CluelessDad
Assistant Cook
Background: I'm facing the possibility of being Mr. Mom (five children) and that means cooking - formerly my wife's responsibility. That means there are things in my kitchen to cook with but I don't know what they are.
Request: Where do I begin? I know what a knife is but I have no idea what a (Fill-in-the-blank) knife is. I know what a microwave it but I don't know what all those buttons on it do. I've taught my children everything I know about the oven: "Stay away. Hot. Don't touch."
Rules for answering:
1 - For those of you who believe anyone who can read a recipe can cook - I don't believe you and I'm not listening - I've tried that before: Picture dense, black smoke, alarms, burnt appendages, melted utensils OR undefinable goo that tastes bad, smells bad, and never became anything vaguely like what it was supposed to be. So a book of 1,000 recipes is NOT what I'm after.
2 - If you recommend a resource - be sure it defines EVERYTHING. If it starts with a list of tools, I'm in trouble. I've found several references online that start with telling me I need a "skillet" and then proceed to tell me what kind of a skillet I need. Why not simply say, "The first tool you need is a jkwefbvbaisdvb. Look for a jkwefbvbaisdvb that measures 10" across it's hdgjhsbvjdnsjk. You might want one that is made of iron." That's not helpful.
3 - Regarding equipment - I'm not buying any. Who knows? It might already be there, I can ask. But I've browsed enough threads suggesting $100 knives to start with to tell you that I'm going to be cutting things with whatever kind of knives I've got. If you provide a detailed description and a picture, I'll try to find something similar.
4 - Think REALLY BASIC. Don't tell me to crack an egg. I don't know how. I've tried. It always makes a mess and I end up picking out the biggest bits of shell and as for those little pieces...
You get the picture.
5 - Please don't tell me what a lost cause I am. I understand that but survival dictates I do something.
Request: Where do I begin? I know what a knife is but I have no idea what a (Fill-in-the-blank) knife is. I know what a microwave it but I don't know what all those buttons on it do. I've taught my children everything I know about the oven: "Stay away. Hot. Don't touch."
Rules for answering:
1 - For those of you who believe anyone who can read a recipe can cook - I don't believe you and I'm not listening - I've tried that before: Picture dense, black smoke, alarms, burnt appendages, melted utensils OR undefinable goo that tastes bad, smells bad, and never became anything vaguely like what it was supposed to be. So a book of 1,000 recipes is NOT what I'm after.
2 - If you recommend a resource - be sure it defines EVERYTHING. If it starts with a list of tools, I'm in trouble. I've found several references online that start with telling me I need a "skillet" and then proceed to tell me what kind of a skillet I need. Why not simply say, "The first tool you need is a jkwefbvbaisdvb. Look for a jkwefbvbaisdvb that measures 10" across it's hdgjhsbvjdnsjk. You might want one that is made of iron." That's not helpful.
3 - Regarding equipment - I'm not buying any. Who knows? It might already be there, I can ask. But I've browsed enough threads suggesting $100 knives to start with to tell you that I'm going to be cutting things with whatever kind of knives I've got. If you provide a detailed description and a picture, I'll try to find something similar.
4 - Think REALLY BASIC. Don't tell me to crack an egg. I don't know how. I've tried. It always makes a mess and I end up picking out the biggest bits of shell and as for those little pieces...
You get the picture.
5 - Please don't tell me what a lost cause I am. I understand that but survival dictates I do something.
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