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Old 02-26-2014, 06:44 PM   #31
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Cat, you tell that person to come see me. I'll teach them what rude Really means.
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Old 02-26-2014, 08:30 PM   #32
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You all are so nice! I'm glad signing my posts isn't rude here.

I can be rude. I slapped a cab driver once because he touched my butt.

With love,
~Cat
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Old 02-26-2014, 08:44 PM   #33
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You can call me if you need a ride! Just feed me!
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Old 02-26-2014, 10:07 PM   #34
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Originally Posted by salt and pepper View Post
You can call me if you need a ride! Just feed me!
I can do this! These wonderful people here have helped me improve my cooking skills, so I shall certainly not poison you.

With love,
~Cat
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Old 02-27-2014, 05:36 AM   #35
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You all are so nice! I'm glad signing my posts isn't rude here.

I can be rude. I slapped a cab driver once because he touched my butt.

With love,
~Cat
That wasn't rude, the cabbie was the rude one. If you ever visit Rome, stay away from farm restaurants in Tivoli! There is a tendency for the strolling minstrels to pinch women's butts. All in good fun.
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Old 02-28-2014, 09:19 PM   #36
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Ha! I have been to Rome, but my butt remained untouched so I didn't have to slap anyone!

With love,
~Cat
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Old 02-28-2014, 09:22 PM   #37
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I have hit men for grabbing my crotch - with my purse, with an umbrella, and kicked them wearing wooden shoes. I didn't think I was rude. They were.
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Old 02-28-2014, 10:32 PM   #38
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I don't think you are rude or arrogant. You do speak in a rather formal manner (not a lot of slang, few contractions, very proper grammar) and some people might see that as stuffy, stand-offish, or arrogant, but that's a fault of our culture. Unfortunately you find the occasional twit who intentionally speaks in a very formal manner to sound smarter or better than others. And there are girls who will end an argument or snotty comment with a flippant "love you" type remark. With only written words to go on, no voice inflection or body language, people who aren't paying attention could mistake you for one of those types. Even speaking in person some people could get that impression.

However anyone who is paying attention will notice that's not who you are. They'll notice the content of your text (or words) isn't arrogant or rude. They will recognize that English isn't your first language, so it makes sense that it would be stripped of slang and regional speach patterns, that it would be a little text book. They'll notice you're one of the first people to offer encouragment and support to people who are struggling with something, that you offer sympathy and compassion to people who are hurting. They'll notice you offer kind words and a friendly attitude to anyone willing to talk to you.

My recommendation is, if you believe the other person has actually mistaken what you've said as rude or arrogant, appologize and explain. Something like, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound rude. English isn't my first language so sometimes I sound a little formal," could work well with people who have misunderstood you. You are giving people an opportunity to see that you're actually a really nice person.

Then the person will either accept it or not. If they accept it, you got the chance to broaden someone's view a little and maybe make them think twice before making future accusations of people. You may even make a new friend who one day will laugh and say, "Remember when I was a tool and thought you were rude? I'm glad we got that cleared up." If they don't accept your apology, oh well, you were reasonable (more than really), they weren't, move on and don't let it bother you.

Just remember that you aren't apologizing because you are wrong,you are doing it as a tactic to make others re-evaluate their perception of you. If the person is just being mean, trying to bully you in some way, or just looking for a confrontation, skip this tactic and defend yourself. Those people aren't mistaken, they are trying to bring you down and you have every right to stand up to them.

Also remember there are some people who just want to cause trouble. They are looking to get people riled up and they don't actually care who the other person is. Those are the aformentioned trolls and it's best to ignore them. They're like all other pests, provide a food source and it gives them a reason to come back. You can try to get rid of them yourself but a lot of times it's best to let the exterminators (moderators) deal with them.

Sincerely,
Chief Longwind's daughter (because I'm pretty sure this is longer than his reply to the question)
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Old 02-28-2014, 10:35 PM   #39
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Ummm, yeah, now that it's posted, definitely longer.

TL;DR You're not rude, people misunderstand stuff, mean people suck, and you go and be you girl! Or something like that.
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Old 02-28-2014, 10:43 PM   #40
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p.a.g., lots of good thoughts here. Thanks
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