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Old 08-07-2012, 02:00 AM   #21
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OK, for some: Cleaning your house isn't a third place, it is both the first and second place. That is to say, both your home (the first place) and your job.

Maybe it is because of my life (a military brat), but I always find a place to hang out when I move to a new community. I happen to like bars (and trust me, I haven't been able to drink for a few weeks, and yes, my friends and bartender have always been supportive). If my circumstances changed, I'd probably hang out at the library. I'm not a big coffee drinker, because I have what I refer to as "the shakes" and caffein makes it worse. I also love to walk, which is a non-starter right now (hip surgery).

I have met many interesting people in bars, funny as that may sound. When we were on the road, my husband and I met many fascinating people, and learned much about the local economy from them. In Washington and Oregon, we learned a lot about the local hard times that people were going through when the logging industry went south. We met many people who helped us through hard times. My husband I both really saw another side of
America in those years. One time we ran into a man at a brew pub in colorado, and it turned out that he was the first gynocologist in Colorado springs. One of my favorites was a puppeteer in Sand Antonio. Yes, I guess some make small talk. I usually ask people about their lives. Not just hi and goodbbye.

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Old 08-07-2012, 02:53 AM   #22
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I'm self-employed, so 1st & 2nd are the same. I haven't really got a third place here (darn!). I have in the past had cafés, restaurants, and bars as a third place. That's part of why I don't like living in this suburb. In 17 years, I haven't found a third place.

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Old 08-07-2012, 03:39 AM   #23
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Originally Posted by taxlady View Post
I'm self-employed, so 1st & 2nd are the same. I haven't really got a third place here (darn!). I have in the past had cafés, restaurants, and bars as a third place. That's part of why I don't like living in this suburb. In 17 years, I haven't found a third place.
Same here. I guess the farm would be my third place most of the time, with Lake of the Woods my favorite place (since it takes 2 days + to drive there, and then 2 days + to drive back again). But, it is so worth it!
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Old 08-07-2012, 05:14 AM   #24
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For as Long as I can Remember

Tuesday 12.15 mid-day

Buon Giorno, Good Morning,

Firstly, after reading the entire thread, and having thought about the topic thoroughly, I have come to the following on a 3rd Place ...

For me, an active 49 1/2 year old, fulfilling and happily married 32 years, with 5 young grandchildren and 2 marvelous daughters 31 and 32; I too, have my career, The Vet ( he is 1st because he is my best friend ), and there are no thirds ...

There are electives: socialising with colleagues, socialising with friends, my daughters & their children, hobbies, Museums & Exhibitions, The Theatre, Blogging on D.C., improving & learning courses, my Professional freelance writing & interviewing and researching thus, spend quite alot of time with people in general professionally; Film, Music and quiet relaxing chill out moments ...

Sometimes, priorities differ, however, none the less, nobody is always 1st, or 2nd. When I have a deadline, I meet the publishing deadlines, and when the Vet travels to South America or northern Spain for a Cattle Convention, he handles and deals with his professional commitments.

We make it a point to share our Friday and Saturday nites, when in town, together ...

I have always been very independent, I am an only child, so I have never needed a play mate ... I have had my hobbies, my mascots, my enthusiams and know how to be alone and know how to be with others. I have friends from all over the world, and we enjoy our reunions however, I also enjoy my precious moments alone too.

I can go to the cinema myself, shopping myself, and read a book or watch a prime time soap opera or Culinary Show ...

There are NO 3rds for us, we multi flex what has to be taken care of, and what we may need at a specific moment ... We have a ladies night out and a gents nite out ...

Have a marvelous August.
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Old 08-07-2012, 08:29 AM   #25
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We rarely go out to bars....Ain't driving after drinkin', and I ain't goin to a bar and not drink. Too far to walk there and back, so bars are a rarity.
I reckon the nearest I got to a third place would be my visitin' my oldest friend. We have been friends since the late sixties, played many a tune together (still do from time to time), never had a serious disagreement, and we can talk about anything, politics and religion included, without any trouble.
Next best thing would be Rendezvous. Been doin' that since the early 80's, but I only get to do that 4-5 times a year, but it is mighty relaxin' and a lot of fun. No TV, radio, and except for emergencies, no phones. Livin' outdoors for a few days is good. Shucks, until Mrs Hoot and I got together, I never took a tent to Rendezvous.
But I reckon it wouldn't be proper to expect her to sleep under a tree.
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Old 08-07-2012, 09:25 AM   #26
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well, at least not an apple tree this time of year, hoot.
The next time someone asks what you did this past weekend, squint really hard and say, "Why, what did you hear?"
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Old 08-07-2012, 09:27 AM   #27
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Originally Posted by buckytom View Post
well, at least not an apple tree this time of year, hoot.
Shucks, even I ain't that dumb......
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Old 08-07-2012, 09:30 AM   #28
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My third place is the deck on the front of the house. It has everything I need to relax: a glider, two benches, a coffee table, a fire pit, a picnic table, a gas grill, flowers, wind chimes, a deck heater, a wonderful view of the mountains, citronella candles, two golden retrievers and Hubby. :D
No matter where I serve my guests, it seems they like my kitchen best!
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Old 08-07-2012, 09:43 AM   #29
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Originally Posted by Merlot View Post
My third place used to be drinks/ dinner with friends but once I got married I realized how jealous my husband actually is so the socializing was too much effort. I now have my third place is wherever my son is.
I'm sorry, but this makes me sad I had a boyfriend like that in high school. I'm thankful I recognized it for what it was before we got too serious.

DH goes golfing most Friday nights with his friends and then they go to Buffalo Wild Wings afterward, so we both have a regular thing with others.
The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you're hungry again. ~ George Miller
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Old 08-07-2012, 10:35 AM   #30
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I never felt a need to go somewhere without my wife, I don't know maybe because I did plenty of it before I got married, but then I was married before and never felt a need to go somewhere without the first W either. Like Margi I am an only child, but I hate being alone, I always wanted to have many siblings, well that did not happen, so I always had a lot of friends and even more girlfriends, till now I am much more comfortable in a womens’ company than mens’. I think it has to do with the fact that the first apartment building where we lived had no boys. Until 8 years old I only played with girls, by default, and then after 12-13 that was simply my choice, well the games changed though, but back to my 3-rd place in life. I do not mind if she goes out with girlfriends, but she is been doing that less and less. Also, our lives are so busy; we simply do not have enough time to go out. House, work, Friday and Saturday we volunteer at the kitchen of our synagogue, cooking for 50-60 people on average, some time more sometime less, that is 2 days out of regular schedule to do all the home chores, take care of kids etc. When weather is nice we go on dates, which is our deck, though it's been so hot and humid this summer we have not had a chance to do that. Looks like it might start cooling down a bit so after kids are in beds there will be date time for us. I wish there were more time for play time, maybe when we are older and kids are out of home, so far we really can’t afford the extracurricular activities neither physically nor financially. Before kids we used to go to Miami for couple of weeks a year. I love that place, miss it too.

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