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Old 01-21-2016, 06:57 PM   #1
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Question What Is The Correct Food Etiquette After A Death?

A neighbor of ours passed away and we have been invited to a
Memorial Open House next week. I am assuming that is the day that the family will be interning their loved one.
I've never been to one of these and I'm not sure what to do.
Do I take a dish, like say a tray of appetizers?

Also, I'd like to take a casserole over to the family (the son and daughter arrived last night), but we were not particularly friendly with Mrs. Neighbor, just Mr. Neighbor. I was thinking that taking a "covered dish" over to the family would be a nice gesture too; I know one one does this any more, but ...

Thoughts?

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Old 01-21-2016, 07:04 PM   #2
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What Is The Correct Food Etiquette After A Death?

When my dad died, folks brought brownies, pies, casseroles. We had a funeral for him. Way more food than we could ever use! When my mom died, a good friend brought a lasagna in an aluminum foil pan, a lovely salad, and a bottle of dressing, then stayed to share it with us. That made it very special. We sprinkled Mom's ashes off of her beloved lake without a formal funeral.

Little ham sandwiches, egg salad sammies, some salad would probably be welcome.
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Old 01-21-2016, 07:12 PM   #3
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You're a sweetheart Kgirl. A covered dish right now would be very welcomed for arriving family. The day of the open house they may be having catered, but maybe not. When you take over the covered dish, you might be able to find out, and go from there. If it's being catered, I would take something like a plate of cookies or finger food sweets.
Customs vary around the country, but that would be a good bet for the south west.
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Old 01-21-2016, 07:14 PM   #4
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Take a look at this thread for some ideas.

What to bring to a family who has lost a loved one.
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Old 01-21-2016, 08:21 PM   #5
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Thanks for that link AB. I read through all of it again, and it did me good.
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Old 01-21-2016, 09:03 PM   #6
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Last time we went to something like that, we brought a sandwich tray from Jimmy John's (Italian sandwiches). They come neatly arranged on a covered platter and it comes with mustard, mayo, napkins. They can eat the sandwiches cold or warm them up.

A casserole should be fine, too, or some macaroni salad, etc...
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Old 01-21-2016, 10:47 PM   #7
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This couldn't be more timely. My neighbor, Avery, passed away unexpectedly in her sleep early this week. Avery and Walt have been married for over 50 years, and I'm sure Walt is beside himself with grief.

They've had a lot of visiting relatives, but there will come a time soon that they'll all have to travel back home to their own families. I've been reading through this thread, and AB's link. I'm getting some good ideas here of how to help this poor man deal with his loss - especially with food, disposable dinnerware and such, and help carrying on in the household.
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Old 01-21-2016, 10:57 PM   #8
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What Is The Correct Food Etiquette After A Death?

Very good link, AB. So sad to hear about your friend, Cheryl. I think the Jimmy John's sammie idea is a really good one, jd. Leftovers can be frozen. You could probably do the same with Subway or another local sammie shop. One of our Chinese restaurants here sells cooked egg rolls in bulk. We went to a local concert where it was bring your own food to share, and a friend brought the egg rolls. They disappeared fast.
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Old 01-21-2016, 11:21 PM   #9
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Now there's a though Dawg!
I've got some of finger foods in the deep freeze:
Vegetable Lumpia
TJ's Pastry Bites
Shumai

I could put together a "Nibble tray"

...and DH and I were just talking about stuffed shells last night, I could make up a double batch, one for us and one the visiting family members of the dearly departed; some garlic bread and a salad, some paper plates and plastic forks all done up in a nice box.
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Old 01-21-2016, 11:36 PM   #10
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Sounds like a good plan, K-Girl!
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