Not to go too OT here, but what ever happened to getting a busy tone and trying your call later? Now someone needs to be told you're on the phone and to call back? Just another sign of the changing times.
Etiquette
- Thread starter Claire
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Not to go too OT here, but what ever happened to getting a busy tone and trying your call later? Now someone needs to be told you're on the phone and to call back? Just another sign of the changing times.
Yup, the times are changing. My phone is a biz line and sometimes it's important to me to talk to the second person calling. Getting a time to call back avoids a lot of phone tag.
seans_potato_business
Senior Cook
Hear, hear!
Etiquette, as I understand it, was supposed to reduce the incidence of embarrassment and misunderstanding. Nowadays it's abused to cause embarrassment. It might well have been enough to get a person shot in the 18th/19th centuries (I've no idea) but thanks goodness we live in the 21st. Hats aren't that common where I live, particularly indoors but I couldn't care less whether someone wears one at the table. Nor if they must make or take a call. Remember the century in which you live. He who does not progress, regresses etc.
Etiquette still has its place but many rules, if they even had a rationale, are surely redundant.
Exactly. It's important to you, but what about the original person on the other line? If my CPA told me to hold while he took another call, then returned to tell me the other person was more important than I was ("I really need to take this"), I'd be ticked. And he may well be right. Maybe the other customer is a much larger account, but I would still think it rude. I'm not really sure if rude falls under manners or etiquette though. I'd much rather be told the other line was ringing, then we could wrap up the conversation in ten seconds or decide to continue it later if we were just gabbing. But this is business phone use, if it was a friend or family member telling me they were taking the other call instead, and is wasn't an emergency, whoo boy...
Exactly. It's important to you, but what about the original person on the other line? If my CPA told me to hold while he took another call, then returned to tell me the other person was more important than I was ("I really need to take this"), I'd be ticked. And he may well be right. Maybe the other customer is a much larger account, but I would still think it rude. I'm not really sure if rude falls under manners or etiquette though. I'd much rather be told the other line was ringing, then we could wrap up the conversation in ten seconds or decide to continue it later if we were just gabbing. But this is business phone use, if it was a friend or family member telling me they were taking the other call instead, and is wasn't an emergency, whoo boy...
"I really need to take this" can mean so many things. How about if he has a client who is in the hospital and only has access to the phone at certain, limited times. Okay, that's not a greatly realistic example, but you get my drift. Of course, it also depends on how often it happens, and the attitude in the person's voice.
If the other call is important, I am reluctant to try to wrap up the current call quickly. Too often it has taken minutes to wrap up the call. The other person wasn't being intentionally difficult, but kept remembering "quick questions". Of course, now my important call is gone. I may have made an appointment for a call with caller #2, while caller # 1 just called.
There are no hard and fast rules. It's just what seems polite this time and "How would I want to be treated?"
My parents have suddenly started using an answering service. Before, when I called them, I would hang up if the phone rang more than 6 times...they were not home. Got in an arguement with Shrek today that I should have left a message that I had called. Why? I haven't needed to leave one for the first 50 years.
As for call waiting...I don't like it and I don't use it.
As for call waiting...I don't like it and I don't use it.
Claire
Master Chef
I knew this would be a bombshell! Manners and etiquette to me are just different rules for the same thing, and the first rule is that they are a social lubricant. They are meant to make us be able to live closely together without killing each other. I guess it was brought home to me most closely when my youngest sis (13 years my junior) had a daughter and said daughter asked me for something. I don't remember what, but it was within easy reach and my sister mildly flipped. "Auntie Claire, NO! .... Susie Q (not her real name, obviously) mind your manners!" Then she turned to me and told me never to give her kid (now kids) anything if the magic words are not in proper place.
I wish my father would start using his answering machine. Half the time he doesn't hear the phone ring
And then there are the phone calls he makes to me after checking his caller ID... Any number that shows up as private, I get the call... "Did you call me?" If he used his answering machine, he'd know!
Phones...
Trust me, if you have made it to my table, the hat issue has already been addressed at the front door.
Well heck yeah. The house is one thing, I was talking diners. Maybe because I live in a farm town. Even some of the waitresses wear ball caps.
I don't think ball caps are the issue. Waitresses should wear some sort of hat, cap or hair net for health purposes (preventing loose hair from falling into our food). Besides, women wearing a hat at the table (as a guest) at home or in public, is acceptable. (Honest, I don't make this stuff up!
)[A waitress who wears a ball cap at work needs to watch "What Not To Wear" - particularly if she wants to increase her tips (a proven fact, what you wear effects them!
)]
It depends on the establishment. I always told my brother to look for the eldest male in the room/restaurant and do what he did. Can't go far wrong there.
Of course, my poor brother is a hen-pecked gentlman...three big sisters, unfortunate kid!
It definitely depends on the establishment or situation.
That's why blanket statements that say something is totally wrong, or that things must be done this way... show poor nettiquette
It definitely depends on the establishment or situation.
That's why blanket statements that say something is totally wrong, or that things must be done this way... show poor nettiquette
Aw c'mon...it's fun to generalize and see everyone come to arms over the statement.
I always, almost, sometimes make blanket ambiguous statements.
Andy M.
Certified Pretend Chef
Aw c'mon...it's fun to generalize and see everyone come to arms over the statement.
I always, almost, sometimes make blanket ambiguous statements.
Yeah, what he said.
MSC
Head Chef
I'd like to add to the list of things that have died out to, after going to a party/dinner party etc. to phone, email or (OMG!) snail mail a thank you.
Also if I owned a restaurant that was considered more upscale than McDonald's, I'd have a dress code, no hats, shorts and flipflops in evening dining, and if that would put a lot of potential 'diners' off, so be it, I think I'd still make a profit from diners happy to abide with simple good manners.
And must comment that we here in this thread, appalled at bad manners and blatant non-observance of basic etiquette are (LOL--it's not a laughing matter but what else can I do!) yes we're outnumbered by a huge majority and it appears to be getting worse.
Also if I owned a restaurant that was considered more upscale than McDonald's, I'd have a dress code, no hats, shorts and flipflops in evening dining, and if that would put a lot of potential 'diners' off, so be it, I think I'd still make a profit from diners happy to abide with simple good manners.
And must comment that we here in this thread, appalled at bad manners and blatant non-observance of basic etiquette are (LOL--it's not a laughing matter but what else can I do!) yes we're outnumbered by a huge majority and it appears to be getting worse.
Aw c'mon...it's fun to generalize and see everyone come to arms over the statement.
I always, almost, sometimes make blanket ambiguous statements.
Don't be so unsure of yourself.
Kayelle
Chef Extraordinaire
I agree with what so many of you have said, but since we are all cooks here, how about grocery store manners?
It seems that the minute some people enter a grocery store, they check their manners at the door! They don't seem to be aware of the people around them, from leaving their carts in the middle of the isle, to talking on their cell phones!! Not to mention blocking the isles with their entire family in tow. Yes, I know there are people who must take their little kids with them, but for Pete sake, teach them the manners to stay out of the way of others. Then there's the check out lines. Fifteen items or less, doesn't mean 15 items to many people. Why can't people place a spacer at the end of their items for the next shopper? The free samples at Costco also get my goat. You'd think those people hadn't eaten in days! I enjoy the free food samples too, but I'm one of the few who thank the demonstrator, and move on leaving room for others. Geeze, why do people stand right there to eat their free food??
It seems that the minute some people enter a grocery store, they check their manners at the door! They don't seem to be aware of the people around them, from leaving their carts in the middle of the isle, to talking on their cell phones!! Not to mention blocking the isles with their entire family in tow. Yes, I know there are people who must take their little kids with them, but for Pete sake, teach them the manners to stay out of the way of others. Then there's the check out lines. Fifteen items or less, doesn't mean 15 items to many people. Why can't people place a spacer at the end of their items for the next shopper? The free samples at Costco also get my goat. You'd think those people hadn't eaten in days! I enjoy the free food samples too, but I'm one of the few who thank the demonstrator, and move on leaving room for others. Geeze, why do people stand right there to eat their free food??
Don't be so unsure of yourself.
I am absolutely, not-positive I agree or disagree with the last statement I made or didn't make.
Agreed, we are a very small number and the barbarians are at the gate.
