Oh my gosh, you all are cracking me up.
Speaking of crockpots though
have y'all noticed that the newer models cook WAY too high, even on low setting? I gave away my newer crockpot last year and bought a Nesco roaster instead. I love it. It has actual temp. settings rather than just 'low and high'. They have dial settings that allow you to cook at anything between a very low simmer, to a high heat roast. I think mine is a 6 1/2 quart, I'd have to look.
I've made anything from low simmer soups (that don't boil like in the newer crockpots) to small roasts at 400 degrees that brown the meat very nicely. Just like a tabletop oven, without heating up the big oven. Love it.