Petty Vents

[babetoo]

yesterday was a day fro he double l. first could not find my cell phone. since i don't know the number tried to find my account at att. after many searches i found a phone number. reached a person. many security questions, she gave me the number. called it twice but could not hear it ring. tried once more walking around the house. under the covers on my bed. how stupid i felt, even went through trash to make sure i had not thrown it out.

baked raisins bar. darned things would not get done. i had set the temp. 100 degrees to low.

made a beginner mistake on dress i am sewing. rip out time.

after hair cut and market, called cab for ride home. they couldn't give a time they would be there and the guy was very rude. called my granddaughter, she said about twenty min. ended up being an hour. was sitting at tables out front with the sun blazing in my face. i had purchased cold beer. and broke one out and drank it, while reading my purse book. that was the only good part of the day. senior citizens moments all day. whew! i feel better.

 

[kadesma]

yesterday was a day fro he double l. first could not find my cell phone. since i don't know the number tried to find my account at att. after many searches i found a phone number. reached a person. many security questions, she gave me the number. called it twice but could not hear it ring. tried once more walking around the house. under the covers on my bed. how stupid i felt, even went through trash to make sure i had not thrown it out.

baked raisins bar. darned things would not get done. i had set the temp. 100 degrees to low.

made a beginner mistake on dress i am sewing. rip out time.

after hair cut and market, called cab for ride home. they couldn't give a time they would be there and the guy was very rude. called my granddaughter, she said about twenty min. ended up being an hour. was sitting at tables out front with the sun blazing in my face. i had purchased cold beer. and broke one out and drank it, while reading my purse book. that was the only good part of the day. senior citizens moments all day. whew! i feel better.

Oh babe I understand. It's time for me to start driving again and DH is a pain in the butt. He feels he must go everyplace with me and it drives me nuts.Having to wait for family, cabs, buses is so wretched. I hate it. makes you want to hide. Feel better sweetie you are a good soul.
kades

 

[CWS4322]

I'm a pretty laid-back person--I don't let too many things get my hair up. BUT, I live 1400 miles from my parents (and am the only daughter). My mom has dementia and heart issues. My dad is 80. He also is on heart meds (and bitching about how hard it is to take over cooking). So I called him tonight to discuss a grant proposal I'm writing for him for a project he did...and I'd like to see as a documentary (all that aside). The first thing he tells me is that he forgot to give my mom her heart meds since Thursday....I lost my mind...I asked him if he was trying to kill her and if so, then I'd take him to court to get power of attorney. And then he whined about the fact she can't cook anymore and he's having such a hard time with that...I put my brother on notice too. I am so not interested in hearing about how my dad forgets to give my mom her meds. I ended the conversation with my dad by saying that he obviously was busy cooking dinner and we could talk tomorrow. Oh. I am so not happy with him.

 

[PrincessFiona60]

I'm a pretty laid-back person--I don't let too many things get my hair up. BUT, I live 1400 miles from my parents (and am the only daughter). My mom has dementia and heart issues. My dad is 80. He also is on heart meds (and bitching about how hard it is to take over cooking). So I called him tonight to discuss a grant proposal I'm writing for him for a project he did...and I'd like to see as a documentary (all that aside). The first thing he tells me is that he forgot to give my mom her heart meds since Thursday....I lost my mind...I asked him if he was trying to kill her and if so, then I'd take him to court to get power of attorney. And then he whined about the fact she can't cook anymore and he's having such a hard time with that...I put my brother on notice too. I am so not interested in hearing about how my dad forgets to give my mom her meds. I ended the conversation with my dad by saying that he obviously was busy cooking dinner and we could talk tomorrow. Oh. I am so not happy with him.

Not his fault, not her fault, not your brother's fault and not your fault. You may as well yell at the sky for being blue as rage against our parents getting old and sick and in your mother's case...demented. Couple of days, no pills...it's not the end of the world.

We just need to find a system that helps your father. If you feel overwhelmed, how do you think he feels? And now his daughter is upset and he's starting to forget things.

I know it's tough, but you have to be careful how you react to what he tells you or he'll stop telling you when things really go haywire. Now that we see the problem, let's work on a way to help you help them. Hugs!!!!!

 

[CWS4322]

Yeah--that's why I told him I'd call him tomorrow...and when mom said "this isn't working, we need to do something" I told her I'd think about that. And why I told my brother when I talked to him (we've only been on the phone about 3 hours today) that when he gets the weekly call from dad tomorrow (I don't--I guess my dad knows better--I'd read him the riot act) my brother might want to suggest a few things...e.g., that dad put mom's evening pills on the table when they eat supper...or, maybe set a timer, or that dad adjust his schedule to match mom's (dad stays up until 11:30--mom goes to bed when the sun sets down). I don't know what else we can do...it took three years to get them to use pill trays...we're both too far away to be there to make sure she's taken her pills.

 

[Stubbs]

First I must say it good to hear that you care so much. I know it must be overwhelming. And working as a CNA(in the past) know what the demintia is all about it not easy. Keep ur head up & everything will work out but no matter just know that im praying for you. Take care!

 

[PrincessFiona60]

Yeah--that's why I told him I'd call him tomorrow...and when mom said "this isn't working, we need to do something" I told her I'd think about that. And why I told my brother when I talked to him (we've only been on the phone about 3 hours today) that when he gets the weekly call from dad tomorrow (I don't--I guess my dad knows better--I'd read him the riot act) my brother might want to suggest a few things...e.g., that dad put mom's evening pills on the table when they eat supper...or, maybe set a timer, or that dad adjust his schedule to match mom's (dad stays up until 11:30--mom goes to bed when the sun sets down). I don't know what else we can do...it took three years to get them to use pill trays...we're both too far away to be there to make sure she's taken her pills.

Medication Talking Clock!

Amazon.com: MedCenter 4 Alarm Talking Reminder Clock (White) (2.75"H x 5"W x 1.75"D): Home & Garden

 

[Dawgluver]

I'm a pretty laid-back person--I don't let too many things get my hair up. BUT, I live 1400 miles from my parents (and am the only daughter). My mom has dementia and heart issues. My dad is 80. He also is on heart meds (and bitching about how hard it is to take over cooking). So I called him tonight to discuss a grant proposal I'm writing for him for a project he did...and I'd like to see as a documentary (all that aside). The first thing he tells me is that he forgot to give my mom her heart meds since Thursday....I lost my mind...I asked him if he was trying to kill her and if so, then I'd take him to court to get power of attorney. And then he whined about the fact she can't cook anymore and he's having such a hard time with that...I put my brother on notice too. I am so not interested in hearing about how my dad forgets to give my mom her meds. I ended the conversation with my dad by saying that he obviously was busy cooking dinner and we could talk tomorrow. Oh. I am so not happy with him.

Damn. I am so, so sorry. Of all the other stuff that has happened to you, iceing on the cake. Like you need this.

Taking care of elderly parents, especially long distance, is so hard. My mom refuses to learn how to use a cell phone, and gets upset when I call the neighbors who call the EMTs when she doesn't answer after a few days.

Thoughts are with you, CWS.

 

[PrincessFiona60]

Damn. I am so, so sorry. Of all the other stuff that has happened to you, iceing on the cake. Like you need this.

Taking care of elderly parents, especially long distance, is so hard. My mom refuses to learn how to use a cell phone, and gets upset when I call the neighbors who call the EMTs when she doesn't answer after a few days.

Thoughts are with you, CWS.

You can just call the sheriff or police dept for a "wellness" check when your Mom doesn't answer. No need for the EMT's.

 

[Dawgluver]

You can just call the sheriff or police dept for a "wellness" check when your Mom doesn't answer. No need for the EMT's.

Actually, her neighbor called the sheriff. She lives in a very small town, and the police, sheriff, and EMTs are pretty much the same folks!

She was pissed as the cop had to break through her screen door. And then he shone a light in her face while she was in bed. I got to hear all about it once her phone service was restored!

 

[PrincessFiona60]

Actually, her neighbor called the sheriff. She lives in a very small town, and the police, sheriff, and EMTs are pretty much the same folks!

She was pissed as the cop had to break through her screen door. And then he shone a light in her face while she was in bed. I got to hear all about it once her phone service was restored!

Oh no!!! LOL Your poor Mom! Trying to keep tabs on our parents can give us grey hair!

 

[Dawgluver]

Oh no!!! LOL Your poor Mom! Trying to keep tabs on our parents can give us grey hair!

Actually, my poor neighbor, he just turned 92. I have him on speed dial. Am about 80% gray.

 

[PrincessFiona60]

Actually, my poor neighbor, he just turned 92. I have him on speed dial. Am about 80% gray.

I have a scattergun approach for my folks...e-mail, phone, cell phone... there are 4 computers, 4 cell phone and a landline...someone always answers. Because they know I will call the sheriff.

 

[Dawgluver]

I have a scattergun approach for my folks...e-mail, phone, cell phone... there are 4 computers, 4 cell phone and a landline...someone always answers. Because they know I will call the sheriff.

I keep trying to teach my mom how to use a cell phone, she refuses. She thinks the lifeline neck thing is stupid and refuses to even think about it. Totally computer illiterate. ARGHH!

Thanks

 

[PrincessFiona60]

I keep trying to teach my mom how to use a cell phone, she refuses. She thinks the lifeline neck thing is stupid and refuses to even think about it. Totally computer illiterate. ARGHH!

Thanks

I'll try to think of a strategy for that one. Sometimes it takes a fall and fracture to convince a parent.

 

[babetoo]

I keep trying to teach my mom how to use a cell phone, she refuses. She thinks the lifeline neck thing is stupid and refuses to even think about it. Totally computer illiterate. ARGHH!

Thanks

tell your mom to give me a call. i have life alert. push the button hanging round my neck and a person calls me. asks what is wrong? so far i have only been testing. if i didn't answer (don't actually don't have to be on the phone" it is set to alert at the sound of what would be a fall. they can hear me from any room in my house. if no answer at all they immediately call 911, then they call my kids.

as you all may recall, i had three bad falls last year. couldn't get to the phone for a very long time. (two occasions had to pull myself along on the floor ) to get to the phone. if she had to work for four hours on hands and knees, she would see the value. i have a cell phone i take when i leave home. hopefully if something happened while out and about i could call. i am 73 years old. they just need to face the fact that they need help. even from a device they consider silly.

 

[Dawgluver]

tell your mom to give me a call. i have life alert. push the button hanging round my neck and a person calls me. asks what is wrong? so far i have only been testing. if i didn't answer (don't actually don't have to be on the phone" it is set to alert at the sound of what would be a fall. they can hear me from any room in my house. if no answer at all they immediately call 911, then they call my kids.

as you all may recall, i had three bad falls last year. couldn't get to the phone for a very long time. (two occasions had to pull myself along on the floor ) to get to the phone. if she had to work for four hours on hands and knees, she would see the value. i have a cell phone i take when i leave home. hopefully if something happened while out and about i could call. i am 73 years old. they just need to face the fact that they need help. even from a device they consider silly.

Babe, I will show her your message, as I will see her next week. Along with my brother and sister, we may be able to convince her. She's 75 and extremely stubborn!

Amazing, did not post to vent, but I so appreciate all the support from Fiona and Babe!

 

[PrincessFiona60]

Babe, I will show her your message, as I will see her next week. Along with my brother and sister, we may be able to convince her. She's 75 and extremely stubborn!

Amazing, did not post to vent, but I so appreciate all the support from Fiona and Babe!

I take care of people your Mom's age, some of them have fallen and been unable to reach help for a couple of days. For every day they spend on the floor, it takes a week of recovery time. For every day in the hospital, it takes a week of recovery time. This is a fact.

Actually I shouldn't complain, those folks keep me in a job.

 

[Dawgluver]

I take care of people your Mom's age, some of them have fallen and been unable to reach help for a couple of days. For every day they spend on the floor, it takes a week of recovery time. For every day in the hospital, it takes a week of recovery time. This is a fact.

Actually I shouldn't complain, those folks keep me in a job.

LOL! I really appreciate your advice and wisdom! Thanks so much, Princess!

 

[DaveSoMD]

I know it is frustrating. I went through the same thing with my Mom this past fall/winter. It was hard being 500+ miles away and my Sister lives in the same town and see's my Mom at least once a week. Mom just didn't want to tell anyone was was going on. It was by luck that we found out abut things.

We had to start looking at it like taking care of a child. Yelling doesn't help, as much as it makes us feel better, and talking reason is a 50/50 proposition.

We started "double teaming" her after her surgery.. are you doing this? Did you take that. Asking lots of questions and making sure she we WE were talking to each other and she wasn't going to get away with anything this time.