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Old 06-25-2008, 04:47 PM   #21
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I did long distance with Nick from Aug 2007 to January 2008 driving 3 1/2 hours one way every weekend to see him.
OK, this is intended to make you feel better. I've been in a long distance relationship for almost 3 years. We are together maybe 4 times a year, 10 days at a time. I leave Sat to see him, then I won't see him until Christmas. Consider yourself lucky!!!!!!!
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Old 06-25-2008, 07:13 PM   #22
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Lulu, thank you for the amazing outlook on this.. I really appreciate it. I don't have much time to spend here tonight but I will be back tomorrow to check in.

Loprraine, when I first saw your post I laughed because I remembered the board about usernames - and remembered that you said you mispelled it - so..

Lorraine - You have a strong spirit to do that and I commend you for it wholeheartedly. You are an amazing woman.
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Old 06-25-2008, 07:57 PM   #23
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You will be just fine. Meanwhile as the others have said concentrate on your job then maybe fix your apt the way you and he will like it. Treat yourself to some fresh flowers and other treats now and then. Another idea is if you both don't have Skype then get it and a web cam you both will be able to see each other and talk every day and it's free after you get the equipment which is really cheap. Look at it as an adventure. Just know he will miss you as much as you miss him. Also be sure to eat right and sleep well do not lose sleep missing him it could really affect your learning to master this job. I have also had long distance relationships. Oh and another thing take a couple of his shirts the button down type with a shirt tail and whatever else to wear around the apt and to sleep in it will give you comfort. Go into this excited not sad after all you are doing this for the both of you.
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Old 06-25-2008, 08:04 PM   #24
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I'm living back home in SF with my roomy until my husband joins me in October. I know exactly how you feel but the time will fly right by! Before you know it you will be together again! Hog the bed and TV remote while you can!!!

Good luck with the new job!
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Old 06-25-2008, 11:02 PM   #25
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Saphellae, I know just how you're feeling, but sometimes it takes a little perspective to see that your situation really isn't that bad. When I get to feeling angry or upset about my health status, it helps to remember that there's always someone who is worse off than I am, so in comparison, my problems really aren't that bad. (I hope that doesn't come across wrong - I'm certainly not happy or relieved that there are others with worse problems, but it helps me keep from feeling sorry for myself.)

DH was in the Navy for four years, beginning a year after we were married - we were separated for about 2.5 years of that, including two 6-month deployments (one stretched to seven months). There was no such thing as email at that time. Occasional letters and even less-frequent phone calls were all we had.

And now, my much-younger sister is living with a man who is an Army medic. On July 15, he's going to a training camp and by the end of the month, will probably be in Iraq, going on patrols. Imagine what *she's* feeling now.

You won't have the physical closeness that you're used to with Nick, but at least you won't have to worry about his life being in danger, or months going by before you hear from him. Be strong - it's not that bad
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Old 06-26-2008, 12:27 AM   #26
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Wait a minute. Not to be insensative or anything, but don't I remember not 2 short weeks ago you were miserable about being poor, unemployed and hated your living quarters?
And been giving Katie words to keep a stiff upper lip?
Now you have 2 homes, a new job, and will be making more than you did before, and still have the love of your life, family and friend that are closer. 3 months. What's 3 months?
Why will hubby have to stay in Quebec the whole time? It seems to me he could be with you (not you him) alot of the time.

And hasn't this all been what the two of you both have been working for? It's just another step in the process.
I don't think there's a job in the world that doesn't have a down side. (I love to cook and eat, but hate the clean-up. So what?
It's part of the process)
It's all a means to and end. Take what TanyaK and GotGarlic said.
Which would you prefer? Staying miserable, like you were, or the fear that you will be?

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Old 06-26-2008, 10:59 AM   #27
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I know I said that it was what I wanted
I'm quite aware of what I said. On Sunday morning, I was under the impression that Nick and I would be leaving together. On Sunday evening, he told me that he was staying behind at his current job until he could get a teaching job, which puts us to at least October. We had already chosen an apartment together and signed the papers to be put through.

I know that people have it worse - there is usually always someone who has it worse, no matter what happens - but it doesn't stop someone from feeling the way that they feel. It doesn't change the fact that I am still going to be sleeping alone, I will be cooking for one, etc. Yes, the the idea gets easier as time goes by, but only to a certain point. Yes, I feel that it is important for me to go, which is why I'm not calling my new job and telling them I'm not coming. I know I am paving the road for us, but I'm not saying it will be an easy road to make.

As someone told me, knowing you are leaving for the time before you actually leave is the worst part of the process. I know that once I leave and am settled I will be able to turn my full attention to my career and show them what I've got. It will get easier, but we will still miss the hell out of each other, even more so when we lay down at night to sleep.



GG, I know a little bit about how you feel. My dad was away for most of the time I was growing up. As a result our relationship suffered alot. I also saw how hard it was on my Mother. Nick was considering joining regular force (he is reserves right now) but I talked him out of it and showed him the benefits of teaching in Ontario, which are comparable and don't include the moving every three years, deployment, and hardships.
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Old 06-26-2008, 11:17 AM   #28
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Now I'm glad for your response. It sounds alittle perterbed at me and that's good. It snaps you out of your "depression".
They say if you look in the mirror and smile, especially when you don't want to, just the mire physical act changes your mood alittle.
So smile at yourself and be happy with yourself that you've made a good decision. One day you may have a daughter you'll have to give the same advise to. And you'll have yourself as a roll model.

Glad to see your mood seems to have changed a little.
Keep it up.
I'm happy for you.
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Old 06-26-2008, 11:20 AM   #29
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Nick and I talked all night last night, and that has helped my mood. I'm still going to be sad when I leave, but we are not taking advantage of the time we have together, we never have as we are no stranger to the long distance thing.
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Old 06-26-2008, 11:55 AM   #30
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Good for you!

Also, I learn more and more that WE are in control of how we feel. Bad, sad and terrible things hapen to us and of course they make us feel bad, sad and terrible, but we CAN take action against them, by replacing them, however grudingly, with positive actions so that eventually the positive erodes the negative. :) Its about turning lemons into lemonade. :)
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