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Old 06-20-2008, 11:43 AM   #1
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Feline Physics Laws

Feline Physics Laws




Law of Cat Inertia

A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.


Law of Cat Motion

A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.


Law of Cat Magnetism

All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.


Law of Cat Thermodynamics

Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.


Law of Cat Stretching

A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.


Law of Cat Sleeping

All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.


Law of Cat Elongation

A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.


Law of Cat Obstruction

A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.


Law of Cat Acceleration

A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.


Law of Dinner Table Attendance

Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.


Law of Rug Configuration

No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.


Law of Obedience Resistance

A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.


First Law of Energy Conservation

Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.


Second Law of Energy Conservation

Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.


Law of Refrigerator Observation

If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.


Law of Electric Blanket Attraction

Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.


Law of Random Comfort Seeking

A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.


Law of Bag/Box Occupancy

All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.


Law of Cat Embarrassment

A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.


Law of Milk Consumption

A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.


Law of Furniture Replacement

A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.


Law of Cat Landing

A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid- section of an unsuspecting, reclining human.


Law of Fluid Displacement

A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.


Law of Cat Disinterest

A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.


Law of Pill Rejection

Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.


Law of Cat Composition

A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.

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Old 06-20-2008, 11:47 AM   #2
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Lmbo. So true. So very very true.
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Old 06-20-2008, 01:09 PM   #3
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I particularly like this one:

"Law of Cat Embarrassment

A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter. "

When I catch my cat doing something silly and I laugh at him, he starts to wash himself with vehemence. Call it anthropomorphism, but I'm sure he's embarassed and is trying to act nonchalant.

Anyone else experience that with their cats?

Lee
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Old 06-20-2008, 03:13 PM   #4
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cats are wonderful. an endless source of laughter. my thomas , after a mishap, looks at me as if to say. "i planned that".

babe
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Old 06-20-2008, 04:15 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QSis View Post
I particularly like this one:

"Law of Cat Embarrassment

A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter. "

When I catch my cat doing something silly and I laugh at him, he starts to wash himself with vehemence. Call it anthropomorphism, but I'm sure he's embarassed and is trying to act nonchalant.

Anyone else experience that with their cats?

Lee
Most definitely!! So it wasn't just my Oliver
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Old 06-20-2008, 07:46 PM   #6
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Law of Bag/Box Occupancy

All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.


Lol kinda like this?
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Old 06-20-2008, 07:52 PM   #7
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Too funny, love the cat in the box!
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Old 06-20-2008, 08:19 PM   #8
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Law of Bag/Box Occupancy

All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

Ha,Ha my one cat Snoopy has a card board box radar he will wake from a deep nap and is in the box in yep a nanosecond . What is it with cats and boxes,bags,baskets etc?
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Old 06-20-2008, 08:26 PM   #9
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One of my high school teachers said I was a closet athlete, and I had 'Cat-Like' agilities. When the smoke cleared, I figured out what he was saying.
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Old 06-21-2008, 08:02 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Maverick2272 View Post
Too funny, love the cat in the box!

Lol, that's my cat Cricket, she will randomly get in the box, sit there a few minutes then get out. It's like she needs her box "fix" for the day.
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