Participation

[*amy*]

Well, this isn't a Forum Help or ideas thread, but a topic for discussion or 'food for thought'.

First, this site has much to offer - sharing recipes, jokes, personal life experiences, birthday wishes, pms, photos & on and on. There is no other site that I have seen that offers as much as DC does. Kudos to everyone that keeps this site working & on-line every day, for those who choose to be a member.

IMHO, the success is also, due in large part, to member's participation. (Please bear in mind, I am not criticising anyone or making any attempts to 'voice' how the site should be run).

I see many (some long-time members) logged in on a daily basis, but don't see responses/replys to fellow members' birthdays, welcomes, (sometimes I may miss a few, myself), shared recipes, jokes, etc. Some members never participate in welcomes or Happy B-days. (I, myself, am personally drawn right to the food, but that's just me.) Why not take the time to post a reply to the members already here that share their time?

I've noticed when a post gets zero replys (recipes, jokes - whatever), the thread dies and it is discouraging for any poster/member. I love seeing new members, even if it's one post to aska question -- but how's about a little more active participation from members already here 24/7 or otherwise.

Karma IS another great feature. It shows appreciation for a post etc. I have never been opposed to that - in fact I'm all for it - keep it coming. What keeps the Board jumping (imo), is when members post an interest/reply on the Board - so others may want to join in a discussion -- even if it's a 'that looks nice, or 'I may give it a try' or 'that made me laugh' or 'Thank you' kind of response.

I think it is 'safe' to say, not everyone is everyone's cup o' tea - that's life. but the draw to this site, for me, is about food and levity and hopefully making new friendships. There are disagreements or different points of view that can become passionate from time to time. But isn't the overall purpose here to share & exchange with fellow members. Thanks for allowing me to express my point of view.

 

[Alix]

Well said Amy. It seems like you put a lot of thought into this post.

 

[VeraBlue]

It's hard to wish birthday salutations to someone you've never corresponded with. Equally, it's hard to say 'great job' when someone posts something their kid did if you've never corresponded with that person. I also won't publicly wish anyone well any longer when someone is looking for 'prayers'. Not being a 'pray-er' I did offer someone my most heart felt and sincere good wishes and actually got red karma from two moderators who didn't understand my post. That kind of thing will keep a person from reaching out ever again.

As for the recipes..well, that's another tough one. I can read a recipe that is posted here, but does that mean I have to respond to it? What if I don't care for the recipe? Surely you wouldn't want me to post that? What if I was to say that I just saw that recipe posted in last month's food magazine? Sometimes, it's better to keep some thing to yourself.

Like any discussion board, people form virtual friendships here. They also notice when someone talks out their a** most of the time. My personal way of navigating this board is to pick and choose what is important to me, and respond to that/them. The thing about cooking is that are very few ways to actually cook wrong. You can cook poorly, but that doesn't make it wrong. If you like it, and your family eats it...and you like to talk about it, this is the place for you! There are as many personalities and characteristics here as there are apple varieties, potato varieties, tomato varieties, melon varieties and squash varieties, combined.

 

[Fisher's Mom]

I definitely see VeraBlue's point. I was undecided about posting welcomes to new members because most of the time, even though I'm logged on, I am not actually at my computer except for brief snatches of time. If I felt an obligation to welcome every new member, I would have no time to learn things. Also, if I posted welcomes for some and not others, would that be seen as selective? I finally decided that on the days I have extra time and I'm not actively trying to learn something new, I will welcome a new member and hope that is OK. (Also, some of the new posts look to me to be kind of an advertising thing. Not the majority, by any means).

I will respond to a thread started by a new member if it's something I want to know, too. At least they won't feel like they are the only one who has a question. But there are very few questions I am qualified to answer. The few queries I felt like I could offer any help with, I tried to. But I would hate to steer someone wrong.

The birthday thing - I feel like VeraBlue does. It's very difficult for me to wish someone Happy Birthday when I don't know them at all and they don't know me. Not that I think it's a bad thing and I'm sure lots of DCers like it a lot. But I probably wouldn't do it unless it was someone I had had some on going interaction with here or I would feel weird. For me, it feels like when I get birthday cards from all sorts of businesses every year.

I think this thread and some other ones like it might best serve DC as a gentle reminder that any community grows and thrives on "new blood" in order to remain fresh and vital and interesting to everyone. If everyone makes a little extra effort to encourage newcomers in whatever way they feel comfortable and have time for at that moment, maybe that would address the concerns of the authors of these threads. Or maybe my take is completely wrong - that happens a lot! lol

Terry

 

[jpmcgrew]

I do my best to post but I also may not have much to add to some posts as for birthdays Im guilty of not offering greetings but to the people I know but so many come up and they really have not made any posts etc for me to even know them a little.Other posts have been done over so many times like how to boil an egg and that is fine because new people have questions and DC will always respond there are so many answers by others I just plain dont have anything to add. I think if people want a responce they need to start posting.Ive been here a long time and used to get dissapointed alot because I didnt get alot of responce I felt like I was trying to get in a clique (its so not that way)then I learned to jump in and put my 2 cents worth in everything I was interested in, the more your name comes up and the more posts you make the more you get back.
Amy,I noticed you jumped in from the beginning with no problem.
That why I posted the open invitation post to get people to come on out and have some fun with us.
And now it will be a little harder with so many new members but I think my little brain can retain more names but people need to show up and post for me to know them.

 

[Katie H]

(Also, some of the new posts look to me to be kind of an advertising thing. Not the majority, by any means).
Terry

Terry, you've touched on an area that Admins and Mods see a lot of. We (most) always have our radar out and try to clear the "sellers" from DC. It's a tricky process and, occasionally, we might miss one. Advertising is something that is not acceptable here and we do our best to keep it that way.

When it comes to greeting members, I usually review their profile in addition to reading their intro. That way I try to "customize" my greeting to fit them.

 

[GB]

I think the general idea is that we are all different people and those differences should be embraced. Just because one person thinks it is great to welcome everyone and wish everyone a happy birthday does not mean that the next person will feel the same way. Both of these people can be right.

Amy, if you want to welcome people and wish happy birthdays then that is an absolutely wonderful thing and by all means keep doing it. People who get those messages from you love it I am sure.

Vera, Terry, and others who, for whatever reason do not want or do not feel comfortable doing the same, don't. And don't feel bad about either. There is nothing wrong with the way you feel.

Each person here is different and what is right for one is not right for everyone. Diversity is a good thing and we need to remember that.

 

[Fisher's Mom]

Terry, you've touched on an area that Admins and Mods see a lot of. We (most) always have our radar out and try to clear the "sellers" from DC. It's a tricky process and, occasionally, we might miss one. Advertising is something that is not acceptable here and we do our best to keep it that way.

When it comes to greeting members, I usually review their profile in addition to reading their intro. That way I try to "customize" my greeting to fit them.

Yep, I know ya'll are really up on this. I rarely see more than one post from a new member that looks like a seller - either they stop with the ads (I'm sure with a little nudge from ya'll) or they disappear. But sometimes it's not completely clear if the new member is a seller or if they just don't know what's acceptable. I notice ya'll respond quickly to that and then keep a close watch. I certainly appreciate your vigilance on this type of thing Katie.

 

[*amy*]

Birthdays and Welcomes were only two examples re participation. I do see some of your points. I think most of you get the gist of what I am saying. Sometimes many people join at the same time, so it's tedious or I may not have the time to address every one. Again, it's not 'all' about welcomes and birthdays. (Although, I hope we can omit our birthday year, now that the site has been updated )

 

[bullseye]

Advertisers and spammers aside, I think it is important for all of us to make an effort to encourage new users. Yes, we do often see the same questions over and over again, but it is possible to point out a link to a thread or suggest the search feature. I have noticed several times Katie E's extra effort in extracting info from the UP. (Katie, I'd have karma'ed you, but apparently I did so recently--the site said "no.") New users are the lifeblood of any site like this--no matter how much you know, someone will come up with a question to which you didn't even know you wanted the answer. I know I have been remiss in this regard, often feeling I had nothing to offer; I do, however, have a good idea how the site works and where better info than I have can be found. This, in itself, can be useful.

 

[jpmcgrew]

The bottom line still is just jump on in I see new people introducing them selves if they get a few welcomes I just dont feel like I hafto add on, if not I try to extend a welcome.After all this is not kindergarten so I dont think anyone should be offended just they did not get the welcome they expect does not mean you are not welcome it just means with so much going on you just might be missed.Even so get in here we need the new people so just ask or say any thing food related or fun related.

 

[keltin]

Seems to be a lot of threads like this here lately. One thing I’d like to contribute is that some new users may feel unwelcome by some of the responses they receive. I’ve seen some users questioned about their use of language and how they type! Sure, we all want to see well written and articulate posts, but this isn’t English class, it’s the internet and a public forum. No sense in trying to school a new user, especially when that type of typing is popular all over the net and on mobile devices where time is of the essence.

I’ve seen new users post a recipe that they obviously like, and are probably proud to be sharing and thus contributing to DC, only to be greeted with “that’s pretty good, but I’d change this and this”, or “not too bad, but I’d take out this and add this”. In the worst case scenarios, there are responses of “are you serious, is this a joke” and “you’d be better off throwing away all those ingredients and using the chicken for such and such”. Granted, in those worse case scenarios, the recipes are a bit unwieldy (like use 2 cups of mayonnaise!). True, the recipe sounds a bit out there to people with some cooking time under their belt, but the poster may honestly like the recipe. They may be proud of it.

To have someone come in and criticize (and to suggest a change is a form of criticism) something you’re proud of and that you think tastes good, no matter how minor, can be a turn off. If the posters ASKS for hints on tuning the recipe up or changing it, then yeah, by all means say “I’d drop this and add that”, but if they don’t ask for that, then why say it. I’m sure some would say that they are simply trying to guide and educate the new user….but the user didn’t ask for that. They just tried to share and they ended up getting responses that their idea of good cooking is “less than” and should be changed…….but what if the suggested changes aren’t in line with the user’s tastes?

If someone doesn’t specifically ask how can I change this recipe, then why go out of your way to tell them that it needs to be changed. That can be rather traumatic for a new poster. You can either say nothing at all or say thanks for sharing. If you’re feeling generous, you can say I might try this sometime. If you really want to help, you can ask “do you make it this way all the time”, and “this sounds good, but I don’t have that much mayo, how do you think it would taste if I sub this”. This way, you come across as someone generally engaging them in conversation which in turn challenges them to think about the recipe so that they can respond…..this is far better than saying “that’s ok, but I’d change this”.

The other day I saw a recipe that called for a cup, a full cup, of sour cream. This wasn’t a big recipe and I thought a cup was way over the top. That amount of fat that a cup would have added was insane, but I didn’t say anything even though I thought the sour cream should have been cut down and replaced with a different liquid. What was the point in me saying “that’s a bit much on the fat there, how about using this instead to make it a bit more healthy and light”. There was no point in me saying that since the user liked their recipe as it was. It wasn’t for me, so I closed that thread and moved on. Alt+F4 is a powerful way to mark a thread as one you don’t care for, and it doesn’t put anyone off in doing so.

As for giving information that may be incorrect, then sure, you should correct them (if you’re positive you are right and can prove it), but there is no need to be matter of fact and state tersely that ”you’re wrong”. If you’re going to correct another, then I think there should be more to the conversation than a short "that’s wrong" response. The user will never learn if you don’t challenge them to think about what it is that is in question.

And that is my two cents.

 

[GB]

In answer to your questions keltin, I think the easiest and quickest way to say it is look at the name of the site. It is Discuss Cooking. What that means to most people is that if someone posts a recipe then it will be discussed. That means saying what you like or dislike, what you would change, what you would keep the same, etc.

 

[keltin]

I agree, it is a discussion, but since this topic was about why do new users pop in, posts once and disappear, this is my take on it. And a discussion can be much more than “change this and it will be good”. A true discussion could be engaging where you ask “do you think I could sub this instead”….that would challenge the user to think and develop a true discussion rather than sit there and take the criticism.

True, it’s not the sites job to “raise” a new cook and hold their hand….but in real life, when we really care about helping another, let’s say our children or someone young and close to us, we often teach by asking questions such as “how many apples are on the table…..and how many apples fit in that basket”. This approach challenges the person to think for a bit and is far better than saying no you’re wrong, three apples go over there leaving us two apples. There is no teaching, learning, or discussing in that form.

 

[GB]

This is not a site called Teach Cooking though keltin. I hear what you are saying, but it does not mean that what others are doing is incorrect.

 

[kitchenelf]

This whole subject comes up every couple years. And yes, this seems to be on the heels of another thread. The time we have to devote to the site for each and every one of us is a very personal issue. While I may be logged on I may not be here. It's tough at best. There is no answer for everyone to follow. I've greeted/said Happy Birthday to some and not greeted/said Happy Birthday to others and have been accused of playing favorites and catering to "friends" when in reality I don't know any of these people. I only have so much time to be here and believe it or not, we have certain duties behind the scenes that need to be done. Some days it's not so bad; other days it's all you can do keep up with it. It's a Catch 22 - period. By the time you read all the new posts to make sure people are "playing nice" it's time to go do something else away from the computer.

 

[Katie H]

Another view of the "one post wonder" person is that there are a number of people who post the first time and lose or forget their password and never return. I've been guilty ot that on other boards. These members are all sexes and all ages and account for a portion of the one posters.

As for the "add this or change that" part of our responses, it's a natural thing to see a recipe and respond based on our own experiences. We want to share in our tasty successes. In my case, it's almost an involuntary reaction and I'm probably not alone doing this. As a result, we often reply to a poster's recipe with our own "take" on it. And, as someone already pointed out, it's all part of DiscussCooking.

 

[Dave Hutchins]

It does not hurt any body to be nice==HB so what it might make some ones day ??every body needs a few smiles now and then..

 

[kitchenelf]

In case some people don't know - Discuss Cooking sends out a personal Happy Birthday e-mail to every person who has posted their birth date. I think it really shocks a lot of people - we get some nice feedback from that!

 

[keltin]

Sure, as I have agreed, it is part of the Discussing. We type these posts, perhaps re-read them and then submit. Plenty of time for thought on courteousy, so it’s not a knee jerk reaction. In real life, you’re liable to blurt something before you can type it, but in typing, there is plenty of time to consider what you are “saying”.

This site has password and username recovery, so any user that really wanted to come back could even if they forgot their password and username.

The only thing I was bringing up, and no need for anyone to be thin skinned here, is that while the regulars have been here for a while and are familiar with each other and their posting style and sense of humor, the 800 or new guests or users that come by everyday aren’t. If I were paying for a cooking class and the teacher just said you’re wrong, I’d feel cheated.

But this is a free public site, and as you say, no one is here to teach someone to cook right. So I guess it’s fine to say “you’re wrong”. Either the person will ask why, or they will leave. Tough love….but no need to be surprised WHY some new users never participate or come back.