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Old 06-23-2009, 07:50 AM   #11
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JoAnn L, I am sorry to hear about your grief. Dealing with something like that can be very difficult, you need support from friends and family, and do not be shy to ask them if you feel overwhelmed. Counseling can help as they help you see the situation in a totally different light that sometimes we don't as we are grieving and cannot seem to find other ways to get through our grief. We all sometimes find it difficult to telll our family how we really feel, mainly to protect them, but with a counselor, one can open up because there is no that need of protecting themm from how you really feel. Sometimes medication can be prescribed, especially for sleep if you are not getting enough sleep or if to help you not slip into depression. I hope you find peace JoAnn L.
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Old 06-23-2009, 09:42 AM   #12
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JoAnn L, I am sorry to hear about your grief. Dealing with something like that can be very difficult, you need support from friends and family, and do not be shy to ask them if you feel overwhelmed. Counseling can help as they help you see the situation in a totally different light that sometimes we don't as we are grieving and cannot seem to find other ways to get through our grief. We all sometimes find it difficult to telll our family how we really feel, mainly to protect them, but with a counselor, one can open up because there is no that need of protecting themm from how you really feel. Sometimes medication can be prescribed, especially for sleep if you are not getting enough sleep or if to help you not slip into depression. I hope you find peace JoAnn L.
Thank you so much. I have so many questions (between me and God) and so much anger to deal with. Hopefully, someday day I will find peace. Thanks again. JoAnn
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Old 06-23-2009, 01:27 PM   #13
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JoAnn
three weeks ago I was so far down I could barely walk. I didn't know that grief and depression could do that. I would cry in public or anyplace I happened to be.My Dr. changed my depression meds because Cymbalta was causing leg cramps. He switched me to Prestic. I didn't know he started me on the lowest dose. It took me so far down that I just sat in my chair and cried constantly. After the change in meds I had a 4 week appointment. It took two weeks to get me to the point I was at. I saw him again in two weeks and sat in his office and cried. He changed my Prestic to a higher dose and in 3 days I was so much better. Please don't be afraid to take something that will help you get through a rough time. My son Kevin is still in the anger stage and just can't move on. It has been since Oct.2006 since we lost his Dad and Nov.2007 his brother. He will not take anti Depression meds...neither one of us has gone to Grief counseling ...I don't need to sit and cry with everyone else...
This was hard to write..I hope y'all can understand it.
Marge
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Old 06-23-2009, 02:01 PM   #14
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JoAnn
three weeks ago I was so far down I could barely walk. I didn't know that grief and depression could do that. I would cry in public or anyplace I happened to be.My Dr. changed my depression meds because Cymbalta was causing leg cramps. He switched me to Prestic. I didn't know he started me on the lowest dose. It took me so far down that I just sat in my chair and cried constantly. After the change in meds I had a 4 week appointment. It took two weeks to get me to the point I was at. I saw him again in two weeks and sat in his office and cried. He changed my Prestic to a higher dose and in 3 days I was so much better. Please don't be afraid to take something that will help you get through a rough time. My son Kevin is still in the anger stage and just can't move on. It has been since Oct.2006 since we lost his Dad and Nov.2007 his brother. He will not take anti Depression meds...neither one of us has gone to Grief counseling ...I don't need to sit and cry with everyone else...
This was hard to write..I hope y'all can understand it.
Marge
Thank you Marge, I think about you all the time. I just can't think of the right words to say to you right now. God Bless you and your family. JoAnn
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Old 06-23-2009, 04:10 PM   #15
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Having been a counselor, and received counseling, I can tell you, Joanne, that most of us have need of professional help at some time or other in our lives, and there is NO shame in getting the help you need.

It could be a group of mothers who have lost sons, or it could be a psychologist or a minister who has been trained in grief counseling. No one will be telling you what you "should" do, they will just help you gain a different insight or perspective, and be a shoulder to lean on.

It's not going to be forever, just to help you pull through.

Men seem to have far more trouble getting help in situations like this, and that's too bad, because some of them suffer forever because they think counseling is for "women and sissies!"

Sending you lots of good thoughts and hugs...
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Old 06-23-2009, 04:17 PM   #16
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...neither one of us has gone to Grief counseling ...I don't need to sit and cry with everyone else...
This was hard to write..I hope y'all can understand it.
Marge
Oh Marge! That is not what grief counseling is about at all! I so wish you and Kevin would get some help. There are not words that I can write to explain how much better you will feel afterwards.

My very closest friend's mom died 24 years ago. He and his brothers were all devastated, and did not function well for quite some months. Finally my friend (a college professor) walked into the office of a colleague of his who taught Psychology. This colleague was able to guide him out of his deep depression and back to productivity in just a couple of months. On the other hand, one of his brothers, who completely poo-pooed the idea of talking to someone, all these years later, is still filled with rage and anger over his mom's death. It has changed him completely, from a sociable and friendly person to a very hostile person who looks for the worst in everyone. It is so sad to see.
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Old 06-23-2009, 05:34 PM   #17
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It has changed him completely, from a sociable and friendly person to a very hostile person who looks for the worst in everyone. It is so sad to see.
===============================
I see this in Kevin now.
We have had his 17 yr. ol cat in the Pet hospital..she came home today. He should let her go but I can't tell him that. He is so devastated over this on top of everything else. She now needs Hormone Therapy @ $80.00 per week for at least 3 weeks. (Fatal Renal Disease..Kidneys) Kevin has disabilites so he is on SSI/S/S (s/s from his dad. So I guess it is up to me....
He said "this reminds me of being John's caregiver and this is the same medicine they gave Tim (Johns son) to prepare him for the bone marrow transplant.
I'm sorry, I guess I have strayed off of the subject.
Marge
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