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Old 02-02-2011, 11:51 AM   #1
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Amusing Food Stories

Do you have an amusing food story?
I once worked in a retirement village. One elderly woman told me about the first turkey she ever cooked. She got a twenty pound bird at the butcher. Not knowing how to cook it she asked the butcher how much bread she would need to stuff a turkey that size. Jokingly he said about twenty loaves. So, trusting him she bought twenty loaves of bread. Can you imagine making that much stuffing and then discovering that it won't all fit in the bird? Well, I'm not very good at story telling. But I'll bet you are. What is your story?


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Old 02-02-2011, 12:27 PM   #2
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When I first joined up here, I posted a tale of a duck cooking we had at Rendezvous.
You might find it amusin'.
Howdy! Am new here.
You will have to scroll down a mite. It is along about reply #10.
Wow!!, It sure don't seem like I been reading and posting here since Aug. 2007.

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Old 02-02-2011, 12:42 PM   #3
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When I was age 8, I remember being
in San Francisco with my parents and
enjoying seafood at Fisherman's Wharf
which I thought was "Fisherman's Dwarf".

My kitchen is for dancing. Bring me sunshine in a cup. ~emily dickinson.
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Old 02-02-2011, 01:02 PM   #4
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I love the duck story. Made me think of another camping story.

While on a camping trip with the boy scouts, we had an amazing thing happen. We were at a campground, which doesn’t happen too often. Usually we were in the wilderness, but this trip was different. This was a “family” campout where we were in a campground at a lake (another thing that didn’t happen too much-here in Colorado we were usually in the mountains). There was a pavilion with a roof that was much too low. Upon entering, you had to duck your head or get a headache! Anyway…one of the dads (yes, a dad, not a scout) just couldn’t get that ducking thing right! He knocked his head a couple of times, but none of us were ready for what ultimately happened.
We had one of those big propane burners that you could place a giant pot of water on and it would boil really quick (even at high altitude). This was a really big hit with the scouts, and the dads for that matter (you know…boys like fire and sharp things). Anyway, we had one of those really big pans of water on there, and it was boiling pretty good. The dad (you know the one-he kept hitting his head) went and got his oven mitts to carry the big pot of BOILING WATER. He picked it up, and proceeded to carry it over to the picnic table UNDER THE LOW ROOF! Well…as you can guess, he ran right into that roof. It knocked him right flat on his back! What happened to the boiling water you ask? Did we need to use our first aid? Did we have to rush him to the hospital (which was at least 75 miles away)?. No…wait for it…This man who couldn’t remember to duck upon entering the pavilion had the quick thinking to pivot that huge pot of BOILING WATER 90 degrees and it landed on his lap. DIDN’T SPILL A DROP! We lifted it quickly off of him, and he wasn’t hurt. He did have a bit of a headache!

Oh I just love a story with a happy ending!
No matter where I serve my guests, it seems they like my kitchen best!
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Old 02-02-2011, 01:13 PM   #5
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My first bread making attempt was a total disaster. I was a young military wife with a year old son who sat patiently at the tabel watching Mommie make bread. I followed the recipie - I swear I did - but came the time to knead the dough. I "poured" it out on the table and it immediately began to ooze off the table. Well I yelled for help and between my husband and I, we managed to save most of the dough. He held a bowl under the edge of the table and chased the bread dough as it fell. Not to be defeated - I added even more flour and finally had a kneading consistency dough. I baked it and it came out about as high as a brick, weighed twice as much, but my husband ate it and told me how good it was. Frank threw his piece of bread across the kitchen - it shattered on the wall. Thank goodness for bread machines! (Frank, no turkey stories :p)
"Life is too short for ugly cowboys and slow horses."
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Old 02-02-2011, 02:02 PM   #6
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Mine involves Thanksgiving pies. It was the first Thanksgiving the whole family would be together after my parents moved. I was tasked with bringing the pies. I made the crusts with Grandpa's recipe. I followed the recipe on the Karo syrup bottle for the pecan pie and the recipe on the can of Libby's pumpkin for the pumpkin pie. I doubled the recipes thinking I'd have 2 of each which should be enough for the crew. Rolled out 4 pie crusts and mixed up the fillings. Poured the fillings in the pies. Had 4 pies but still had a lot of filling left. Made more crusts, bought more pie pans. Ended up with 7 pies out of recipes for 4! It was the year of the never ending pie baking. I still get ribbed about that year! They joke to not let me make the pies or we'll have nothing but pie to eat!
I could give up chocolate but I'm no quitter!
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Old 02-02-2011, 03:34 PM   #7
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I thought Hoot's story was cute so I copied it here:

I have an amusing story about my first time cooking a duck at Rendezvous.
I decided that I would try this at the Spring Rendezvous.
Not ever having cooked a duck before I wasn't sure how to go about it,
but I figgered that potatoes, onions and carrots are mighty good with beef, so they oughta go good with duck.
Well, I cut up the taters, onions and carrots and put them into a dutch oven.
I put the duck into the dutch oven and put the lid on.
I spread out some coals from the fire on the ground and put the dutch oven on the coals.
I dug more coals out of the fire pit and put them on the lid of the dutch oven.
well, after 20 or 30 minutes,I said "Hoot (that's what I call myself when I am talking to myself), you best check on that duck"
So I got a hook and lifted the lid just enough to see what was going on in the dutch oven.
Whatintheworld??? There ain't no duck in the pot!!
I put the lid back on and studied a bit.
I lifted the lid again....nope that dang duck ain't in there.
I immediately began to suspect skullduggery was afoot, so I looked around to see if anyone was watching me and laughing.
Nope..now I am puzzled.
I lift the lid again and there ain't nothin in the pot but taters, carrots and onions.
"Where the H*** is my duck???" I said, rather loudly.
My cousin, Marty, who was sittng off to one side, looked over and said.
"Hoot, your duck is stuck to the lid!!" I raised the lid up high enough to see underneath and looked and, sure enough, there was my duck!!!
Well it took me and Marty, a camp fork and a spatula to pry that duck off that lid.
I put the duck back in the dutch oven and after a few more additions of
coals on top and bottom, over the next hour and a half or so, it was done!
And let me tell y'all, it was mighty fine eatin'.
Just goes to show ya that you never get too old to see stuff and learn things you never knew!
We had many a laugh over that.
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Old 02-02-2011, 03:35 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by LindaZ View Post
(Frank, no turkey stories :p)
There's always meatloaf.
"First you start with a pound of bologna..."
-My Grandmother on how to make ham salad.
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Old 02-02-2011, 03:44 PM   #9
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I posted one about a week ago.

The French Misconnection!

Maybe not amazing, but a lesson learned.

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Old 02-02-2011, 03:57 PM   #10
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Craig, next time French/English dictionary!

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