Goodweed, Buckytom, Gin, Glitter, and Karma...the thick plottens...

[buckytom]

did ya ever try to break up a fight between 2 irish brothers?

they'll both turn on you, and then you're up the creek.

trebuchet it is, my brother. man, you must have some good ordinance ready to require such a weapon. (umm, sauce de poisson sounds like it could be good on jambalaya. what is it?)

i'll leave the mechanical engineering to you. i'll jam their tv's to only receive commercials for sugary cereals and loud, obnoxious toys. mwahahahaaaa.

 

[pdswife]

Hey Bucky...how was the birthday dinner??

 

[buckytom]

heya pds, my little buddy just wanted to stay home. i think he's coming down with something. so with a lot on the schedule for the next week, we took it easy.

i did give him his fishing rod, and all choked up remebering me and my dad in my childhood home's driveway, put the same heavy 1970's turquoise earring (one of my sis's ) on the end of the line and taught him how to cast. it was great!!!!!! got it all on tape.

soon, we'll start trying to cast into buckets around the yard, same way i was taught.

btw, thanks to everyone for their b'day wishes for him. karma is on the way.

now back to the siege!

 

[B'sgirl]

i'll leave the mechanical engineering to you. i'll jam their tv's to only receive commercials for sugary cereals and loud, obnoxious toys. mwahahahaaaa.

Ha! I don't have a TV!

 

[Maverick2272]

I have a very large collection of movies....

 

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

Sauce de Poisson - fish sauce, in French..., really stinky stuff, but when used properly, adds great flavor to rice noodles and stir fry.

So they don't have TV, eh? Well Bucky, fire up the loudspeakers and we'll hit 'em with Wayne Newton music non-stop until they beg to feed us swordfish and ribeyes.

And I'm loading up the trebuchettes with a mixture of overcooked okra and Insanity Sauce in one, and 75 lbs. of crumbled limburgher, mixed in with raw chopped-liver in the other. Mooohoowahahahaha.

Seeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

 

[B'sgirl]

Don't you worry, Mav, I can counter that. My exchange student came home with a supply of tripe and his Chinese buddies are going to come through with giblets, hearts, pig snout/hooves, and chicken feet. We can fight their nasty fish sauce and liver, ha!

As for the music, I'll fire back with DH's polka and a bit of Dr. Jean, heh, heh!

 

[Maverick2272]

BT is from Joisey.. I image there is not much in the way of bad smells he doesn't have at his disposal to throw at us!!


Something tells me hes gonna get me for that one...

 

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

Don't you worry, Mav, I can counter that. My exchange student came home with a supply of tripe and his Chinese buddies are going to come through with giblets, hearts, pig snout/hooves, and chicken feet. We can fight their nasty fish sauce and liver, ha!

As for the music, I'll fire back with DH's polka and a bit of Dr. Jean, heh, heh!

Hey BT! They're giving us the ingrediants for hot dogs and potted meat.

These guys are beginners. I know where I can get my hands on some human odor mask that's used by hunters, on the soles and back heels of their boots. You can get it in either fox urine, or skunk, which both smell about the same, and are extremely hard to get rid of. And I've go some surgical rubber gloves and a good metal funnel that we can use to fill the balloons. Oh, and from when I worked for Lockheed, I have a two cartridge filter mask that will protect agains organic compounds, most chemicals, and bad smells. I saw the same thing on sale at our local hardware store. I'll get you one too.

That polka music is dangerous though. We'll have to pick up some noise-cancelling headphones. You got any good tunes we can throw at them from old Dr. Dimento shows?

Seeeeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

 

[Maverick2272]

Ok B'sgirl, time we got serious on these guys.... break out the Yoddeling!! I can also dig out a bunch of my grandfathers records as well as a Pink Panther Country Music record for the record player!!
As for the gas masks, change our plans and put poison ivy in with the water ballons.. if we can't out stink em send off itching!!!!

 

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

For poison ivy, poison oak, or poison sumack to be effective, the plant oils that are contained in the leaves need to come into contact with the skin. And even then, if you wash quickly with plenty of water, and a good grease-cutting soap, like Dawn Dish detergent, the chances of irritation is minimal. I and a host of boy scouts found ourselves literally wrestling in poison ivy, in our swim suits. When our scoutmaster saw what was happening, he ordered us into the lake (Lake Superior). Not one of us were affected in any way.

Bucky, this rain slicker and broad brimmed rain hat will protect you. Sorry 'bout the color. I know the bright yellow makes us look jaundiced, but we're not posing for pictures anyhoo.

Now, let's see. They're throwing potentially irritating chemicals our way, via poison ivy plants. Hmmmm. Naw, we can't do that. There are kids in the house. What say we just set up the water canon and douse them with ice water. We'll fill up the house, flush 'em out into the open, where we can hit them up close and personal with the skunk juice.

Seeeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

 

[B'sgirl]

Bucky, this rain slicker and broad brimmed rain hat will protect you. Sorry 'bout the color. I know the bright yellow makes us look jaundiced, but we're not posing for pictures anyhoo.

Says who? We've got satellites. How do you think we are going to override all your sound equipment with old Rod Stewart tunes?

Maverick, as for the water balloons, they seem to have a solution for the poisons. We may have to resort to sending vast quantities of termites their way. Are their any pests that can seriously damage cooking equipment? I think we need to invest in some of those. We can send aphids, slugs, and grasshoppers to take care of their gardens. I seem to have a poison-resistant variety in mine we can send them.

 

[expatgirl]

You two cowboys amaze me..............still riding off into the sunset..........

 

[buckytom]

That polka music is dangerous though. We'll have to pick up some noise-cancelling headphones.
Seeeeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

i say we just go with it.

up for a polka, gw?

deeeeeeeee deeeeeeeee deet
diddley diddley
deet diddley diddley...

we'll just wait 'em out, that's the best part of a seige.

lol about the hot dogs. that's exactly what i was thinking.

just think mav; if you eat or spray just about anything with artificial flavors or fragrances, it was made with the water downstream from where umm, the effluence shall we say, of my house goes...

 

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

I'm with ya Bucky. We'll just wait 'em out. They're young and inexperienced at this kind of stuff. Meanwhile, I've got this floorless tent kind of thing. It's a portable ice shack that sets up in a snap. It'll keep whatever off of us while we're cooking. I'll borrow the DW's mini tv/dvd player and bring some tunes. I'm thinking some good hobo dinners, or maybe some brats, or even a pot of chili would be good. You bring the portable fridge and beverages for yourself. I'll be drinking fruit smoothies myself.

And as for our basically unarmed, and unimaginative opponants, I think we should load the trebuchets and start firing. Oh, and I have made a concoction of Gorilla Glue and Vaseline that we can load into the balloons, with a firecracker or two, to create an airburst over their rides. That'll gum up the windows, door handles, etc. Claenaing their cars will keep 'em busy for a while, out in the open, so we have a clear shot with the skunk juice balloons.

And their sattelites, we just have to sample their sending frequencies, fire off a 180 degree out of phase signal to the same sattelites and they have just lost communications. Yep. It's true. I am an Electronic Engineering Technologist (or so says my Bachelor's Degree). It won't be hard to disable these ametures. Besides, we'll be in the tent. They can't photograph what they can't see.

It's so good to have such a wide range of interests. It gives you a lot to draw upon in times like this.

Seeeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

 

[B'sgirl]

You are forgetting we have China on our side--the Chinese can override any satellite signal there is out there so you can say goodbye to your DVD player and tunes. And have you heard of those new security x-ray machines? They most certainly will be able to see through your tent.

You'll never hit my car, but I'd appreciate it if you'd aim something really destructive right at my kitchen. Then maybe my insurance would pay for me to replace the badly-built cupboards in there.

And Mav, since they actually seem willing to eat tripe and pig snout, they will probably end up with some nasty stomach worms. We need to cut off their supply of remedies for that sort of thing. And don't let them near any makings for hot sauce. And don't let them tell you we don't have ammo--I've got an unlimited supply of dirty diapers and rags used to clean up vomit from the kid's illness. They'll never survive those. Bwoo-ha-ha!

 

[Maverick2272]

If the polka doesn't stop em, just hand me a guitar, that screeching will stop anything! Then there is my singing, been known to cause all kinds of maladies and seizures...
I say our best bet is to hire a couple of chefs and just feed em their favorite foods non-stop until they're too stuffed to move anymore.
Don't worry about yer car B'sgirl, that is what a garage is for, LOL. Put it in there and it will be nice and safe.
But I agree, if they are gonna aim anything destructive at us, it better hit my bathroom and my kitchen! And if all else fails, send the Chinese out with their pots and pans and instructions to take anything they find and turn into food to serve GW and BT!

 

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

You must have AMATURE stamped on your foreheads. For the X-Ray machine to work, first, you must get very close as x-rays are a form of electro-magnetic energy where the strength of the beam attenuates by the square of the distance. I can gaurantee that you won't get very close. As for the food (tripe and such), I need only freeze it to below -10 F. to kill off tapeworms, or heat it to 160 to kill off any other little nasties. And since the hot dogs will be cooked to an internal temp of about 190' F, I'd say we've got nothing to worry about.

And those diapers and such don't have the mass/volume ratio to hurl to our distance. Friction with the air will overcome their inertia long before they reach us. You will simply end up with a yard full of dirty diapers.

Oh, and the Chinese are a very proud and noble society. They wouldn't hook up with you. They would dismiss your efforts as foolilshness. And besides, between BT and myself, we can cook up whatever kind of food suits their pallate, and then some. And you know what they say, an army lives on its stomach. All you have to offer is twinkies and spam! Ahhhahahahah!

One more thing, our entertainment is a function of on-site DVD's and CD's rather than airwaves, so their is nothing to jam. We create the signal on-site and pump it through speakers. And you don't know the physical properties of wave propagation enough to know how to neutralize our sound that's directed at you. But I know how to stop yours, and have the necessary equipment in place. And as BT said, we can deal with polkas.

And that electric guitar only works when there's electricity. I also know how to shut that off, as well as your phone service. It's handy that I do that kind of stuff for a living, wouldn't you say?

But you talk a good game. You just need to take a few physics and electronics classes to back it all up, say 4 to 6 years worth.

Hey Bucky, you got the grill fired up yet? I'm gonna be firing off the first salvo in a few. I think we should celebrate with some surf 'n turf. The beverages are iced. That's a great mini fridge you brought out. And I'm impressed that it uses solar radiation to replace the propane flame that would normally drive the fridge. But that propane tank secured in your work trailor is sure gonna come in handy at night.

Tell me, if Mav and crew bring us lobster, is that good enough to call off the siege? Or should we really make them pay?

Seeeeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

 

[B'sgirl]

Oh, and the Chinese are a very proud and noble society. They wouldn't hook up with you. They would dismiss your efforts as foolilshness. And besides, between BT and myself, we can cook up whatever kind of food suits their pallate, and then some. And you know what they say, an army lives on its stomach. All you have to offer is twinkies and spam! Ahhhahahahah!Seeeeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North

Now there is where you are wrong, the Chinese are already on my side. I've had one of their spies stationed at my house for the last 8 months and they certainly do not dismiss our efforts as foolishness.

And never mind the density of the diapers, I'm quite confident they will hit their target just fine. You might as well have a chunk of a neutron star thrown at you. Hmmm, that gives me an idea....

 

[Chief Longwind Of The North]

Hey BT. Maybe we otta get something a little more sturdy than my tent.

Seeeeeeeya; Goodweed of the North