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Old 06-28-2011, 06:47 PM   #11
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Those are more good ideas. Also, Domestic Violence Shelter (can help with training women in domestic/cooking/cleaning/budgeting skills), CASA (court appointed volunteers enlisted to help kids in crisis, some training needed, a friend of mine did this in her 70s), Special Olympics, animal shelter, food pantry.

I guess the key is to get out and do something. Prayers for you!

She who dies with the most toys, wins.
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Old 06-29-2011, 02:28 AM   #12
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You have all my sympathy, nothing is worse than being alone. I struggled to find my feet after my first marriage ended too. I've been married to my second husband for just over 1 year now and find myself stuck in a similar possition. We've moved to Botswana and I have no friends or family near by. The kids are always playing at friends or at school, hubby works most of the time so it gets pretty lonely.
Maybe you can start a hobby that involves cooking? Maybe make preserves or bake cakes for birthdays etc. Maybe it will help income wise too.
When I'm alone and I have no one to cook for I make enough for 4 and freeze leftovers in containers for night when I don't feel like cooking.

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Old 06-29-2011, 03:06 AM   #13
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I'm happy to finally be alone and able to put myself first for a switch.

I'm almost 65 and retired on Social Security.

I do use my freezer, but it can get out of hand. Just making a simple dish adding a can of something, and mixing it with egg noodles is going to make 4 dinner size servings, so if you like to cook, use your freezer.

It's great to be able to pull out a yummy lasagna you made yourself without messing up the kitchen again.

I usually eat two of the dinners when it make my dish, and I immediately freeze the other two, and marking the bag or container.

If it's not all that good yet, I write "needs", and after I heat it up, I taste and usually can add another spice that makes a good soup great.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
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Old 06-29-2011, 05:23 AM   #14
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That's tough, but there are still so many things you can do and enjoy!!

You can take up a hobby, start a dinner club like Mama suggested, volunteer here and there (the help is aways appreciated), start gardening and growing your own.

You can also make jams and pickles and chutneys for the coming Christmas' and friends (my personal favourite in a stocking!) get involved with local clubs and events, join a few commitees. Take up the cause of a charity and get rallying and online (great way to meet lots of people) You could even start dog training and taking them to shows or training dogs for the blind.

There's a world of things to do so don't get too down hearted! You'll find something :) Good luck
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Old 06-29-2011, 08:48 AM   #15
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If you like cooking for a crowd, check out homeless shelters and churches that serve meals to the poor. In my community there are 2 churches that do this. One serves lunch so the "senior" ladies get together in the morning and cook up a nice warm meal. The other does supper. I've volunteered at both over the years. It's quite satisfying to work with good people and offer a needed service. While I am still married, I am an empty nester too. The year my youngest left for college, so did I! I entered a program at the local community college and learned a new skill and now work as a substitute sign language interpreter. It was something I always wanted to learn. It's not easy reinventing yourself after such dramatic life changes but it is possible to find some happiness. Perhaps start by speaking with your pastor or a counselor/therapist to help you rediscover yourself and those dreams you had that you gave up for your family.
I could give up chocolate but I'm no quitter!
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Old 06-29-2011, 09:58 AM   #16
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'member me!

Wow! Andy, you still 'member' me? Surprise and good memory you have! I am not walking much due to the weather being either rainy or too hot. Have to watch my blood pressure. Walking does help with blood pressure and that is reason why I cannot walk whenever I want. Kind of get dizzy.

These suggestions were all very good. I did not expect response so soon. Will take some work but what doesn't if you want good results? I believe I am going to start with a church I have started to attend. The 'older' people seem to always be there at same time I am. That's good thing. I just have to figure I am not the only one going through this odd time.

Volunteering seems to be the main suggestion that you gave me. I just feel that my son going into some kind of depression from losing job and have to take him into consideration. This hurts more than what I have to go through when it hits your child. Rejection is not fun and I know that is how he feels. What happened anyway to the proud US we were once part of? If you are employed it is like doing something you hate but cannot change.

I do thank all of you for suggestions. babetoo, I remember you. Weren't you the one who had cat and also had good friend in hospital? You really are faithful to this site, aren't you? Lot of friends here. I am going through Hospice with my brother which isn't always good. He can be quite mean when he isn't feeling good. Everyone at the home experiences it. However, I cannot say enough good things about Hospice. Treat him like he is family. Your suggestion of reading books appeals to me too.

The doctor tells me, as you have, been through a lot and to take it easy. How can you do this when you have the circumstances I do. Always on edge about tomorrow. Would be nice if we had some kind of financial security other than just Social Security.
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Old 06-29-2011, 01:38 PM   #17
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Jabber said it when she said "reinvent yourself". It's taken a couple of years of healing with more to go, but for me starting over in a whole new place was the answer. There was too much drama for me in Florida and it was making me crazy. I'm much more selective now when making new friends.

DC is a wonderful place to come when you're lonely or feeling bad. This place has also helped me rebuild my self esteem. Welcome back.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
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Old 06-29-2011, 02:58 PM   #18
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Hi, sorry to hear you're having a rough time of it. Life certainly does know how to dish it out sometimes. Have you thought about joining some social clubs?
My great auntie is 93 years old, she's been a widow for about 30 years now and her two children have families of their own so she now lives alone. She is an inspiration for everyone, she is such a positive woman.
She is a member of quite a few clubs and I can say she has a better social life than me.
Things will get better for you soon i'm sure. Best wishes
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Old 06-29-2011, 02:58 PM   #19
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You've probably never considered it, but the Wii game console is wonderful for us older folk...you can bowl, play tennis, baseball and even box without ever leaving your home. I know several older ladies who used to bowl in leagues together but they can't handle the weight of the bowling balls. Now, they all gather each week to Wii bowl! And that is something you can do on your own, too. I have the Wii Fit and like to keep challenging myself to do better. After the one-time purchase, it won't cost anything - unless you want to get more games! haha. Just a suggestion.

Best of luck to you and let us know how you are getting along. This is a wonderful board even for those of us who don't cook much!
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Old 06-29-2011, 03:10 PM   #20
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ITK how lovely to see you back! You've certainly gone through a lot in the last little while. I know what a dog lover you are, really all animals grab your heart don't they? What about volunteering at a vet's office to go give the animals that are boarded there a little walk or snuggle? I bet you could manage that. Usually you don't need to walk far, so your BP wouldn't be a problem. Or maybe you could volunteer to be a baby cuddler at the hospital. I bet you'd be wonderful at that.

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. Robin Williams
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