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Old 06-13-2005, 02:29 PM   #1
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Too Strange to Be True

I am taking care of my brother who is in Assisted Living Home due to shoulder break. Also buy ing new refrigerator which makes for undue stress. After coming home from the farm with my other brother who I help I went by nursing home brothers house for his mail. I had everything except his bank statement. I freaked out and retraced my steps nowhere to be found. I checked all the trash cans in his house and mine. I was panic as he wants his things especially bank account monitored carefully. I was so upset and finally gave up. The bank doesn't want to do anything with me because I am not power of attorny or something. Always give me trouble. My son, walks in and makes comment, God must be with you. I said what is wrong with you? He opened his hand and there it was. He said it was on top of my car! He couldn't explain why it didn't fly off. I really broke down after this. When someone in family puts you in charge of their things you surely don't want it getting into wrong hands. Does anyone understand what I mean? Times I question my own actions. This is one I won't ever forget. I want so bad to share with my brothers but they won't think much of me if I do. I haven't any idea about all of this. Thanks for understanding I sure don't. All I know is I am going to depend on prayer even more.

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Old 06-13-2005, 02:51 PM   #2
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I'd keep the story to myself. I honestly have freinds and relatives who have placed their baby in his/her carrier on the rooof of their car and driven off! None had any mishaps (remembered where the baby was before they got out of the neighborhood!). So don't feel all alone, we all place things on the roof of the car when we get in and our hands are full. But your brother probalby wouldn't understand. Remember, you're doing a favor for him, and as long as it gets done, he doesn't need to know the details.
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Old 06-13-2005, 02:57 PM   #3
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Claire

I just can't recall doing that because of the simple fact it would fall off. Never put anything on top the fridge because it normally would spoil. I just can't remember ever doing that. I have gotten over the habit of putting things where they are out of my control. But a baby would be different. Of all the hills and roads I had to drive around and over and never blew off. I am thankful you aren't bawling me out like I knew he would. He wants everything perfect and he sure isn't. He is getting so depressed on me that I don't even like to go there. Thanks Claire for your time. Have to get over there again today. The people living there all know my name I am there so much. At least they smile when they see me. He sure has hard time being kind.
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Old 06-13-2005, 03:19 PM   #4
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Claire is right, no need to tell anyone. Your son is right also. God {or an angel}is watching out for you.
You are doing your brother a big favor and you have your own stuff to deal with. Don't let it get to you that you lost it for a little while. Stress can do all kinds of things to the mind, it happens. Your a good person for the things that you do for him!!!!!
Take care!
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Old 06-13-2005, 04:42 PM   #5
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Thanks, for understanding. I just want so bad to keep him around and praying and doing what I can is part of it. He just seems like things are hopeless. Before he had all this bad luck he was such a faith and hope filled person. Now he never has a right spirit that looks for tomorrow. All I do is come there and let him know I make the effort to see him. Thanks again and one never knows how it is until they go through it themselves. So many sit there from one day to next and no one visits them. I really can't blame them for getting heartbroken. Thanks for all your time to comment.
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Old 06-14-2005, 07:08 AM   #6
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Remember that pain and helplessness often makes people mean. Most men, in particular, get very angry when faced with a situation they can do little or nothing about. I really think your brothers should give you power of attorney if they expect you to do the work; you cannot get it done legitimately otherwise. Something like loosing a piece of paper shouldn't have the capacity to give you so much heartbreak, all it takes is a phone call to replace it. I'm not saying you were wrong to be upset, any of us would be. Just that when you're expected to do everything AND keep up the end when it comes to spirits, it's going to get overwhelming. It sounds like you brother could use anti-depressants as well. I think if you're going to bear this burden yourself, if necessary, lie like a rug when something like this happens. And treat yourself to things like long soaks in the tub and any other little thing that makes you happy.
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Old 06-14-2005, 04:50 PM   #7
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Thanks Claire

I guess we all do everything for our family. I will take your advice about not telling him things that I know will make him worry and get upset. I am so used to confiding in him and having him advise me because I trusted him. That is all over now and I have to use my best judgement when it comes to taking care of him. I never knew my older brother would be someone I took care of. Always felt due to his age would always be someone to count on. Thanks for your kind thoughts, it truly helps. May your days all be blessed with someone to help you along the way.
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