Alcoholic?

[Katie H]

Its ****. And its not logical. Every day is a challenge. If I could find it and smash it I would. Its messed up my llife in so man ways.
Before alcohol my life was ****. The stuff I've been through has been like knife in the heart. Maybe thats why I drink. If I wrote a book no one would believe it.

Okay, sush! You've dumped a...load. And, yes, it's a load. Listen to your universe...and others who are telling you. Clean up and seek help.

A book? We all could write a book, so give that up.

You've started another thread on this board (Doctor Who), which tells me you have the ability to focus elsewhere.

As I said some time ago, take a shower and get yourself to someone who will help you. Taking care of yourself should be your primary focus before meeting women, etc.

 

[amber]

sush, if you want to meet women, and get a job, and stop drinking, just do it. period.

if you want to be a loser, then continue on with drinking. it's as simple as that. look in the mirror everyday, set a goal of what you want to accomplish, and just get through that one day.

and please don't think you're the only one who fights daily battles. gimme a break.

flip the page, man, this book is getting boring.

buckytom, an alcoholic does not just "stop drinking and "do it". I found your above comments very rude and insensitive towards Deadly Sushi when you called him a loser. If you want to flip the page, then dont read this thread I suppose. Funny how so many come to this thread though. Finding something in themselves, a glitch perhaps, or a way to help, but either way, it seems to be a compelling thread, yes because we care, but most of the posts are sort of negative in nature. All I can say is if you dont like the thread, dont post.

 

[Corey123]

The best thing that he can do at this point is to find and check himself into a detoxification center and stay there for as long as it takes for a drying out.

Then he should go to AA meetings and get some theropy and counciling. And hopefully stay away from alcohol altogether!

Yes buckytom, I agree with amber. Calling DS a loser or any other words that hurt is NOT the answer. That only causes him to sink even more. Give him the same respect that you'd want for yourself. Be firm, but don't cdall him any names.

 

[buckytom]

amber and corey, i didn't just flat out call sush a loser. did you read my post more than once before you posted with your replies? it's a good habit to get into just to be sure that you're reading someone right. i do that so i don't get on someone for the wrong reasons.

amber, you've often read me the wrong way.

i SAID if he wants to BE a loser (no job, no gf, no life except to sit at home and drink. what do you call that?), then to keep on drinking. he's obviously miserable, and wants to straighten out his act. coddling, hugs, and even logic doesn't seem to work. so i laid it out for him. with both advice and disgust.

i didn't just say things to be mean. i'd love sush to get back on his feet and be the funny guy that we all met a while ago. if i didn't like him in some way (sorry to be talking about you in the second person, man), i would have ignored the thread.

and yes amber, the only way for most people to stop drinking is to stop, and take things one day at a time. one goal, each day, no drinking.

then you can rebuild your life.

 

[suzyQ3]

amber and corey, i didn't just flat out call sush a loser. did you read my post more than once before you posted with your replies? it's a good habit to get into just to be sure that you're reading someone right. i do that so i don't get on someone for the wrong reasons.

amber, you've often read me the wrong way.

i SAID if he wants to BE a loser (no job, no gf, no life except to sit at home and drink. what do you call that?), then to keep on drinking. he's obviously miserable, and wants to straighten out his act. coddling, hugs, and even logic doesn't seem to work. so i laid it out for him. with both advice and disgust.

i didn't just say things to be mean. i'd love sush to get back on his feet and be the funny guy that we all met a while ago. if i didn't like him in some way (sorry to be talking about you in the second person, man), i would have ignored the thread.

and yes amber, the only way for most people to stop drinking is to stop, and take things one day at a time. one goal, each day, no drinking.

then you can rebuild your life.

First of all, neither you nor GB have been rude or insensitive one bit. If anything, I think you've both exhibited a good deal of patience with a person who should be grateful that, after so regularly publicizing personal aspects of his life, others take the time to weigh in with sound advice and not just Oh, Woe is You pablum.

Second of all, and related to said repeated publications, maybe such venting is actually detrimental in this case. Maybe it has become, if not an addiction in and of itself, a kind of crutch. Maybe DS should forgo the keyboard and face his situation head-on in a Real Life way. Just a thought.

 

[rbmccleary]

My father is an alcoholic so this disease has affected me my entire life. My Dad is one of the coolest guys I've ever met. He's funny, smart, talented in alot of different ways, and just a nice guy. That being said he drinks everyday just to stay normal. He's tried to quit many times and when he has went AA and church. He gets the shakes and breaks out in some kind of rashes. As a little girl it was a horrible thing to see my Dad go through and then always fail. It was the reason my parents divorced. Usually he would drink all day long and for the most part you can barely tell. He is what I think is called a high functioning alcoholic. Never lost a job or even a dui. But freqeuntly once he got home he would start slamming them down. Then he became a different person. This person was mean and even at times would not even know who I was. Now when I see him he always has a cooler in the bed of his truck filled with only beer. My Dad had a heart attack a couple of years ago and for what ever reason I didn't find out that it happen until almost a year later. I think he thought his wife called me and that I must of not cared b\c I didn't come see him. I call my Dad everyday now b\c I'm so scared that he is going to die and I won't even know.

I know that you can't do this on your own and you are going to have get a prefessional to help you. I think it's really brave of you to come on here and lay everything out the way you have. Please take the next step. I hope to come on here and see that you are sober and start counting the days with you. You have a wonderful happy life that's waiting for you to start living it.

I hope my going on and on about my Dad was helpful and not strange or anything.

 

[Corey123]

amber and corey, i didn't just flat out call sush a loser. did you read my post more than once before you posted with your replies? it's a good habit to get into just to be sure that you're reading someone right. i do that so i don't get on someone for the wrong reasons.

amber, you've often read me the wrong way.

i SAID if he wants to BE a loser (no job, no gf, no life except to sit at home and drink. what do you call that?), then to keep on drinking. he's obviously miserable, and wants to straighten out his act. coddling, hugs, and even logic doesn't seem to work. so i laid it out for him. with both advice and disgust.

i didn't just say things to be mean. i'd love sush to get back on his feet and be the funny guy that we all met a while ago. if i didn't like him in some way (sorry to be talking about you in the second person, man), i would have ignored the thread.

and yes amber, the only way for most people to stop drinking is to stop, and take things one day at a time. one goal, each day, no drinking.

then you can rebuild your life.

Yes I DID read your post more than once, and it DOES say if he wants to be a loser.

 

[GB]

That is his point though Corey. Bucky did not say he is a loser. He said if he wants to be a loser.

Amber said that Bucky called sushi a loser which is incorrect. Bucky never called him a loser at all.

 

[Corey123]

I apoligize for the mix-up.

 

[buckytom]

thanks gb and suzyq.

i was trying to be careful when wording that so it wouldn't be misunderstood, but, oh well.

sush, my point is still the same. you need to be tough on yourself, and put your mind to what you want to be, then do it. no one would have responded if we didn't think you were capable or worthy of it.

now, don't be a loser.

 

[D_Blackwell]

I dont want sympathy. Im posting this so people know about my addiction. And maybe someone can relate.

is a disease

Yes, but also an excuse. Deal with it.

If you are ready to quit, ready to do the things that need to be done - you will find, and deserve, plenty of support; and will eventually discover how much of that comes from within. If you aren't ready, then it would be unproductive for anyone involved to waste their time. There is nothing that can be done for someone that isn't committed tough it out doing the day-by-day, and even minute-by-minute work that sobriety requires.

I am approaching twenty years clean, and it will never be long enough.

The best thing that can happen is to hit bottom, as I did. I am completely clean, and don't have to worry about any gray areas of what I can or cannot do. I feel worst for those that can 'control' their excesses just well enough to keep job and family 'together', yet lead ruined lives, paving the way for their children to do the same.

 

[Alix]

D Blackwell, good for you! 20 years is quite an accomplishment.

And to the rest of you a short side note. Deadly Sushi, GB, and Buckytom have a history much longer than the rest of you probably know. It is because of this that their words may seem harsher to those of you who don't know the history they share. Those of us who have been with the site from nearly the beginning know each other fairly well by now.

And for my two cents. Sushi dear, you know we love you, you know we care. YOU need to care enough about yourself to do something about this. Thats it in a nutshell.

 

[skilletlicker]

I don't have anything constructive to say to the original poster.

I would like to share some thoughts with those who are replying to this thread. I don't really know or care if the original poster is married or has children. The following is based on my experiences.

It is very easy to unwittingly become an emotional enabler online. In the real world there are limits that are eventually imposed as a consequence of the irrational actions and demands of the addict/alcoholic. In the virtual world a child never suffers the abandonment of not being picked up on Friday of "Dad's weekend". Some of you seem to think Dad deserves succor for having the "courage" of posting a few half true, self absolving sentences. In fact I think he just craves attention and understanding. Problematically, he wants us to understand and pay attention to the fellow that he imagines he would be, were it not for all his problems.

The fact is that the whole "real" world is judging us on what we really are and do; not on what we imagine we could be, and might do.

I said I had no words for deadly sushi. Well, I do. Seek out a guy like D Blackwell, you know where to find him, with the intent of learning from him, not teaching him anything about you or anything else.

 

[Corey123]

I was never even an alcoholic and I gave up drinking, mainly because it makes you gain weight, and there is no nutrishional value in it.

Also, because I've got health issues and that I on so much medicine, I just can't take chances and end up having a relapse of the illness I was diagnosed with, and also, I'm a diabetic.

 

[Katie H]

Okay, here it is in a nutshell. Sushi...quit begging for attention. Understand that there are people who love you and want you to "get on with it."

Now, after falling on your face (and you will) grab yourself out of the slime and seek help.

Have you had enough attention? Now, crawl to the phone and....ASK FOR HELP.

I AM, AND MOST OF US HERE ARE DONE WITH OFFERING ASSISTANCE. (All caps, to get your attention.)

Been there. Got the t-shirt.

 

[-DEADLY SUSHI-]

Okay, here it is in a nutshell. Sushi...quit begging for attention. Understand that there are people who love you and want you to "get on with it."

Now, after falling on your face (and you will) grab yourself out of the slime and seek help.

Have you had enough attention? Now, crawl to the phone and....ASK FOR HELP.

I AM, AND MOST OF US HERE ARE DONE WITH OFFERING ASSISTANCE. (All caps, to get your attention.)

Been there. Got the t-shirt.

Crawl??? Begging for attention? HUH?!?!? How much do you think I drink?
Ill tell you. Once or twice a week. And very very rarely do I black out OR crawl.
Also, who is BEGGING for attention?! I dont understand that at ALL. Its responses like that, that make me wish I never even posted my problem.
Can some mod please delete this whole thread?

 

[GB]

Crawl??? Begging for attention? HUH?!?!? How much do you think I drink?
Ill tell you. Once or twice a week.

OK you are joking right??? You come on here and admit that you are an alcoholic and then you get upset when someone assumes you drink and you try to play it off like you only drink once in a while??? and THEN you try to say it is not a call for attention. DS you need to wake up. Look at how many people have told you to wake up in this thread. Do you really think that all these people are wrong and that you are right?

You come here admitting a problem, but then don't want to hear it when people tell you that you need to do something for yourself to get help. If you were not just looking for attention then just what exactly did you expect to get out of this thread?

I am not going to pull this thread. No one has broken any rules. You just do not like what you are hearing. You will have to face the consequences of your actions. If another admin or mod wants to pull it then they will, but I will not contribute to you feeling sorry for yourself and not getting your way of having people say oh poor sushi here is a hug.

 

[-DEADLY SUSHI-]

To be fair there are several types of alcoholics.
Im not a crawler. I rarely black out. I drink too often. During holidays its everyday. 3 or 4 days strait. When its just a regular week I drink 1 or 2 times a week. BEFORE AA I was drinking almost every day and forgetting what I did the night before.
Yes Im an alcoholic. But I dont need a shoulder to cry on. I have my support group.
It really frustrates me to have someone think thats why I wrote this thread! Especially after I made it clear I did NOT write this thread for that reason.
I had someone encorage me to write about my problems. And I hoped that it would open a small floodgate of people that ALSO have addictions. So we can talk about it.
Some people DO need a hug. (Eva Longoria Im here if you need me ) And some people DO need a support group and someone to talk too.
When I wrote this thread I had that in mind. That along with lots of beer and a fun evening of self loathing.
But youre darn tootin' right when I read:

Have you had enough attention? Now, crawl to the phone and....ASK FOR HELP.

Maybe she was trying to motivate me. Maybe it would 'sound' better if she was on the phone talking to me. But written out it just sounds horrible.
I would like to answer more questions before folks throw out 'tough love'. Maybe there really isnt any more alcoholics on here to speak out.

 

[amber]

OK you are joking right??? You come on here and admit that you are an alcoholic and then you get upset when someone assumes you drink and you try to play it off like you only drink once in a while??? and THEN you try to say it is not a call for attention. DS you need to wake up. Look at how many people have told you to wake up in this thread. Do you really think that all these people are wrong and that you are right?

You come here admitting a problem, but then don't want to hear it when people tell you that you need to do something for yourself to get help. If you were not just looking for attention then just what exactly did you expect to get out of this thread?

I am not going to pull this thread. No one has broken any rules. You just do not like what you are hearing. You will have to face the consequences of your actions. If another admin or mod wants to pull it then they will, but I will not contribute to you feeling sorry for yourself and not getting your way of having people say oh poor sushi here is a hug.

I agree with sushi that this thread should be pulled. He respectfully requested that from mods.

Amber

 

[sydfan]

Addiction sucks. It becomes your god. It's all you can think about and anything that gets in the way of it makes you mad as heck. I've had several addictions in my life, but the most difficult were pain killers. I still jones for them 4 years later.

Good luck sushi. You have to really want to stop, otherwise you won't. It's really as simple as that.