"Discover Cooking, Discuss Life."

Go Back   Discuss Cooking - Cooking Forums > The Back Porch > Off Topic Discussions
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
 
Old 10-11-2008, 02:00 PM   #1
Executive Chef
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: central Ohio
Posts: 3,131
Wink The Man Rules (as given by my Fiance...)

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys' side of the story
We always hear'the rules' from the female side,Now here are the rules from the male side

These are our rules!
Please note... they are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1.
Learn to work the toilet seat.You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1.
Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.Let it be.

1.
Crying is blackmail.

1.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!Just say it!

1.
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.That's what we do.Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in anargument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1.
If you think you're fat, you probably are.Don't ask us.

1.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1.
You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1.
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to sayduring commercials.

1.
Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1.
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows defaultsettings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have NOidea what mauve is.

1.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1.
If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really!
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you areprepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

1.
You have enough clothes.

1.
You have too many shoes.

1.
I am in shape.Round
IS a shape!

1..
Thank you for reading this.Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

__________________

__________________
"Many people have eaten my cooking & gone on to lead Normal lives."

deelady is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2008, 03:00 PM   #2
Sous Chef
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Utah
Posts: 581
hahahahaha

Too funny!
__________________

__________________
NAchef is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2008, 03:19 PM   #3
Master Chef
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Cicero, IL
Posts: 5,093
I would print this and show it to my wife, but my couch is uncomfortable!
__________________
Maverick2272 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2008, 05:27 PM   #4
Chef Extraordinaire
 
middie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Cleveland,Ohio USA
Posts: 16,264
Send a message via Yahoo to middie
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

Oh that's great lmao
__________________
middie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2008, 06:34 PM   #5
Sous Chef
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Missouri
Posts: 588
*Ahem*......

Sure.. the toilet seat comment has a good point, but *ME* not putting the seat up, means you might have a little mess to clean up... *YOU* not putting the seat down, means me falling into the toilet!! You could still do your business with the seat down... we cannot do ours with the seat up!!

"Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!Just say it!"

- One time, my husband and I were on vacation, and we were looking for a resteraunt to eat supper at. I look over and see Red Robin, and said "Hm, Red Robin sounds good!" a few min. later, feeling rather dissapointed that we were now driving AWAY from the resteraunt, I said "Guess that means we're not eating Red Robin tonight...." He says "I didn't know you wanted to eat there. Why didn't you say so??" ...............aparently we need to draw you men pictures..

"If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. "

- I agree, that one's halarious! lol

And finally, I must disagree with one more........ A girl can never have too many shoes.

Over-all, this was halarious, and I know my husbands going to LOVE it..




__________________
DietitianInTraining is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2008, 06:45 PM   #6
Traveling Welcome Wagon
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Somewhere, US
Posts: 15,919
Quote:
Originally Posted by beginner_chef View Post
...Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!Just say it!"

- One time, my husband and I were on vacation, and we were looking for a resteraunt to eat supper at. I look over and see Red Robin, and said "Hm, Red Robin sounds good!" a few min. later, feeling rather dissapointed that we were now driving AWAY from the resteraunt, I said "Guess that means we're not eating Red Robin tonight...." He says "I didn't know you wanted to eat there. Why didn't you say so??" ...............aparently we need to draw you men pictures...
I'm never sure where I stand with this! Sometimes I will do the same as you, and he will react the same as your husband. Other times it works fine. And yet other times, I will just look at a restaurant and he assumes I want to eat there! James is actually usually pretty good at reading what I want, but sometimes he is way off.

Barbara
__________________
Barbara L is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2008, 07:53 PM   #7
Master Chef
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Cicero, IL
Posts: 5,093
Quote:
Originally Posted by beginner_chef View Post
*Ahem*......

Sure.. the toilet seat comment has a good point, but *ME* not putting the seat up, means you might have a little mess to clean up... *YOU* not putting the seat down, means me falling into the toilet!! You could still do your business with the seat down... we cannot do ours with the seat up!!
Yer assuming we can aim!

Better to train him to always put the seat down, my mom trained me as a kid and I never fail to put the seat down to this day!
__________________
Maverick2272 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2008, 08:03 PM   #8
Sous Chef
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Missouri
Posts: 588


My husband not only puts the seat down, but he takes toilet paper, and wipe the toilet off, before he puts the seat back down.. lol

__________________
DietitianInTraining is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2008, 08:54 PM   #9
Chef Extraordinaire
 
pacanis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: NW PA
Posts: 18,751
Personally, I like #1
__________________
Give us this day our daily bacon.
pacanis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2008, 08:54 PM   #10
Master Chef
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: E. Pa.
Posts: 8,281
my hubby doesn't even put the seat up !
__________________

__________________
LadyCook61 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



» Discuss Cooking on Facebook

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:20 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.