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Old 06-28-2005, 09:48 AM   #1
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Understanding Women - What Makes Us Happy

How to make & lose points with us.

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed ......................................... ....+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.... 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...................-1
You leave the toilet seat up..................................-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty............ 0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom...........-2
You go out to buy her breakfast to be served in bed.....+5
In the snow..................................... ..............+8
But return with a six pack of beer............................-5
And forget the breakfast................................ .............-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night..................... 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing............ 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something..........+5
You whack it with a six iron................................+10
It's her cat...................................... ...........-40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party............ 0
You leave her to chat with a college drinking buddy......-2
Named Tiffany.................................. ..-4


HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday................................0
You buy a card and flowers...............................0
You take her out to dinner.............................. 0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1
Okay, it is a sports bar................................-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night..........................-3
And your face is painted the colors of your best team........-10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal...................................... .0
The pal is happily married..........................+1
The pal is single................................... -7
He drives a Ferrari.................................- 10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED)........-15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie...............+2
You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
You take her to a movie you hate......+6
You take her to a movie you like......-2
It's called Death Cop 3...............-3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans....-9
You told her it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly................-15
You exercise to get rid of it...+10
You resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts......-30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."..........-800

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
You hesitate in responding......................-10
You reply, "Where?".............................-35
You reply, "No, I think it's your belly".........-100
Any other response..............................-20

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem: You listen, displaying a concerned expression...........0
You listen, for over 30 minutes...............+5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience....+50
You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying "well, what do you think I should do"...............-50
You listen for 30 minutes without looking at the TV..+100
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep............-200


Remember in the world of romance, one single rule applies: MAKE US HAPPY

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Old 06-28-2005, 01:06 PM   #2
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Good one! I've already sent it off to some friends. Thanks!!
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Old 06-28-2005, 01:38 PM   #3
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Remember in the world of romance, one single rule applies: MAKE US HAPPY

yeah is that too much to ask for ????
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Old 06-28-2005, 01:39 PM   #4
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lol, no middie. would you like the sun, moon, and stars too?
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Old 06-28-2005, 01:41 PM   #5
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but of course bucky. man you men act like we want EVERYTHING.
oh wait... we do !!!!

j/k
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Old 06-28-2005, 01:43 PM   #6
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We don't want EVERYTHING,
you can keep your dirty clothes, smells, obsene sounds, grunts, scratching, blah blah blah...tha'ts what your really hearing anyway
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Old 06-28-2005, 01:47 PM   #7
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lol texas yeah men can keep all that
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Old 06-28-2005, 01:50 PM   #8
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Ya hit it right on the nose Texas! LOLOL!!!
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Old 06-28-2005, 01:52 PM   #9
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umm, did you say something tex?sorry, i couldn't hear you over the din of scratching and flatulence...
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Old 06-28-2005, 02:00 PM   #10
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See ya'll never listen, just forget it.
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