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Old 04-27-2014, 11:31 PM   #31
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Good point. If you contribute more than 50% of your MIL's care you can take her as a dependent on your tax return.
Not necessarily, Andy. This is where it gets tricky. RB, you should contact a tax attorney or a CPA. Since your MIL has her own income and owns a home, she must file a tax return. If I recall correctly, she can't be claimed as a dependent on someone else's tax return while filing a personal exemption on her own tax return in the same year.
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Old 04-27-2014, 11:41 PM   #32
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RB, your MIL is lucky to have such a wonderful and caring son-in-law. I wish you all the very best.

You sure can get a reduction on your electric bill because of her oxygen, and in some states, you can also get a reduction on your gas bill.

The social services department at your local hospital will have a complete list of services available to your MIL and to you as a caregiver. As someone else mentioned here, you do need to look into getting a power of attorney should the need arise, and also an advance directive. It's not a pleasant task to do, but it could save you tons of heartache and trouble.
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Old 04-27-2014, 11:55 PM   #33
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Not necessarily, Andy. This is where it gets tricky. RB, you should contact a tax attorney or a CPA. Since your MIL has her own income and owns a home, she must file a tax return. If I recall correctly, she can't be claimed as a dependent on someone else's tax return while filing a personal exemption on her own tax return in the same year.

Cheryl, she's selling her house - see the first post.
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Old 04-28-2014, 12:21 AM   #34
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I base my comments on my experience with my own mother. Of course she should pay for her living expenses. And it's shouldn't be any one business except those people sharing the house hold. My mother (my husband's mother-in-law) lived with us for 5 years. My husband expected nothing from her but she would have no part of being a charity case living off "her kids". My mother wanted to pay way too much but he wanted her to pay nothing. In the we came up with $350 a month since one of her monthly dividends was $350. She also wanted to tip the house keeper that came once week because the lady changed her sheets and cleaned mom's bathroom. Later I found out the "tip" was $40 a week on top of what I was paying. Actually you shouldn't have to ask for a "contribution". She should volunteer something and open negotiations. If I moved in with my kids, I would expect to pay something for my lodging and I would tell him so.
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Old 04-28-2014, 12:48 AM   #35
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Cheryl, she's selling her house - see the first post.
I did read it, Andy... Some family members went through something similar several years ago. A dependent can only earn a certain amount per year - I think it's around $3500 or so. The sale of her house will put her income above that, so she'll have to file a return and pay taxes on that income. It's my understanding that she cannot be a qualifying dependent if her income exceeds that maximum amount. RB does need to see a professional, they can offer suggestions on where she can invest the $$ to reduce her taxable income. I could be wrong of course, just saying from experience with my own family members.
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Old 04-28-2014, 08:17 AM   #36
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My only experience, thus far, is with how much it costs for long term care (too much). I would think that some inquiries into the cost of Assisted or Supervised living costs per month and go from there. That is what she would be paying if she didn't have family to live with. Also, why can't the parent live on their own anymore? What can they no longer do that necessitates living with supervision?

I also agree with Living Wills, Advance Directives and Durable Powers of Attorney should be decided well in advance of needing them.
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Old 04-28-2014, 08:30 AM   #37
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My only experience, thus far, is with how much it costs for long term care (too much). I would think that some inquiries into the cost of Assisted or Supervised living costs per month and go from there. That is what she would be paying if she didn't have family to live with. Also, why can't the parent live on their own anymore? What can they no longer do that necessitates living with supervision?

I also agree with Living Wills, Advance Directives and Durable Powers of Attorney should be decided well in advance of needing them.
When my Mother died three years ago she was paying $4,165.00/month in an assisted living facility and that did not include anything beyond housekeeping, food and toilet paper. That was pretty much the standard rate in our area for one room with a bath. She spent an additional $350.00 - $400.00 per month for extras like a telephone, cable television, snacks, toiletries etc...

It will definitely be cheaper if you can all live together and form a sort of cooperative.
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Old 04-28-2014, 08:47 AM   #38
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When my Mother died three years ago she was paying $4,165.00/month in an assisted living facility and that did not include anything beyond housekeeping, food and toilet paper. That was pretty much the standard rate in our area for one room with a bath. She spent an additional $350.00 - $400.00 per month for extras like a telephone, cable television, snacks, toiletries etc...

It will definitely be cheaper if you can all live together and form a sort of cooperative.
I didn't mean that she should pay what is charged at an Assisted Living, but it should be the ceiling and go down from there. It matters if the family is still making mortgage payments, still have children in the house or if the elder does need some type of supervision. Does someone have to quit a job to stay home or is the Elder going to be watching kids? All of this plays into expenses.

Most counties have Aging Services or some such and Home Health Care. Home Health Care can be paid by Medicare or Medicaid, depending on the need. I suggest, do not pay for any healthcare needs out of pocket until all avenues of Medicare/Medicaid/Insurance/Senior Discounts have been followed.

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Old 04-28-2014, 11:00 AM   #39
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My mother has been living with me for the past 2 years. She is in pretty good health, so I don't feel like a caregiver very often, thank heavens!

She gives me $500 a month for her share of food, utilities and such. I don't know if that really covers the extra expense of keeping the house warmer all winter, but it helps.
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Old 04-28-2014, 12:14 PM   #40
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I wish I had a button to push under each post as all of you have been much help to me.

I also thought about the tax deduction. We have not had a Dependant in years.

I will talk with my wife first chance i get and see what her opinion is. After all, she does everything around here and now this extra work. Its only been 4 days and my wife looks exhausted already. Hopefully she will calm down and take care of herself!
I am very lucky to have my wife. I am even more lucky my MIL and I get along very well.

Thanks everyone. I will keep y'all posted.
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