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Old 07-23-2011, 07:07 AM   #11
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Or, maybe one of the international agencies/charities providing assistance in the area could put her in touch with an agency/organization/charity that could help. This is not an uncommon problem.
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Old 07-23-2011, 07:14 AM   #12
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Thanks for the advice CW, I'll find out what I can.
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Old 07-23-2011, 07:16 AM   #13
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One question, her Husband would more than likely turn around and say he didn't say or do anything and he will look after her and her kids. What would happen if she looked for help and he pretended nothing was wrong? He's done this before
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Old 07-23-2011, 04:30 PM   #14
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Not knowing where she is and what the culture and legalities are there it is hard to predict what would happen if he denied the situation. I would think unless she seeks some legal action against him, it wouldn't make a difference what he said. If she wants to leave, she should find a way to make that happen as soon as possible. The longer she waits, the harder it will be and the greater chance of long term damage to herself and her children.
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Old 07-23-2011, 04:34 PM   #15
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Not knowing where she is and what the culture and legalities are there it is hard to predict what would happen if he denied the situation. I would think unless she seeks some legal action against him, it wouldn't make a difference what he said. If she wants to leave, she should find a way to make that happen as soon as possible. The longer she waits, the harder it will be and the greater chance of long term damage to herself and her children.
I agree, just hope she can find a way out soon! Thanks for the advice.
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Old 07-25-2011, 08:55 AM   #16
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Has she talked to anyone at the embassy of her home country? Perhaps they can put her in touch with some agencies that could help her get out of the country and back home. Does she have friends/family (extended--cousins, aunts, uncles) that could help her out with a place to stay if she can out of the country? Living in a foreign country, depending on s/one else, puts a person in a very vulnerable position. That is why when I married my DH and moved to Canada, I insisted that one of the terms of our marriage was that I would always be in control of my own money. The other was that if things didn't work out, he would provide me with a set amount of money to move back home. We don't share finances at all. In hindsight, bad move on my part--he retired at the age of 38--and when my partnership with my business partner turned sour, he didn't help me out re: paying the legal bills--my problem. We also have houses in our own names. We only co-own one of the three houses we own. It works for us.
Thanks for sharing that.
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Old 07-25-2011, 09:24 AM   #17
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I've been thinking about this all weekend. I want to pass along a website. While it is US based, I think a lot of the advice on here may be helpful. They have a section on how to help a friend in an abusive relationship as well. Even if your friend can't use it, you may be able to get some advice on how to help her.

National Domestic Violence Hotline
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Old 07-25-2011, 10:04 AM   #18
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I've been thinking about this all weekend. I want to pass along a website. While it is US based, I think a lot of the advice on here may be helpful. They have a section on how to help a friend in an abusive relationship as well. Even if your friend can't use it, you may be able to get some advice on how to help her.

National Domestic Violence Hotline
Thank you!
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Old 07-25-2011, 04:57 PM   #19
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snip, you can certainly support your friend. however until where she is so intolerable, that the unknown will not seem so scary, nothing will change. i have had friends in same situation but they had to make the move and i could only lend support. beware of being in the middle. she may stay and then blame you for the turmoil.
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