I want you all to know that your prayers and positive energies have definitely helped me. Thank you!
I am confronting this grief thing head on. It seems best to define it, address it, and work through it. Crying is good and I am doing quite well at that. I started one grief support group last week and will be doing two different groups starting next week. I need all the help I can get. I don't believe that dealing with the loss of a long term partner through death is intuitive, but some people do. I have always been weak on recognizing and expressing my feelings, so I get an opportunity to work on that. I am finding that there is nothing quite like losing a spouse, and talking with others who are going through this same trauma is very therapeutic.
The paperwork is finally slowing down. But I am surprised at all who need notified. Who would have thought I needed to send a death certificate to the Bureau of Motor Vehicles? They recently sent Rich a letter reminding him he needed to renew his drivers' license as well as his license plates with scary messages of late fees and such. Wanted to nip that issue in the bud but it takes the death certificate to do it.
My friends and family call and email often. I have not wanted any overnight company since shortly after Rich died, (I had people stay with me the last two weeks of his life). I need the quiet and space to do what needs to be done. I am now responsible for doing what two people used to do to maintain the homestead, plus work on this bereavement stuff. I still have not started to cook again. I am eating foods out of the freezer that friends sent me. The garden is doing well but not producing anything yet. Pretty soon I will have broccoli, potatoes, celery, and onions so I hope that gets me to cooking again. A cousin is coming for 5 days, in a couple weeks, when some local friends are hosting a celebration of Rich's life. I am not sure how I will get through that event.
And the mowing. When it is not raining, I am mowing, trimming and bushogging. I am without my main riding lawn (garden) mower. A friend loaded it up and took it back to where we bought it to get it repaired. Fortunately I kept Rich's family heirloom, the John Deere 111, which is an early riding mower JD made.
Hugs right back to everyone!