texasgirl
Master Chef
Wow, if I start, I may never finish!!
My main regret would be that I didn't spend more time with my mom!!
My main regret would be that I didn't spend more time with my mom!!
Life regrets
- Thread starter rubiksolved
- Start date
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middie
Chef Extraordinaire
Funny this thread should come along at this time. I've been thinking a lot about my past and regrets, if any.
As a child my family was about as dysfunctional as it gets and, at age 8, I was trust into the role of caregiver/caretaker of my 4 younger siblings. THAT I don't regret because I was able to keep them from falling off the deep end. Actually, at the death of our father, I became the legal guardian of my two youngest siblings, my sisters.
My first marriage was less than ideal, but the silver lining was that I have three wonderful children.
Now, as far as regrets...well, the obvious. I regret that I won't be spending the rest of my life with Buck. He loved me deeply and made sure that I knew it for 32 years. He treated me better than anyone has ever treated me. I was truly blessed.
Only one other regret and that is that Buck and I never had a child/children together. It was never possible, but I would like to have some "part" of him alive today. Although, I love his two sons as much as if I'd given birth to them, so there's comfort in that.
Buck's oldest son looks and acts just like him. Same body build, same blue eyes, same intelligence, same sense of humor, same strength.
Over the years I've believed in two things:
- Everything happens for a reason
- No experience is bad, unless you learn nothing from it
Thanks for the thread, rubiks.
As a child my family was about as dysfunctional as it gets and, at age 8, I was trust into the role of caregiver/caretaker of my 4 younger siblings. THAT I don't regret because I was able to keep them from falling off the deep end. Actually, at the death of our father, I became the legal guardian of my two youngest siblings, my sisters.
My first marriage was less than ideal, but the silver lining was that I have three wonderful children.
Now, as far as regrets...well, the obvious. I regret that I won't be spending the rest of my life with Buck. He loved me deeply and made sure that I knew it for 32 years. He treated me better than anyone has ever treated me. I was truly blessed.
Only one other regret and that is that Buck and I never had a child/children together. It was never possible, but I would like to have some "part" of him alive today. Although, I love his two sons as much as if I'd given birth to them, so there's comfort in that.
Buck's oldest son looks and acts just like him. Same body build, same blue eyes, same intelligence, same sense of humor, same strength.
Over the years I've believed in two things:
- Everything happens for a reason
- No experience is bad, unless you learn nothing from it
Thanks for the thread, rubiks.
DH and I were talking about this the other day.....
We shoulda worked out butts off and MADE lots of money from age 18-25 instead of spending it.. before we had kids.
Then we wouldn't be trying to get ourselves out of the stupid hole we dug back then right NOW!!!
DUH.
Jeeks I hope 30 is the new 20..... I just may be ok by 40 if I get an extra 10 years!
We shoulda worked out butts off and MADE lots of money from age 18-25 instead of spending it.. before we had kids.
Then we wouldn't be trying to get ourselves out of the stupid hole we dug back then right NOW!!!
DUH.
Jeeks I hope 30 is the new 20..... I just may be ok by 40 if I get an extra 10 years!
no regrets, but if I think of one, it's not too late to fix it or do it now if it is something I missed. There is too much living to do to fill it with regrets. SO, go live life!
DramaQueen
Head Chef
I regret ever having started smoking. I started when I was 11 and smoked for 35 years. My biggest regret and guilt trip is having smoked around my kids. What was I thinking? I see this now and it makes me want to say something to the parent. No one told us anything about not smoking around kids, second-hand smoke or smoking during pregnancy. I never thought about the fact that my kids were breathing smoke. I haven't suffered any bad effects and quit cold turkey (best thing I ever did for myself but later than I should have.)
My daughter had migraines til a couple of years ago and my son has allergies. Both are in their mid 40's and I always wonder if my smoking had something to do with it. I will always feel regret and guilt. No one in my family ever smoked, not my husband or my kids. I'm so glad I quit but still..........
My daughter had migraines til a couple of years ago and my son has allergies. Both are in their mid 40's and I always wonder if my smoking had something to do with it. I will always feel regret and guilt. No one in my family ever smoked, not my husband or my kids. I'm so glad I quit but still..........
babetoo
Chef Extraordinaire
i don't have a long list of regrets. life is to short for coulda shounda.
did the best as i could when decisions were made.
babe
did the best as i could when decisions were made.
babe
Constance
Master Chef
I have waited a long time to answer this thread, as I am 61 years old, been married 3 times, and have more regrets than you can imagine.
Thing being, it's no good to dwell on the past. Instead, think of how you can do better in the future.
We were all put here for a purpose. It's never too late.
Thing being, it's no good to dwell on the past. Instead, think of how you can do better in the future.
We were all put here for a purpose. It's never too late.
Barbara L
Traveling Welcome Wagon
Amen. I believe the only time regrets should be aired is if they can help others to learn from your mistakes, or help you not to repeat them. I learned a long time ago not to play the "what if" game. Besides, it goes both ways.
Barbara
OP
OP
rubiksolved
Assistant Cook
- Joined
- Sep 5, 2008
- Messages
- 19
OP
OP
rubiksolved
Assistant Cook
- Joined
- Sep 5, 2008
- Messages
- 19
sorry for the double post.. : x
you seem to have a lot of wisdom you can share with everyone else.. : x
any words of advice to those younger than you?
smoke king
Sous Chef
True That.
I'd like to nominate Constance for the Nobel prize. Her response was spot-on perfect.
Dove
DC Grandma
It would take all night to list my regrets..I think after you loose a loved one (in my case it was two loved ones ) you think back and think " why did I do that or why didn't I do that etc. Do you understand what I am saying?? Tell others how much they mean to you, think before you act...to quote Paul " Put your mind in gear before you put your mouth in motion" I ended up with my foot in my mouth many times....
I do know what you mean, Dove. All of my family is gone. Give yourself some time. I made peace with things I had no control over, or could not change, and knew that they knew how I felt about them, & vice versa.
Fisher's Mom
Executive Chef
I second your nomination, smoke king. Constance has shared a lot of wisdom here at DC and she's always right on the mark. Thanks Connie.
Chico Buller
Washing Up
After reading all of the comments here, I'm faced with one question. If we could turn back time, would we change our behavior? For example, a soldier might regret his actions, but those actions secured the survival for himself and buddies.
There is no question here, I have regrets. But like a baptism of fire, they galvanized the person I am.
When I sit home some nights, lovely wife, nice warm home, most of my bones unbroken, secure in retirement, treasured bichon in my lap, long list of enemies shuddering at the sound of every V-twin and at the top of my craft, I realize that this condition came only from pain.
Going back in time and snuffing but one butterfly may have taken away that entire happy ending.
Yes, I have regrets, but that was the cost of admission.
There is no question here, I have regrets. But like a baptism of fire, they galvanized the person I am.
When I sit home some nights, lovely wife, nice warm home, most of my bones unbroken, secure in retirement, treasured bichon in my lap, long list of enemies shuddering at the sound of every V-twin and at the top of my craft, I realize that this condition came only from pain.
Going back in time and snuffing but one butterfly may have taken away that entire happy ending.
Yes, I have regrets, but that was the cost of admission.
Constance
Master Chef
Yes, I do.
1. Think before you act. Imagine the worst possible consequences of what you're about to do, and ask yourself if you are willing to pay the price. This isn't being paranoid, it's just being sensible.
2. Remember that one thoughtless act can alter the course of your life.
3. Everything you do affects those who love you, so that one thoughtless act can also cause them pain and
suffering through no fault of their own.
4. With a few exceptions, everyone has something good about them. Look for the good and overlook the bad as best you can. After all, you're not perfect either.
5. Instead of criticizing others, walk a mile in their shoes.
6. Learn to forgive. Mean feelings will eat you up inside.
7. If you see someone in need, help him if you can. It could just as easily be you in his place.
8. You've heard that you should live each day as if it were your last, because for all you know it might be. The same goes for your loved ones...take time for them, hug them and express your feelings. They might not be here tomorrow.
9. Learn from your mistakes. It's never too late to change your life.
10. Believe in yourself. You can work miracles.
And most important...learn to laugh at yourself!
I think you will always have them, and as Smoke King mentioned, the key is not to let them take over your life.
I had a bout with this when my mom passed away and I went through several years of regrets/pains/heartache. I did not realize how much damage I was causing myself.
But my main regret is not following my dreams for my career. When I was younger, I wanted to be a free lance artist illustrating album covers and books. Now I want to get into wild life rehab.... guess it is NEVER to late!
I had a bout with this when my mom passed away and I went through several years of regrets/pains/heartache. I did not realize how much damage I was causing myself.
But my main regret is not following my dreams for my career. When I was younger, I wanted to be a free lance artist illustrating album covers and books. Now I want to get into wild life rehab.... guess it is NEVER to late!
urmaniac13
Executive Chef
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2005
- Messages
- 4,764
Looking back there are at least 10 years in my life I would rather consider NOT existed, would like to eradicate from my memory. I wish those periods could have been credited back into my "account". (sorry I can't go into details... it could well turn into a very boring, not particularly pleasant saga...)
