after I did this I got a call from a pain clinic at one of the Vancouver Hospitals....I had been on the waiting list for 2 years! It is one of the best in North America. I went for an assessment and found out that I wasn't a hopeless case, that there was much that could be done for me. But I knew I needed to make some drastic changes in my life.

I have been attending a chronic pain workshop for the last month (2 more weeks to go) and it is amazing. I have started what will be a very long process to get me off most if not all my pain medication and am on another wait list for an 8 week day program at the pain clinic which incorporates full self-management techniques.

But to do all of this I need to devote most of my time to getting better. I am not an addict but am tired of taking medications that affect my moods, sleep, etc but don't take away the pain. I am learning that I must carefully organize my time so that I do not do too much of any one thing as not to tire or get sore. One of these is sitting at the computer. Another is standing in the kitchen. I am arranging meals so that I can do prep in stages and it is so much better but at the moment a lot of all of it is trial and error.

I miss you all terribly. But I owe it to myself and my family to get better and if that means giving up regular attendance here then I am afraid that is what I need to do. Since I already am seeing great improvement, I know it is the right decision.

I will keep myself subscribed to this thread in case you want to answer, but don't feel you have to. I just felt I needed to let you know I hadn't taken off in a huff.

Love and hugs,
Laurie

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Old 10-10-2011, 12:34 AM   #2
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Laurie,

I'm sorry to hear you are leaving DC. You have been such an inspiration to me. I am HAPPY that you are getting help with your chronic pain--I've been there, done that...thankfully, I was able to go to Sister Kennys years ago and recently found an accupuncturist who does IMS--that helped immensely. It was amazing to wake up and not be in pain--after all the years of being in pain. I couldn't believe it when I could turn my head and actually see over my shoulder instead of having to turn my entire upper body--I hope you will experience the same success. Yes, there are still days, but it is not EVERY hour of EVERY day. The stress of caring for your dad, etc., is also hard--that can't help. I hear you on that. You have earned your "good daughter" badge.

Take good care of yourself. I hope at some time you can come back. You know how caring DCers are--DCers are here for you and I'm sure I'm not the only one who will miss your recipes, wisdom, stories, and insight.

Sending big hugs to you and yours.

K.
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Old 10-10-2011, 12:55 AM   #3
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LP fellow cake maker, I like CWS am sorry. When I first came here you asked me about my "cooking style" I thought blimey someone think I have a style. I do fully understand and support your reason for leaving and it gives me a further insight into your character that you penned the missive above.
I think you are a caring person Laurie and I think the decision to care about yourself is the right one. I for one will miss you.
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Old 10-10-2011, 01:17 AM   #4
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Hey Laurie,

Let's call it a break while you set your priorities and complete them. Good luck to you in managing your problems and I hope you can come back to DC as soon as possible.
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Old 10-10-2011, 02:15 AM   #5
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Please take care of yourself. I'm glad you are getting help and that you are already seeing improvement. I hope things continue to improve and I know you'll be missed here. I know you're one of my dad's favorites and you were one of the people he pointed out to me when I first joined. Best wishes to you.

Jess
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Old 10-10-2011, 05:30 AM   #6
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I hope things get better for you; my thoughts go out to you.
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Old 10-10-2011, 05:53 AM   #7
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I hope you get well soon, Laurie.
In the meantime, DC has lost a major contributor and you will be missed.
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Old 10-10-2011, 08:38 AM   #8
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Love you! Take care of yourself and it's good to know that what you are doing is beneficial. Miss you, too!
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Old 10-10-2011, 08:57 AM   #9
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This is not goodbye Laurie. We will always be here anytime you need. Stay in touch and stay strong and know we love you.
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Old 10-10-2011, 09:33 AM   #10
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Miss you boat-loads my dear friend, but I am SO glad you are getting help with the pain. I know you need to stay focused and get yourself better. You know how to get in touch with me!
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