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Old 12-29-2006, 11:53 PM   #31
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i've posted this before, but it's a holiday joke, so here goes:

at the end of his homily, a priest said "anything you experience in your life has been written about in the bible. look to it for answers to everything in your life."

after mass, a shy woman walked up to the priest, greeted him, and said, "father, i'm sorry to disagree with you, but i've never heard of anything in the bible about, well... you know. pms, the woman's problem."

the preist thought for a second, and with a smirk turned to the passage in the bible describing the christmas miracle.

"here it is" he replied.

reading aloud, "and mary rode joseph's a$$ all the way to bethlehem"...

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Old 12-29-2006, 11:57 PM   #32
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Good one Bucky.
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Old 01-01-2007, 04:06 PM   #33
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Seems the BBB got a complaint the other day about a scam that AFLAC was taking advantage of women on the street and stealing their money.

Now we all at one time thought that an INSURANCE Company has stolen from us, however this scam is netting COLD HARD CASH from unsuspecting individuals.

The way it works is the thief uses children to distract the target. While admiring the cuteness of the kids they are robbed of their cash and never know what hit them.

I'm sending this out for all to be aware that this is happening and it's right out on the streets where the general public is.

A passer by with a digital camera phone happen to capture the photo below.

Review it carefully and use caution when distractions like this come along.

Good Luck

Don't say you weren't warned

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Old 01-01-2007, 04:18 PM   #34
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Life's lesson......never trust a duck.
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Old 02-09-2007, 04:39 PM   #35
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There seems to be a lot of folks who are sad, crabby, or just plain out of sorts this last week. I thought I'd resurrect this in an effort to cheer people up a bit. Happy Friday all.

This appeared in a Farmington, Utah Newspaper: in August, 2006
"$10,000 2006 Suzuki GSXR 1000 This bike is perfect!
It has 1000 miles and has had its 500 mile dealer service. (Expensive) It's been adult ridden, all wheels have always been on the ground. I use it as a cruiser/commuter.
I'm selling it because it was purchased without proper consent of a loving wife.
Apparently "do whatever the heck you want" didn't mean what I thought. Call Steve. (801)867-8292
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Old 02-09-2007, 05:42 PM   #36
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another phrase to add to the lexicon of wifespeak:

"do whatever the heck you want" really means "it'll be a cold day in he## before I let you do that"
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Old 02-09-2007, 11:41 PM   #37
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Thought I would give a food themed joke.

Why do hamburgers go to the gym???
v
v
v
v
v
v
To get better buns.
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Old 02-15-2007, 02:41 PM   #38
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How do you make one sweet little old lady say the "F" word?








You have another sweet little old lady yell, BINGO!
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Old 02-15-2007, 02:44 PM   #39
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Where did the hamburger take his date?
v
v
v
v
v
v
To the Meat Ball

(I love bad jokes )
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Old 02-15-2007, 02:56 PM   #40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Poutine
(I love bad jokes )
what do ya call a fish with 2 knees?

A 2knee fish!


Why do golfers carry an extra pair of paints?

Incase they get a ...whole in one...
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